T w o

The both of you

arouse in me,

hot blood,

primitive gallantry;

 

a cold-minded killer

who left mercy in his other jacket

 

pistons through your attackers,

 

slaying in a dizzying

dust cloud

of violence.

 

 

Principles

on which I’ve criticised

grief-stricken parents

and ignorant

 

paranoia,

magnetise and zap

my brain

 

until all that remains

is the pumping

 

of limbic strength and fatal fists.

 

------------------------------------------

 

There are a few

I would die for

without question

 

hopefully people

I would die for

without introduction

 

but only

t w o

would I kill for

without hesitation.

 

Author's Note

My girlfriend and my gran.

Reviews

[V]

We don't like to see those that we love come to any harm what-so-ever. This is a powerful, emotional poem which touches on that raw essence that is inside, that maybe we wouldn't usually show anyone. I like how you divided the poem into two. Nice work.
V.

[Hedra Helix]

ahh man, good even back in the day. I'll kick myself just one more time...ok, im over it;)

ok, so you're a guy. Ahh...

what I like about you (as a writer) over all is that your voice is clear & in control, you move through the pieces i've read so far with ease. you can handle the sharp and the soft thoughts with turning phrases and there isnt any drag. I get a sense of looking forward to clicking on new works without that heavyness of wondering if it will be boring or mishandled. your confidence and ability give me comfort and excitement.

which of course bodes well for ideas of doing longer works, we're always looking for a sense of comfort from books whatever subject they're on, we want to be enveloped, feel enshrouded in care or intrigue or shock and at this early junction that's what I get most from your work. I have the urge to open it and jump w/o fear of dulling my day,

which is awesome.

btw, I guessed wife and child;)

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Short Review:

"The both of you
arouse in me,
hot blood,
primitive gallantry;"

Aw, that's sweet! I have to get back into your work not that it has returned from the dead. But, I am late for a date with my teddy bear at this moment. :) That one has yet to let me down.

Wonderful write!

-Gabe

[O!]

I see where the real emotion is (anger) the poem is abstract, but then when anger subsides i see a decision which is said loud and clear without beating about the bush!

x,
O!

[Matthew Cremeans]

I enjoyed this thoroughly. I would no doubt kill for my grandmother too : ) i love how personal this piece is and its straight from the heart. Great write!

[Damien Dsoul]

Deadly emotional, the coldness which persists through the length and breath of this poem is like the smoke rising off a steaming pot. And yet the poem feels a bit unfinished. Who would the 'two' be symbolically referred to?

[F. Nazarov]

And me too right???? I'm just kidding =]. I wouldn't want anyone to kill for me, a little extreme don't you think?
Extremes are a good thing though, so don't take it the wrong way. I really like how you expressed your feelings, talk about greatness.

a cold-minded killer
who left mercy in his other jacket

That was my favorite part. I'm a chicken saying Hi to people sometimes costs me, but I suppose every has thier "Mastermind Killer" days.

[Solst Rapture]

I appreciate that.

It is an admirable and assured position.

Your constructions tower over me, but inspire.

[Wulfstan Crumble]

It is impressive that you can say the last thing for two people. That is a commitment and a half. But, let's hope that you never have to kill for them. Killing in defence of someone is one thing but killing for them is another. The first half is a bit abstract but it leads in to the second part nicely. The second part focusses the first.
I think you may need some commas or full stops on some of the single lines in the first half to set the rhythm up more.

[Anthony Morningstar]

Don't understand the first part. But the second part is easier for me to relate to. In way reminds of some golden rule that we should try to get to.