Happiness

Happiness

 

Seeing her…

 

Like a butterfly bringing beauty to nettles

each brief touchdown it makes;

like a sunset viewed from the top deck of a city bus

reducing you to exhilarated tears;

she is my hot chocolate protection

from vicious, personal rain

 

Being near her…

 

Akin to leaning against a friendly breeze

radiating salty spray upon your face;

akin to the strolls beneath leafy canopies

with sunlight filtering through dappled shade;

she is every lung-expanding chorus

of my everlasting anthems

 

Thinking of her…

 

Just as summer freedom once promised to echo

into endless hot tarmac and discovery;

just as irreversible death

once seemed a fictional impossibility;

she overwhelms life's theme of horror

against my better judgement

 

 

Happiness

 

Breathe in your daily ration

and savour it,

cupped in your palms,

 

then let it go.

 

Before it cripples and dies.

 

Author's Note

Can you radiate something 'upon' something, or is that grammatically incorrect? Thanks.

Reviews

[robin]

Wow and I thought I kept 'em in the jar too long...You are such a romantic, your statue of love would be epic. Your words sound the bell of crushing loss, that we evade as long as possible, then hindsight reminds us without fail. There must be hundreds here to rescue you from this plight. Live long and prosper poet. Keep up this fantastic word wizardry.

[Hedra Helix]

;) my friend, its beautiful how deep and true you love.


this is bad a*s. of all of it tis is soooo bad a*s.

she is my hot chocolate protection

[zig]

man, you write books faster than i can read them heh, good for you.

this is awesome, very strong piece, great personalization, nothing too universal about it, very well put together. i didnt think the ending was confusing, but maybe to did some editing since the time of the review that say it was a little confusing, anyway, i liked it and think it works, demonstration of trust... perhaps the core of love. very well done my friend. zig

[Raef C. Boylan]

tw*t...you've lost her now.

[Candle in the wind]

Happiness
Breathe in your daily ration
and savour it,cupped in your palms,
then let it go.
Before it cripples and dies.
What a beautiful way of putting it! But often we don't get to savour it enough.Thans for entering it in my contest.The votes will decide its status but I love it.

[Emily B]

Every line is a breath of fresh air. I didn't think the ending was negative at all. You can't keep love or butterflies alive pinned up in a mayonnaise jar. Even if you do poke holes in the lid. It's a big truth. If you want to keep love you have to let it breathe and stretch and grow. I've not read too many of your poems that are all warm and fuzzy. I like this style on you. You did good.

[Solst Rapture]

What can I really say about what you write, or what anyone else writes for that matter? There is nothing for me to criticize and I hate critics, unless of course there is something seriously illogical that is claiming to be logical etc. My point is that I am becoming less able to comment on Poetry. I think it is all wonderful, because it is invaluable for me and I support the expressions of people, above many other things. The message people deliver in their poetry can be multi layered and complicated and I hate myself for trying to attempt menial translations like some student of words, which I will always be but I am less analytical than I used to be. I think I can some up what I am trying to say and in a very distant way and although a different context, I think you will agree.

I'll breathe in my daily ration of poetry, happiness too,
I'll savour it, happiness too,
constructed in your mind,
cupped in my palms,

I'll remember it and will never be the same again,
But I'll let it go,
Before it cripples me.

I know this, I know your thoughts here precisely.

I am at this very moment experiencing a state of inertia.

[eli mercuree rue]

anyone who knows me knows i love manipulating the f**k out of words so
its only natural when i do it to your poem

Happiness

Seeing her�
Being near her�
Thinking of her�

Happiness- let it go.

Before it cripples and dies.

But I know you had to have intended for it to be read that way because it was to easy lol
and i didnt really reverse anything yet maybe when i read it again i will

Happiness- let it go. Before it cripples and dies.
so yeah
its like that wake up call you know
like dude juss chill and let what happens happen
but not really in the sense of progressing
more like a sensible coalescing of sorts
or tight underwear
mkay random haha


Breathe in your daily ration
and savour it,

saying ration made me think of war and then war led to thoughts about restriction inconviencies space distance then loving whats there small amounts will suffice but making everything so much more needed
...............................................................................................................................

f*****g metaphors and imagery rock by the way

um yeah

[Bubo]

Wonderfully written........such beauty in your words, the joy of her.........

reducing you to exhilarated tears,
she is my hot chocolate protection
from vicious, personal rain

Being near her�

Just adored this........a fave for me.

[Found Lost]

Wow, Im really impressed, I liked it alot, good work and keep going.