Duck Pond [two versions]

The Duck Pond

 

Still air humming like dulled neon signs,

the traffic faded like hysteria.

World’s edge no longer awash with plastic bags;

no crumbs in the grass.

We rule it all now

and accept no scraps from Man’s table.

Look at them slink past,

shooting wary glances in our direction.

They would fill us with lead, children,

but they dare not get close.

Now fly on wings of death;

watch them scatter.

Let us taste.

 

The Duck Pond II

 

The pigeons mix with the mallards

The swans huddle up with the geese

I think the world has gone crazy

But at least the duck pond’s at peace.

 

We all feel a sickness fester

None of us feel well

No one’s taken away the bodies

I’m worried they might go to Duck Hell.

 

People make warding-off gestures

Whenever they pass by

They seem to be sneezing and shaking

I sense that they’re going to die.

 

The Beeps-Beeps are still and silent

The Walk-Now man has gone dark

There’s less people all the time

And none cut through the park.

 

The others are concerned about

Who will bring the bread.

Me, I’m anticipating

When hysteria will bring lead.

 

Author's Note

Written a few years ago, when avian flu' was threatening to let us live a reality of Stephen King's The Stand. Let me know which version you prefer, thanks.

Reviews

[F. Nazarov]

I personally like number two. I just find it more intrguing in a way than the 1st version, almost like it just flows together easier. Yet, I've never been one to disregard writing in any form, so why not combine them?
Maybe it might seem a bit long, and I'm not known for having the best attention span, but I shall stubbornly stand by my idea. To tell you the truth, you want to know what really sealed the envelope on version two? This specific line:

"The Walk-Now man has gone dark"

It made me laugh for some stange, unknown reason. Well, why ponder on what I cannot explain. It was well-written though, I've never thought of the Avain flu in those terms, but I liked it.

[Anthony Morningstar]

I like the second one. Not really sure why maybe it has to do with the fact that one of the ducks just doesn't care.

[Emily B]

I actually think I like the first one better. No Conqueror Man to come in with lead. The ducks rule.

I like them both, though.