The Stages of a Worldly Relationship

This scenario is based upon a couple who have had no children, and who do not have a solid foundation rooted in Christian faith to act as the means for holding the relationship together as God would have it. This is the most common type of relationship today. In fact, most professing Christians compromise their values at some point in a relationship, such as sex before marriage, which brings a curse with it because it is sin, and goes against the commandments of God. If a relationship is compromised in this fashion, it is under a curse and will not survive because it is not blessed by God. Nothing that starts out wrong can ever end up right!

 

Stage One: The Idealisation Phase. They meet, they go on a few dates, start calling each other on the phone, etc. During this phase, they’re getting to know each other and the attraction is mostly based in the physical. Each party is looking for things they have in common that are positive, so they have a basis for the mutual attraction to continue on to the next level. At this stage, if either party reveals too much baggage from their past, it will snuff the beginning flames out like a wet blanket.

 

Stage Two: The Consummation Phase. Physical contact occurs, such as kissing, and maybe even sex. During this phase, they become lost in the fantasy of each other, idealizing the relationship and only focusing on the good, and ignoring the bad, not wanting to give up the good and ‘high’ feelings that they are getting from each other from being together. If this phase lasts a long time, they two may decide to marry or to live together for a more long-term, committed relationship. (NOTE: The true Christian couple will not have sexual relations until marriage. The reason why sex should not happen until after marriage (which would be the true stage three) is because it creates a spiritual bond that is difficult to be broken. In contrast to a carnal relationship, a Christ-centered relationship would have different phases that would foster the positive for much longer periods without wearing out all the good things before their time!) In worldly relationship that is outlined here (the most common), the sexual relationship is dominant and nothing else matters.

 

Stage Three: The Reality Phase. After a few months, the relationship begins to cool down because they have probably latched into ‘routine’. Sex dies down slowly, even if the couple have not had children. (If the couple has children, it’s a whole different ball game. But for my opinion, let’s assume this couple has no children together.) It is during this phase that the arguing begins, if it hasn’t already. Each begins to notice things in the other that they don’t like and their fairytale relationship image begins to crumble.

 

Stage Four: The Compensation Phase. Frustrated from the events at the end of stage three, the couple begins to pursue other interests to compensate for things lacking in their relationship, such as working extra hours, taking up a hobby that does not involve their spouse, spending more time away from the home, and/or out with friends. If substance abuse has been a problem, this also escalates and can begin a series of rows between the couple and even physical or emotional abuse. During this phase is when either or both parties have affairs. The trust is shattered at some point during this phase, leading to the final stage five.

 

Stage Five: The death of the relationship. One or both of the parties does something so heinous it puts and end to the relationship. The trust is gone. There is no more relationship. Or one or both of the parties decides to call it quits or asks for a divorce. In an abusive relationship, the stages may repeat themselves all over again for many years, but for lesser duration each time.

Author's Note

I'll be editing this as time goes on.