My Big Fat Gypsy Weddin'

The night before is a girl’s night in

Partly so the lads know where we’ve been

It’s the most exciting time of my life!

When I finally become a Mrs, a wife.

So an early night it is for all

Got a 5-in-the-morning wake-up call.

Don’t want my eyes to feel like they got lead in

Cos tomorrow’s the day of My Big Fat Gypsy Weddin’!

 

At 5am the c**k starts to crow,

I jump out of bed - it’s on with the show!

Hair, nails, make-up, tan,

All of this to impress my man.

The phone rings and my Aunty answers,

“The Venue!” she crys, “He’s cancelled! The b*****d!”

As a scene unfolds quite like Armageddin

It doesn’t look good for My Big Fat Gypsy Weddin’!

 

My dress is HUGE, cost fifteen grand!

Took three dressers to dress me, and Ma lent a hand.

I’ve tried so hard to get everything right

For the church in the day and the party tonight.

My train reaches out about 20 feet,

With the crystalised veil, I’m now complete.

I look at my Ma and the tears she’s sheddin’

This is the day, My Big Fat Gypsy Weddin’!

 

Dressed so glam, it’s time to leave

Last minute adjustments to my left sleeve,

My uncle calls to see what’s goin on,

“F**k ‘em” he says, “they won’t spoil our fun!

You’d better hurry or you’re gonna be late!”

Pa turns to me, “Your chariot awaits.”

Unsure if me AND the dress will get in…

All done, we’re off to My Big Fat Gypsy Weddin’!

 

The service goes as well as can be

I’m now a wife, therefore I’m ‘appy.

And even though we have no venue,

There’s still fun to be had on the Travellers Menu.

We’ve 5,000 guests with nowhere to go

“We’ll make our own way to the park don’t cha know?”

When the 5-O land to do our head in

It’ll be a good end to My Big Fat Gypsy Weddin’!