Flowers in my lungs

It was a little like taking a puff of a cigarette,

The few times I’d given it a try.

My lungs inflated and my head spun,

Something slipping inside me, making room for itself where there hadn't been any before.

It stretched and spread out,

Lazy warmth slipping through my veins.

There was a sense of discomfort, distant burning muscles being used for the first time in too long.

You made flowers grow in my lungs and although they were beautiful,

I couldn’t f*****g breathe.

Reviews

[Briana O'Connor]

So do I just have a dirty mind or is it safe to assume that this poem is about either losing your virginity or a first time with oral sex? Either way this is very beautifully written. The metaphors create great imagery and emotional impact.(of coarse my dirty mind might have the wrong imagery) My only suggestion is that this may be a piece that should be rated as at least teen because of the use of cursing. I'm not sure how strict the moderators are because I'm really new to the sight, but that's not a critique at all, just a thought. I thought your piece was brilliant! Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work! If it's not too much trouble could you return the favor by reviewing one of my pieces?

[Rachael]

You could interpret this piece in any way you like, I guess. Thank you, I am glad you liked it and yes, of course I can review some of your work as well (:

[Briana O'Connor]

What is this piece about if you don't mind me asking (sorry if i offended you with my dirty mind)

[Rachael]

Originally I was going to start this with 'She touched her lips against mine, Barely a flutter of delicate wings, But then she kissed me, firm pressure, knocking the air straight out of me' but I decided against it. I didn't think of it being about losing your virginity but now you have suggested that i quite like that idea (you didn't offend me, don't worry)

[Briana O'Connor]

lol I like that. You have a great talent with words.

[Rachael]

Thank you so much.