How Does One Prepare To Die?

How does one prepare to die?
Dread.
Unexplored worlds,
with no tourist guide.

Will last moments be filled
with regrets overripe,
too late for picking;
like noticing the shake
in your surgeon’s hand
a second before
the gas kicks in?

Who are these people
hoping to go
surrounded by the ones
they love the most -
have they never bowed to
Mr. Squirrel convulsing
at the edge
of the curb, overcome
by fascinated pity,
wanting simultaneously to
comfort and allow him dignity?

I imagine it might be
like ending up
an unpaid entertainer
at your own birthday party,
trying to please
and smile
and remember your manners;
careful not to show disappointment
or the nausea threatening to
flood your throat

…a landmark on your existence
without the privacy required
for personal reflection.

Surely this is the one time

that masks should be

permitted to slip;

 

a final self-evaluation.

  

Author's Note

I really want to make this piece better. Any help appreciated. Thanks.

Reviews

[Ivy]

Well written and deep.My favorite part is the last stanza,"Will last moments be filledwith regrets overripe,too late for picking;like noticing the shakein your surgeon’s handa second beforethe gas kicks in?"Even though it is only two stanzas long, the last one is one I think that inspires true thought on the subject.Again, wonderfully written.

[R J Askew]

My instant reaction to the title was live wild, but that is glib. I really liked the notion of he unpaid entertainer at one's own birthday, which seems utterly forlorn. And there is dread in the entertainer fearing he might vomit. Reminds me of one or two poetry readings where a sudden sinking feeling grips me half way through a poem... That 'I-can't-believe-I-wrote-this-let-alone-am-actually-reading-it' feeling which grips even as the words are dying in the air.

[TL Boehm]

sheesh. I don't know what one would want to add to this one - its a bit like that Alanis Morrisette song "Ironic" only more poetic than that. The Mr. Squirrel comment especially got me as well as those last couple of lines. And the comment about allowing the masks to slip a little.

[Emily B]

oh, I've read this before. I probably backed quietly out of the room because I didn't quite know what to say. Preparing to die must be a personal thing. We all have differing perceptions about the little things. Which shade actually is red? What kind of mustard is the best? How different must be our perceptions of dying.

When my mother-in-law passed, we were in the house with her from Friday afternoon until the middle of the night on Monday. There are so many stories about what it was like meeting death. Little things, fragments of memories, times we thought she was gone and she'd mutter something like "well, if he's not there, I'm not coming yet." The oxygen machine making the room too hot, goosebumps on only my left arm just like somebody unseen was standing beside me. And at times, having us around must have been an awful aggravation to her spirit. Feeding off our living energy seemed to prolong her final moments.

I went from not having a single comment to nearly writing a book. It's not nearly all of what those four days held but may give you an idea of my perceptions. I wrote about some of it in "The Struggle". It's not one I bring out and feature a lot. I was with her in those final moments, just me, her and the hospice nurse, and what I saw made me not so afraid of the inevitable.

[Tomás Ó C..]

A better way to prepare for death may be a little prayer?

[F. Nazarov]

End was one of my favorite parts.
I really Don't know how people prepare to die.
I guess it one of those "I'll tell you when I get there" kind of things.
Awesome.

[Kenji]

I liked the ending of this piece. It was nicely planned out and extremely well written. Very powerful. Good job.

[Jennifer Welker]

wow.
i really love the use of F**K when appropriate. it lends an element of punctuation that i quite like. this poem is much more than just a f**k -- made me feel. evoked fear, compassion, rage, surrender and futility. i will read again. i liked it very much, as though i were a part of the conversation.

Oh this is just amazing; I can honestly say I'd be angry with you if you hadn't asked me to review this and I apologize for taking so long.

The second stanza is wonderful. The "surgeon's hand" image is wonderful and instills a sense of fear as well as the deep regret.

The squirrel/birthday metaphor is brilliant! Period!

I'm not sure if I'm entirely fond of the way you laid out the last stanza with the "vs.". The profanity seems to suck something out of this; I feel like I slammed into a brick wall. It just feels out of place among the rest of the poem, as well as the vs. thing. I think you may be able to phrase that differently and make a stronger impact that holds to the consistency throughout the rest of the poem.

But, overall, this piece has increased my respect for you as a writer.

[Gary H]

I feel really bad about this. I thought I had reviewed this but appears I haven't. I seem to remember thinking it was really good and my opinion and the opinions of others have backed this up.

The structure is really well thought out and it's an excellent read.

Sorry, crap review. Don't let Samith see it!!!

[Samith Pich]

Boylan, I'm pissed. You have no idea the glee that was in my eyes when you said that u thought it was crap. I was sharpening my knives ready to cut you to shreds. I can't work with this s**t!

*takes a look at your fantastic last lines, spits on them and slams the door as i walk out of the room*