Playground Philosophy

 

 

“It’s all bullshit,

you know,” says one little kid

to another.

 

The second kid pokes a crayon

into a nostril and asks,

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Them; forcing their crap down our throats.

Don’t chew

and don’t swallow, okay?”

 

“What should I do then?”

 

“Spit.”

 

The second kid spits

on the playground floor.

 

“Will that work”?

 

“Don’t be so literal-minded.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Look -” says kid number one,

“are you a girl or a boy?”

 

“Is this a test?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Is it a trick question?”

 

“No.”

 

“I’m a boy.”

 

“How do you know you’re a boy?”

 

“I just am.”

 

“So when you woke up this morning,

did you just decide to be a boy?”

 

“No, stupid, I’ve always been a boy.”

 

“Says who? Do you remember being born?”

 

“No.”

 

“So who told you you’ve always been a boy?”

 

“This crayon tastes funny...

Nobody told me, I just know.”

 

“Don’t eat it then. Does your dad

call you a girl?”

 

“NO! He says I’m a boy.”

 

“Okay, so you’re a boy because your dad says so?”

 

“No.”

 

The second kid starts tracing shapes

in the dirt with his fingers.

 

“Because teachers say so?” presses

the first kid.

 

“No.”

 

“So how do you know you’re a boy?”

 

“I play with Harry and Carl and

they’re boys.”

 

The first kid thinks this over.

“Am I a boy or a girl?”

 

“You’re a girl.”

 

“But I play with Harry and Carl too. So

I must be a boy as well.”

 

“You’re a girl.”

 

“But if playing with Harry and Carl

is what makes you a boy, then I’m a boy too.”

 

“Nope, it doesn’t work like that.

 You’re a girl.”

 

“Well then, maybe you’re a girl too.”

 

“No, I’m not – I’m a boy!”

The second kid starts crying.

 

“Don’t you want to be a girl?”

 

“NO!”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I’m a boy. I like doing boys’ things.”

 

“Well, what are girls’ things?”

 

“Dolls and dresses and lipstick and

stupid stuff like that.”

 

“Well then, I don’t like girls’ things.”

 

“Too bad.”

 

“Too bad for you as well, since you

might not be a boy.”

 

“Shut up! I AM a boy!”

 

“So am I, remember? I play with

Harry and Carl too.”

 

The second kid thinks hard, sniffling.

“Boys don’t wear skirts.”

 

“I don’t wear skirts.”

 

“Boys have short hair.”

 

“Not all of them do. Anyway, I

have short hair.”

 

“Boys don’t cry.”

 

“You just cried.”

 

“They don’t cry about stupid things

like falling over or getting their clothes dirty.”

 

“I don’t cry about stupid things.”

 

There is silence for a moment,

and then a triumphant smile

creeps over the second kid’s face.

 

“Can you pee standing up?”

 

“I do sometimes.”

 

“But do you have a willy?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then you’re a girl.”

 

“So you’re a boy because you have a willy?”

 

“Yeah, and you don’t so you’re a girl!”

 

The first kid drops her head, defeated.

 

“You’re weird!”says the second kid,

and runs away.

 

Alone now, the first kid sighs.

“Guess I better get used to that, huh?”

Author's Note

This isn't very good. It's mainly just for me; I'm trying to explore my own head.
Any suggestions to help it run smoother would be appreciated though. Thanks.

Reviews

[Mike Mitchell]

Hahaha this is good. Great dialogue, once again. It's reminiscent of 'Godot': just the back and forth of two characters that are trying to figure s**t out. You should try working in the play form. From what I've read of your's, you're a very dialogue based writer, and you don't rely much on narration, which is good. So why not think of performance more than storytelling?

[Random Writting's Of me..]

This made me laugh,thought it was great and you are being to modest by saying its not lol anyways just wanted to share that and thanks for sharing this!

[Ican'trightwrite]

Um I kind get the whole not trying to give them names thing. I got a little confused. It would help a little if the kids were named but I think something a little less or open. I mean open by the fact that you could put anyone in those shoes would be to make the kids stand out from i.e. said the kid with a hat, the kid with crayon.

This might be a lame suggestion but I'm sure if you do take it you could revamp into all your own style.

[Kimberly]

You are too modest. I think this is a great story, well written, and provocative. I like this a lot.

[Emily Rose]

Hey, sorry it took me so long to revisit this. Busy summer and everything.

I really like your additions to this piece - it really adds demension. As usual I can be a little nitpicky and the first thing that jumped out at me the was the "don't be so literal-minded" comment. Although I love the exchange and the misinterpretation, it's doubtful that an 8-year-old would know the term "literal" and how it differs from the figurative. Small children's brains are still growing when they're that young and figurative concepts will be harder for them to grasp, so I doubt that they would learn the difference between what is literal and figurative at such a young age. You could probably change the phrasing to something a bit more chlildlike: "don't be silly. You don't ACTUALLY spit." Or something like that.

Aside from that, I love all the additions. The flow is much smoother and you touch on a lot of other things relating to gender. I especially like the change that you made concerning the ending - the boy uses his anatomy to defeat the girl - still a last resort but much more of a triumph instead of a simple defense. The last line is much better, too.

One tiny grammar issue, though: "The second kid pokes a crayon/into their nostril and asks," since you're dealing with a singular "kid," your pronoun should be singular too. The problem with this is that to say "his" (which is technically the "neuter" usage of that word, for some reason) would imply that the kid is a boy, and I don't think you want to get into gender just yet. You could probably fix this by changing the "their" to an "a": "The second kid pokes a crayon/into a nostril and asks" it sounds a bit strange, but it's more grammatically correct.

You edited this very well - it's quite well done and I like this version better since it's more developed and seems to have more meaning. Well done as usual!

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

As a story it does run smooth. The form looks like poetry though. I thought it was a cute story, little kids in a school yard is what I envision all through the story. I can see the boy not really knowing how to convince the girl that he was a boy, and the girl insisting that she was too a boy and the pain she felt when the boy wins and she now know she doesn't have a willy like the boys. then as a girl her feelings hurt and she runs a way crying. Good write, I like.

[Jake H.]

I can't tell you how much this made me laugh. Your thoughts translate well.

[StriDe]

Cool,I'm feelin' it...-

[Morning Song]

Whatcha mean "this isn't very good"???

I found it EXCELLENT. So that means either I'm not a very good judge of poetry, or you're not a very good judge of your OWN poetry!!!

No, boys and girls do NOT just wake up one morning and decide "I'm a boy" (or girl). It's inate, and nothing that can be controlled or decided. Your point is well taken, my friend.

Hugs...
Jeri

[Emily B]

I like the circularity of the arguments. The persistence of the kid who won't let go of the argument.

My daughters think my son is 'girly'. My friends heard it said and raised their eyebrows in that knowing way. He's just a boy. Just a little more sensitive to the emotions of those around him than most. Maybe I ought to start an argument on the playground so we can get it all sorted out!