ring[worm]master II

Originally written for a contest on insanity.

 

i think, think you know me, think you [calm sea?][salami?] [army?]

are me

 

you see?   no,you don't see

 

i know, know you rememberwhen thetightrope started to fray

and youdidn’t even attemptto jump                                 down

instead you frozefrom fearof what youmight never know

 

and now you know i betyou your lifeyou wishyou triedto escape

 

but the truth is

you’d been dancingon that tightrope

for far too long, went too far                              out

 

i reckon, reckon everyone has a choice

whether to even set foot on that line

 

you see,you chose this           you chose insanity

 

i doubt,doubt you believe me

that everyone gets the chance to danceand most turn away

 

sometimes they

go on to be jugglers or lion tamers                 a modest part of the show

 

i knowyou knowwhat i’m getting at here

 

something in you

craved the thrill of risking the drop

even though it madeyou nauseous

you weren’t ableto stopyourself

it was too delicious

 

so now you’ve fallen, tripped or dove

 

i’ll let youin on a secret:

 

i     was neverhereto begin with

 

do youhear

 

you                                    made me up so you could cross the border

then fooled yourself into thinking              it was me                           

giving the orders

 

i think, think you know me

as a consequence of irreversibility

 

a symptom of those who [willingly] venture into

c r a z y

 

 

Author's Note

Another one that probably wasn't worth saving. I'll print it and then delete it...maybe. Am weak.

Reviews

[Hedra Helix]

I like this.

there is an element of looseness in it but I think that it plays with the mind and has enough seeds plus a healthy structure of internal sound to the reading of it that its solid. I came to this with the wisps of another thought from your other poem I just finished a revelation of sorts and wether its true or not, my perception, this was able to morph itself and fit itself inside the glove of that idea and may I say, with style too.

so I like this. lots. if this is your outer edge your nucleus is solid.

[Floating on the feather..]

This aint crap...I feel the conflicting mind here. The mind of a human being, who is thinking, thinking hard to reach somewhere, give some direction to his thoughts and contradicting his own thoughts at every point.

This is out of the league but its good.

Shinjini

[Tamme]

you
made me up
so you could cross
the border
then fooled yourself
into thinking
it was me
giving the orders

I like this part cause it made me wonder who "me" is. Is it the voice in my head or a religious type figure (as you know, I do things because my God wants me too)

Since this doesn't have an obvious "this is what you should think" nature I must say, I like this crap :)

[Emily B]

sometimes we have to step out of our style. And just because we aren't particularly in love with the results doesn't mean there is no merit.

I like it.

[Bubo]

Wow...this is different........liked it though and not crap.........so many images, you speaking in the mind os someone else, would love to know what prompted the write............could mean so many things.........

[Not Afraid of Bruises]

I do feel obliged...and I don't think it is crap. Not amazing, yes, but not crap. I feel like there is a battle going on - the speaker against him/herself...I really liked it, honestly I did. Just read through it slowly and out loud, some parts jerked the reader around a bit too much - but it was good :) best of luck