Muses Run Wild

Muses Run Wild

A Poem by RachelleB

Yes, thank God I still

have a sense of humor;

a pin-prick through ridiculous

and wrung out in dry sarcasm.

 

Laughing to myself

at my own thoughts,

witty and itching

to be put right down

 

on some piece of paper,

quick and not reluctant.

Sort of like a trance;

go where it leads,

write what they said

 

a long time ago

or maybe it was up ahead

bouncing around my weary head

 

too fast before a thought,

then out through this quivering hand;

nothing that I’d normally seek.

Must only be the Muses

playing hide and seek.

 

My lamp light blows out,

suddenly here

and suddenly now

as I scribble this vow.

 

This confirms sincere intention

of their divine intervention.

 

 

 

© 2008 RachelleB


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Reviews

Hello Rachelle.
I really like this poem and some of the phrases are wonderful - referring to humour:
'a pin-prick through ridiculous
and wrung out in dry sarcasm.'
Wonderful description, and;
'Must only be the Muses
playing hide and seek.'
WOW!
I have always found your work to be profound and in this, the tradition lives on.
My one doubt about this concerns the arrangement of the breaks between the word groups (I won't call them verses or stanzas as they are not to an established format) I feel the breaks don't come in logical places and that it would be better to follow the meaning than to count lines. These are my very subjective comments - You may have very good, subtle reasons for breaking where you do; in which case, forgive me.
v1 is fine - 4 lines
v2 Perhaps 6 lines: 'Laughing to' to 'not reluctant'.
v3 4 lines: 'Sort of' to 'time ago'.
v4 5 lines: 'or maybe' to 'normally seek'
v6 2 lines: 'Must only' to 'and seek'. I know it sounds strange to drop to just 2 lines but the profundity of those two lines needs to stand alone for emphasis.
v7 4 lines: 'My lamp' to 'this vow'
v8 2lines: again, these lines stand alone again as a summing up - rather like the last couplet in a sonnet. A little re-arrangement of punctuation would be called for.

So! - I hope I have not blotted my copy book. I don't suggest you alter anything - just that you think it through and see if it makes sense,
Kind regards,
JohnB




Posted 16 Years Ago


I adore this poem. It resonated with me so well.

The lines:

"on some piece of paper,
quick and not reluctant.
Sort of like a trance;
go where it leads,
write what they said"

really describe my experience with writing, my lack of control. The closing lines

This confirms sincere intention
of their divine intervention.

sums it up so beautifully! A wonderful write that I truly enjoyed!

Posted 16 Years Ago


I think it was Jerry Reed that sang "When You're Hot You're Hot". Could be the muse within you or just a breeze passing by. This has a good flow and makes me think you enjoyed writing it. Poetry is like life, too much saddness...thanks for a fun read. I like the way you play with words and rhyme.

Posted 16 Years Ago



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Added on May 29, 2008
Last Updated on November 7, 2008

Author

RachelleB
RachelleB

freehold, NJ



About
I have been writing on and off all my life and have been published in small literary journals....Been a while since I've been at this site, but I just decided to stop by and post, update my profile a .. more..

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