Seasonal Nostalgic

Leapfrogging my grandparents’

Battenberg patio

On crucial missions known only to me

Observed by sluggish ants

Milling sun-drowsily

About the cracks

Whilst their winged cousins

-       Oh, the flying ant,

Summer’s notorious villain! -

Boldly emerged upon

The grey, baking slabs

 

Didn’t it seem the clock hands

                                    Were bleeding                          (time stigmata)

Choc ice and water fights

Outgrown school shoes scuffed

And faded, a forgotten concept

On the horizon: dread

But the future

Could be squinted away

 

Yet the soil thirsted for Autumn

 

And in the end

Everything is dirt

Reviews

[Imara]

Wow. This was so sweet it took me back to the hot summer days! "On crucial missions known only to me" oh boy do I know what your talking about.
The only part I don't understand is this " (time stigmata)" I'm not quite sure why its there, it really messed up the flow for me.
Ok back to the poem. The ending was so real and so powerful, that those summer days and nights are going to end but we want to and as kids we are going to ignore the fact that autumn, school is coming back around soon because right now we just want to play. Great Job :)

[Raef C. Boylan]

Hi, thanks for the read and review. i'm glad you could dig the kind of memories I was trying to get across. I'm not 100% sure about the time stigmata myself, but it's related to the clock hands bleeding and it must have made a lot of sense at the time of writing so I'm fond of it.

[Imara]

The were bleeding part makes a lot of sense to me. I took it to mean that the time was wasting away that in a painful sense you were summer was slowly dying. It's the parenthesis that confuse me, like you're trying to explain why you used the metaphor. Haha if your fond of it then keep it :) It's not doing any harm and it kind of gives it a personal mark.

[Samith Pich]

As good as I remember but better.

[Ramé]

That ending is just perfection because it smacks back to the reality of everything.

There’s something so gorgeous in the blunt descriptives of this piece that drew me in, from the battenberg patio (king of cakes by the way) to the horizon’s dread. I also enjoyed thinking about the ants and how they would be drawn towards death, so it felt like this poem had double meaning for me.

Very much enjoyed. Thank you for sharing.

[Jessica J]

Immaculate...I haven't read this yet. I love love love the imagery. I wish I could write as descriptive as this. Thank you for sharing.

[Sami Khalil]

A very enjoyable poem...Thank you for penning...:)...................

[prachi prangya agasti]

great.. nicely written brought back memories..!!

[Raef C. Boylan]

Hey, thanks.

[Mike Cole]

I still love summer and this did a great job of reminding me of that

[Raef C. Boylan]

Cheers, I'm glad.

[stephen dillon]

i really hope you could help me stucture my writing as well as your's is. I mean, i love spontaneous prose but a little after the fact structuring would be great. One more time my friend i will say amazing poem and you are starting to fill up my library with great nay,genious creations inspired by whatever a(muse)s you.

[stephen dillon]

wait i almost thought i was 7yrs old for a sec
nice one man