Dark Corners

Some people

treat their navels

like a looking glass

to reflect upon themselves,

 

but judge and jury

tumble down hills of insanity

and the executioner

beckons.

 

In one small room,

whispering of inevitable doom,

too many eyes;

their poisons

 

pumping through the walls,

leave behind minds pulsating

and mockeries of escaping.

Ancient webs collapse,

 

dripping. Spiders fake paralysis,

scheming of the fatal pounce;

sinister blots waiting to announce

that your prison

 

is internal existence.

 

Reviews

[Bubo]

Ouch............I felt this............deeply, the last being "is internal existence".........all those awful turmoils inside us, struggling,

dripping. Spiders fake paralysis,
scheming of the fatal pounce;

and thats exactly how it feels........you weaved a web within a web.........and the title is perfect.

[Dominick]

It took a few reads to really grasp this one in its entirety but it was worth the extra effort. Some keen lines I picked up on that really stuck out "too many eyes; their poisons" and of course the open with "navels like a looking glass". I like the 'pause' or extra line before the closing statement. It wraps it up nicely.

[Emily B]

I think Dark Corners is the perfect name. An internal existence is the darkest thing I can imagine and you painted it well.

[eli mercuree rue]

ok ok ok
iM ready and calm
so this can lead to
a tame.boring review
or no review at all
just a tad bit empTee
insida me head at the moment
enough space
for me
to do some cartwheels
or something

so someone else insida yo head been sending you
words to put on paper eh..?
thas always fun and i have a lot of poems i dont remember writing
or the meaning of except for what other people tell me
...oaknuts
yeah..giant ones

what is a milkswagger lauren ...i dont f*****g know haha

now that ive gotten that outta the way here is a mah [stewpig] review
__________________________________________________________________________________________

Some people
treat their navels
like a looking glass
to reflect upon themselves,

..oh my word [haha]
some people also jump off buildings [wha..?]
um yeah
so the navel ...the mark on the surface of the abdomen of mammals where the umbilical cord was attached while dey was in dey mazers
so they be looking into their selves to see their selves from the perspective of their parents ..like "im like this because of this b***h and that b*****d"
the blame game we all do it
except for those who dont get the chance but we all do

but judge and jury
tumble down hills of insanity
and the executioner
beckons.

and uh the real people talking they s**t are just killing themselves
slowly trying to get into somebody elses mind to see why zey are zee
way zee are ya kno.. when the real problem is up zey own arse

In one small room,
whispering of inevitable doom,
too many eyes;
their poisons

.. well this one is pretty self evident maybe unless its suppose to seem this way as a trick
but words are the worst when used to hurt someone especially when other people are
watching and laughing "ey paul look there goes another bird watcher"

pumping through the walls,
leave behind minds pulsating
and mockeries of escaping.
Ancient webs collapse,

pumping through the preys veins is the predators
words leaving behind scars thatll never go away
cause memory always fails but this was a learned
behavior not a memorised one it cant be escaped...
cause like ancient webs collapsing
everything that once was is not longer what is

dripping. Spiders fake paralysis,
scheming of the fatal pounce;
sinister blots waiting to announce
that your prison

is internal existence.

this place we were placed in by the first aact has us trapped waiting for someone to f**k us over one last time so we can quit [living] and accept the thoughts of others as our own
judgin from the outside not within

__________________________________________________________________________________________

how you like a me now..


see here
this is just a look
at a precurser to social anxiety
and suicide
woohoo


lets all light the roofs on fire and let the fuckers burn burn burn

[Bryce Simonds]

My personal opinion is you have written better. This, well, the words through me off. But that's just a 14 year olds look, I don't know all the words out there yet, but I'm sure others know what you're talking about. I am sorry I can't give you much of a review on this.

[O!]

I like this.......I like this very much!!....Ill tell u what i think! :-)

Some people
treat their navels
like a looking glass
to reflect upon themselves,

- I think its clever though unsual to use navel coz everybody looks at their navel and knows its there but its really disregarded which makes u stare at in and while you do so u think and thus, have time to reflect........and then i thought....a navel is where ur very first nourisher was attached....the umbilical chord.....so it makes u reflect on the time of innocence!!

but judge and jury
tumble down hills of insanity
and the executioner
beckons

- decisions have to be made and are not always easy and there's always someone waiting impatiently which can be stressful and sometimes drive one crazy!!

In one small room,
whispering of inevitable doom,
too many eyes;
their poisons

- there is only one outcome to what has been done and that is doom...too many witnesses and too many ppl looking at u in shame.

pumping through the walls,
leave behind minds pulsating
and mockeries of escaping.
Ancient webs collapse,

- its all out in the open!

dripping. Spiders fake paralysis,
scheming of the fatal pounce;
sinister blots waiting to announce
that your prison

is internal existence.

- whats worse than prison walls is the fact that u have to live with knowing what Really happened!!!....

So there is is My BOY!!.....my second review grrrrrrrrrrrrr.........worded differently than the first time i did before i so stupidly logged off!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......but well, dunno if im close (though i wasnt guessing).......twas more how i read it!!
and if it is how i read it....i like the title! :-)

Thank you. phew! :-P

x
O! :-)

[Meet Lola, The Better H..]

ummmmm.... aaaaaahhhhhhh... I don't quite get it O.O....... I think the word choice of "navels" through me off, and the rest...... well i was trying to figure out navels..........aaaaaahhhhhhhhh

[Crazy Cat Man]

good poem....I am not sure what it's about either.......maybe the title "Dark Corners" doesn't work..........maybe call it "Evil Piercings"