I look to heaven now

A bit dark, i had a feeling loss of faith after my mum died

i looked to heaven now, the world burning in hell,

dreaming in another mind, hoping the sky clears,

i looked to heaven now praying to a lost god i didn't know,

watching the land engulfed in fire,

i looked to heaven now,

in desperation and in need,

watching the home i once lived fade in this dream,

these sour notes sing and my tears fall,

i looked to heaven as it changes,

no longer a beauty, no longer a paradise,

but poisoned like the rest,

i looked to heaven now,

darker than my home before, 

hell has taken all, and the sea boils as lava flows,

demons run the world i longed to escape,

i no longer look to heaven now,

lost in my own nightmare, heaven cannot help me now,

the air as toxic as the lies of heaven bring,

i no longer look to heaven, no longer do i trust my mind, no longer shall i follow the lies nor trust my eyes

Reviews

[DaughterNature]

I can certainly sympathize -- my dad died when I was 10 (that was 14 years ago now, and it's still hard). I like the repetition here, you are halfway to a litany style poem if you rearrange the way your lines are organized. However, I hope as you work to revise this that you will take a hard look at your language choices. While it feels very easy to use images like fire, hell, poison/toxicity, heaven, paradise, tears, cloudy/clear sky, dreams/nightmares, desperation, demons, ocean, and lava, these are all HEAVILY overused in established poetry (and most definitely in "teen angst" poetry). If you want to be recognized as a good writer and have a chance at publication, you need to create fresh, new, interesting, and gripping images with your language so people remember your poem as being different from the cannon.

[Truenobleman.]

Never easy too lose one's mom, very well expressed dark poetry themed. Best Regards.