THE PEDESTAL

drops a level with each human downfall;

legendary storeys proven deceptive,

for we all enter and exit on a dirt floor

scattered with inconsistencies and betrayal.

 

I raise a sledgehammer

and take rare delight

in destructive method;

 

the interesting tinkle

as discarded idols shatter.

 

Author's Note

Title should kind of be read as the first line.- is that clear enough when reading it?
let me know what you think of this. Thanks.

NB:
American spelling for plural levels of a building = stories.
English spelling for plural levels of a building = storeys.

It's a play on words - both book-stories and building-storeys - so I used the one that indicates building levels to better differentiate, to make it more clear. I guess it's only gonna work in Britain...lol.

Reviews

[Emily B]

THE PEDESTAL

drops a level with each human downfall; [I really like the idea/image here it is both unique and Universal]

legendary storeys proven deceptive, [should it be stories--I'm not sure if this is one of those words that's different between our countries]

for we all enter and exit on a dirt floor [excellent image, some like to think they are born of better circumstances, but dust thou art to dust returnest, or whatever that reference is. . .]

scattered with inconsistencies and betrayal. [strife is inherent in our life spans this really works with the line before]

I raise a sledgehammer

and take rare delight

in destructive method,

the interesting tinkle [I can't imagine a sledge hammer causing a tinkle. . . I'm trying to think of other words that would work in its stead . . . clangor, jangle, clatter, clamor, crash, breakdown, wreck, fracture, fragment, smash, etc.]

as discarded idols shatter. [and to my notion, the discarded idols should shatter, that which we no longer believe should not be sent out to a re-sale shop, it should implode/explode as the situation should warrant]

Excellent, thought-provoking write. I loved it!

[Travis Lawrence]

Good stuff, like in Notes From Underground when he claims that man loves destruction as much as creation. That's what I took away from this, anyway. Love the dirt floor metaphor. One spelling error, "storeys" should be "stories", unless you spelled it wrong on purpose.

-Travis

[Spoken]

The pedestal
drops a level with each human downfall;
legendary storeys proven deceptive,
for we all enter and exit on a dirt floor

great lines. I especially like the last line. pedestals are meaningless.. we are all on the same level from birth to death. I love the message! Great piece.

[Bubo]

for we all enter and exit on a dirt floor
scattered with inconsistencies and betrayal.

Oh how true!Loved the way you have written this, strong and defiant, if only we could all have the strength to lift that sledgehammer and smash those we consider idols. Loved the idea that we all enter and exit the same, even idols depart the same way!

[Brette Medb]

So true... the sentiment was great and it went along perfectly with the imagery. Idols are false since they cannot be perfect, no one is perfect thus it brings us down trying to imitate them. Great write.


brette

[Anthony Morningstar]

Makes me thinking of digging in a way. I don't really do that well because I'm not a D.J. or turntablelist. But the way you've got these people that are at the height of there carrers and then a few years latter there just in someone record collection. As opposed to the pop idle stuff most bands start out on the road and most bands end on the road. Trying to get a record deal, deal happens and they are on top and then they wane and back on the road doing their act.

And at the same time it makes me think of art. The way a little boy will hold some artist to very high content. And when they get to a point all that they want is an eraser to get rid of the paintings in the hall. The last generation had there time in the sun and now it's our turn. F**k I can do better then can.


In both there is something to that to have to kill your idles to kill your gods so we can move forward. It's fun to be in that smashing mood. Although reading it though one more time it seems it might not have been writen to encourage destruction though. Funny how info gets taken in for me and pass through the house of mirrors of my nerons. I'm just courious now which way did you mean?

[Raef C. Boylan]

"storeys" = play on words - different levels, like storeys of a building, and also 'stories'.