I should have been better

I should have done better

I just didn’t know how

I’m sorry my face isn’t as pretty as hers

And that my waist is too thick

I’ve been working on it since you left

The shelves of my ribcage are showing these days

I’m sorry the planes of my thighs are covered with scars

I know how hard it must have been

For you to block out all the pain, all the proof of the person

Lying underneath the skin you caressed with lying fingers

 

I feel I should be taking the time

To write something sweet and kind

But there is nothing sweet to say about you my darling

You loved me, but only when you could pretend I was someone else

Tell me, did you ever change my name on your phone to hers?

Did her name ever linger on your lips before mine rose to the surface?

Was that the shame I felt when they were pressed up against mine?

 

You shouldn’t be so proud

Of who you are and what you’ve done

You complain the world is broken, and then you rip out all my stitches

Don’t you dare tell me not to bleed, that you’re so strong, and I’m too weak

And don’t you f*****g dare touch me again, your poison touch against my acid skin

Will set my eyes on fire, while my insides try their best, to put it out