Life Sentence

They gave me life.

I’m looking at a stretch

of another forty years.

Sixty, if I display

good behaviour.

Could be eighty,

if I pack in the cigs

and find out some veteran secrets.

 

I run a hand idly along the bars.

 

They reverberate with memories

ghosts rattling chains

on leather adorned with locks that

Snap Crackle Pop

soggy cereal

is what wet leaves felt like underfoot

on the way to school

shoe shopping before air conditioning

was a widespread notion.

Do the locomotion with me.

Falling asleep at Discos

crisp packets sparkled magically

unlike flat rabbits disappearing at parties

where you were supposed to join in

 

and this could go on forever

because art galleries have no limits

when you’re the lone spectator.

Meandering

pondering

nonsensical pretension

masquerading as spontaneous intellect.

 

There are more ways to die than live

if you’re inventive.

Each day probably spawns another

new batch; galloping abreast technology

towards the black ribbon finish.

 

Slit wrists

Shark attack

Poisoning

Plane crash

Assassination

Stray bullet

Strangulation

O.D on tablets

Suffocation

Natural disaster

Lethal injection

Suicide bomber

Starvation

Gun misfire

Alien invasion

Stuck in freezer

Unattended infection

Collapsed tower

Electrocution

All types of cancer

Decapitation

Wrong answer

 

 

They gave me life.

I had no say in the matter.

 

Now I’m contemplating good behaviour.

 

Author's Note

This doesn't work as well as I'd like it to - any suggestions? Thanks.

Reviews

[lostintheworld]

so it's the sentence you think
that inspired the will to live
cuase that just doenst work for me in my head

cuase after she says that, she mentions good behavior
which lends us to assume she might be wanting out now

so are you sugessting murder gets her put in (and suicide like killing an alter ego or voice) and then she wants to be out cuase now she's free of those voices?

[Lauren Stegg]

Now, I think it's only fair I review a poem of yours. This already has a lot of reviews, so granted maybe it isn't the best choice. But the title drew me in and I had to read it. Now that I've read it, I have to review it.

Damn, dude I like this. I have nothing to critique about the content, as I think the concept is quite intriguing. My favorite stanza:
There are more ways to die than live
if you�re inventive.
Each day probably spawns another
new batch; galloping abreast technology
towards the black ribbon finish.

Ahhh, very clever lines in there, especially the ending. Nice death list too.

[Ilene M.W. Lush]

wow...this is a great crafted poetic rant.

evoca this...it should be heard. i love the pop references (and the snap and crackles ones too)

'do the loco-motion with me'
heh, yea lets all get loco some momentum going...

i really enjoyed this piece. i wouldnt change it.
i

[Roxanne]

Ok, never mind what I said before about transitions. That was just the lack of sleep talking. it's quite brilliantly put together; and please ignore how bipolar of me it is to say that ^^'
I'm loving the images you choose and the idea that life is a sentence worse than death. Over all grand job

[eli mercuree rue]

ohh this guy where nothing is sacred would love this peice i have to send a read request

hmmm

now i ponder

pack in the cigs
[a def. killer]
to learn the secrets of the world held by old and dead people
interestin
i mean
isnt that
like saying ima give it a shot and hope they die first so i dont look bad..?

[eli mercuree rue]

if you change this to make people happy i
will wish you a happy birthday and we dont want that now do we
i say
keep it as is
maybe
laugh at some of my earlier suggestions
and
tell yo girlfriend
who is cold
right now to put on some clothes
your birthday was like 6 days ago

[eli mercuree rue]

is that an alter ego speaking
how rare
and very usual with leos

black ribbon finish
i get race
breathing
lungs
black
full
of f****n
tar
boylan do you smoke..?

[CED]

wow
this is an interesting set of reviews

nice poem

[eli mercuree rue]

she talks about packets in project coventry the new one
packets in corners which reminds me of her city being over taken by rats



what do you think about this contemplating good behavior
bit

i mean

wouldnt that mean submitting
to everyone elses
rules
i mean
i dont get it
i thought she was all liberated
d****t f**k right when i think ive got her figured out i re read s**t
haha


it s like
whoevers forcing her to live
is someone she cares for cause shes willin to be good by them

[eli mercuree rue]

i was thinking like wrong answer
cause
ummmmm
drug deal
gone bad
or gambling her life aways on a basket ball game
but i think she is smarter than that

[eli mercuree rue]

id jumble it like slit .. shark wrist attack>>
haha

cause
its crazi
to make alist
so nonchalant
i dont read fast
so i like it slow

boylan talk to us