A lost Dream

A poem about dreams

This dream I once called paradise,

Has lost its inner grace,

Its sparkling heart used to entice,

But this dream is a disgrace,

Its heart has now turned to ice,

To lose all beauty in one place,

Was it chance that rolled the dice,

That lost all hope and faith,

The memory as thin as lace,

Lost what once made it whole,

Bring back its lost soul,

And that we could control.

Reviews

[Skylar Valentine]

You have a really strong grasp of rhyme. I loved the poem over all. The vocabulary, and the idea of a dream that might perhaps be life itself. Open to interpretation. I do think you should make use of periods. There are visual stanzas in this thanks to your rhyming scheme. abab
Though this does change at the end. Also the last two lines, I couldn't really connect to them, understand what you are trying to show with them. I've read it over 3 times and I'm still unsure. Mostly because I don't know what part of this "dream" you could control I guess. But that's just me. Over all, very good piece.

[Luna Lucretia Lawson]

thank you for your comment, i will try to fix it, and the dream part i was referring to the ability to change a nightmare into a dream or a dream into a nightmare. My friend told me about when he has a nightmare he manipulates it and changes it into a dream so its not scary any more, so he can control what happens in the dream

[Truenobleman.]

Keen poetic expression, fine use of images and words.

[Luna Lucretia Lawson]

thank you. i am glad you liked it