Uncle Bob: something to read in the waiting room...

Death came to call on you
a few months ago.
He stayed for a pint
and a bite of pork pie,
and left feeling cheered
by your generosity.

You knew he'd be back;
probably called him a gobshite
as you waved goodbye,
and I hope he laughed
the way we used to.

Death does his rounds
in a baseball cap now,
he was that taken with you.

Like him, we admire your bravery

through all that was happening;

you taught me

that being a Boylan
means finding the joke
in everything.

 

Author's Note

I ended up not reading this at my uncle's funeral.

Reviews

[W.k.kortas]

If I'm reading this right, your uncle sounds like the type of man who wouldn't want wailing and hand-wringing at his funeral, and if that's truly the case, then I think the tone is spot-on--appreciative and wistful, but not turgid and blubbery. The third stanza had me scratching my head a little, but if the baseball cap is a personal reference, it's fine. To my eyes and ears, this is perfectly appropriate.

[holly]

Quite frankly, I don't see what you could change. It's a bit more of a prose poem than some you've written, but that seems appropriate. The only brutal thing I can say is: read it and be confident and if some don't like it too bad for them. It's filled with affection and you. And I bet that's all that would matter to Himself.

June 24th - I wish you could have felt good about reading it. You really honored him by your affectionate honesty.

[L.V. Ana]

This is really good...there's not much critique that I think it needs...is the end quote supposed to be there without the beginning? Just curious. I like that end line..."being a Boylan is about finding the joke in everything."

[Hedra Helix]

woo hoo yeah! that works good;)

[Hedra Helix]

HI!

Sorry for your loss homie, sound like he was great though;)



Death came to call on you
a few months ago.
He stayed for a pint
and a bite of pork pie,
and left feeling cheered
by your generosity.

[Nik Dendera]

I think its fine. I think its all down tot he delivery of the piece. I love that its personal, but not full on slushy, because from the sounds of it, your uncle wasn't like that. He seemed like a fun kind of guy-I loved that you used the word 'gobshite'! That is such a great word, I love using it!

Excellent ending. Try reading it in front of a mirror, I used to do that to learn my lines before a perfomance.
Hope you're ok :)

[Just Manoosh]

I too didn't get the baseball cap reference but the rest sat well.

The tone was playful and complimentary, and most definately captures a great character.

Hugs,
Mx