Kirstie

Kirstie doesn’t read

 

for pleasure;

one or maybe two books

were forced upon her

at school, but she

can’t recall their titles.

 

Strangely, this makes me

feel stupid.

 

It blows my brain.

 

We’re worlds apart,

divided by this fact

like a bookmark

halting progress:

she never made it

past the cover page.

 

And I can’t help

dwelling on the hours

accumulated in silence;

have I wasted years

absorbed in my own

imagination?

 

It also

makes me wary,

as I would be

in the presence

of any alien creature

 

whose mind works

so differently to mine.

 

Author's Note

Merged the two versions together. Does this flow ok? Thanks.

Reviews

[Samith Pich]

Haha, loved this poem too. What hooked me initially was how this poem looked on the page, like a book mark, it's visually very elegant, with slight raggedly edges. You've constructed the poem really well, which I'd infer is from editing it to a high level. Simply a REALLY good poem :)

Thanks for sharing

[Emily B]

I came back. Somehow it grew into itself. I agree with Samith.

[Hedra Helix]

Haha, It does flow, I love that. Perfect translation of the thought process that would go within me too.

[Alicante lullaby]

You have through your pen painted a very dynamic picture of KRISTIE.Sometimes,we live together for years not knowing eachother but then I feel this is very important for any relation.There would be no intrigue ,once you know all and we as humans must have something to explore.It keeps us tied.Opposite poles of a magnet attract eachother so must two people with contrary taste.however,one must feel allienated at times.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

Oh wow!!! Haha; I loved this!! I loved your thoughts.... I loved how it actually caught my attention, and made me think about something, and not in that forcing my brain to work sort of way.

I've been enraptured lately by how people's minds work so differently; and the last person I dated was sooo different than me. I love how you said her reading made YOU feel stupid, because that's so ridiculous but strangely true how something like that can do that.

Really great. :) ha, glad i read this.

[Tony]

I'm not a scholar of poetry, and nor do I understand all the types and rhythms thereof. I can say this though:
Through clever use of word and phrase a picture has been painted here of a girl I know well. And I feel through similar memories, the frustration presented here. It's like, "Man, I really like this girl, almost supernaturally at times, but how would we communicate?"
Also, 'alien creature' was the word that framed the picture. Perfect.

[Damien Dsoul]

The poem is made of two parts, and I don't know about others, but for me I don't see much that links them together. I liked the first part, but the second feels more like introspection...

[PianoandPage]

i really love this. i'm sorry i missed out on the whole version 1 vs version 2 thing.

as it is i can totally relate to this piece. feeling that huge rift between the reader and the non-reader. moments of self doubt and the sort of harmless pretentious elitism that often skips the questions you are honest enough to admit to.... "am i wasting time just reading?"

[Snuggles McClintock]

enjoyed version two much more than 1. though, because your words are driven more by ideas than images, I would suggest fleshing this out into story of Kirstie

[F. Nazarov]

I think they both have similar thoughts, but there are details distinct to each.
Personally,
I like the second one the most,
but I think you want to have everything from both. The best thing you could do
is split up the pieces into corresponding events and try to put them together
like you would a puzzle. It might take some time and some more
inner reflection; however, I think you'll find what you're looking for
when you're finished.
It is just a suggestion though :D Hope it helps.