WOMEN ONLY

It may be a man's world, but it's the women who make it so.

It was supposed to be easier. That's what the fight, the struggle was all about, wasn't it? Why wasn't it easier? I walked along the corridor looking for the ladies room. I was tremendously anxious to just get in there, get away from all of this around me. 

Finally, I found the door marked WOMEN ONLY and I entered. Thank goodness it was vacant. I hoped it stayed that way the entire time I was in there. I looked at myself in the mirror. Where had all that determination and confidence gone? Why was it so different now? 

I set my purse on the basin and opened it. I shuffled around a bit until I found the packet with the capsules. I opened wide to swallow two of the pills, then pulled out the half-empty bottled water. Concluding was done with a deep breath.  

I entered a stall and locked the door behind me. I didn't need to relieve myself, but I had to sit and just think. People nowadays had no means for being able to sit and think anymore, in total obscurity, without having to be interrupted by outside inquiries.

Of course, as soon as I settled, the first thing I wanted to do was call Marty. I pulled out my phone and started dialing. I listened to the rings, then the phone was answered, followed by Marty saying, hello? 

"It's me," I started. "Yes, I'm at the meeting, or, well, I'm in the ladies room. I just had to get somewhere quiet. Yea. Well, . . . . well you know she's impossible. I know that. I know. Anna Ravenstock has always thought she was the center of the universe. Wait." 

I peaked through the gap on the door to make sure the restroom was still empty. 

"Okay. Didn't think I heard someone, but wanted to make sure. There's no one else in here. Okay, . . . well you know she is. If she isn't hitting on me, then she's berating everything about me, what I wear, my relationships, yes, even you." 

I looked up the walls of the stall. 

"I just want to get away from everything out there, away from everybody. No, . . . no, I'll see the deal through, and whatever she decides, well, that'll be Anna's decision. Uh-huh. Like making a pact with the devil. Allright. Allright. You, too. Bye."

Life seemed so different now.  

I didn't want to go back out there. I stood up, straightened my skirt, then unlocked the door and walked out of the stall. I stood in front of the mirror again, looking at myself once more. I wanted to be the strong career woman and here I was. I didn't want to fight anymore. I didn't want to prove myself as a woman, able to do what any man can do. What happened to my ambition? What happened to my drive? Was I experiencing why men behave the way they do? No, I mustn't think that. I pulled out my hairbrush and ran it across my hair a couple of times. I didn't dare put on any more lipstick. That woman would think I did it for her. I took a deep breath, arranged the waist on my skirt and walked toward the exit. 

I can do this, I thought as I headed down the short distance to the corner to turn and reach the door. I thought to myself, I am very capable, holding my head back, chin up. I'd show Ravenstock who I really was. My heels clicked on the tiled floor as I made my way toward the exit. Still my mind was filled with determination to take on Anna Ravenstock. After all, she started as a young woman my age once too, possibly younger. I made the next turn to reach the door and depart and I stopped. 

It was more hallway. Short, few steps, but another walking distance to another corner, wall and floor covered in the same pale blue tile. I looked down the way I came. Same setup; blue tiles, wall and floor. I looked before me again. I started walking and reached the corner to find yet another short distance, perhaps nine or ten feet, reaching yet another corner. I stepped back as I had come a few steps, then turned back forward once more. 

When did I take a wrong turn. I looked back from where I started, then back where the exit door should be. I walked confidently the distance to the corner, turned at said corner, and was face-to-face with another walkway. 

I continued to walk, as tho it all was the same as when I entered. Another corner, another turn. Corner, turn. I moved faster. So did the appearances of the corners. 

Finally I stopped. I must have done something wrong somewhere. I was distraught and didn't head the same way I had came in. I began back-tracking, to get back to the sink and stalls, then I'd check to see how I became distorted and obviously walked down a maintenance area. They should really label these areas better, a sign reading employees only. I'll have to make a suggestion to the business when I get the chance. Maybe sometime tomorrow, when this day is finally over is when I'll do it. I stopped again and looked both ways, like a child at a street corner.. 

I've gone color-blind, I thought to myself and everything looks like the blue tile. I must still be trapped in the stall. Yes, that must be it. Like a blind person, I reached out to try to find the lock. I'm not seeing anything correctly. The lock to let me out of the stall must be here somewhere and it all just looks like blue tile. I pawed along the walls, trying to find something different like the simple lock you twist and open. Then I could get out. 

But I wasn't finding the stalls. Because I'm still locked in that one I was in. And everything looks like the pale blue tiling. This strong, independent businesswoman couldn't even find her way out of the ladies restroom. I took off walking with confidence, self-assurance, as if I knew where I was going. That's what was wrong. I was doubting my capabilities. I had to believe in myself, that I could do this. 

I was walking in circles. I must be. I was ready to scream for help, then thought how would that look, to men and women, that this lady couldn't find her way out of the ladies restroom. I knew I was just walking in circles, over and over. 

That was when I stopped and realized something. I hurried into my purse and pulled out the lipstick. I made a mark on the wall, then proceeded down to the corner and turned. Once again, I put a glossy red mark on the wall and followed through again. In my head, I counted the marks, just to get some idea of how far I was going. I counted thirty, still finding blank wall areas after turning corners. Always on the right side. I gave a hint at attempting something else, but proceeded. Not yet, I thought to myself. 

Forty. Fifty. I made the fifty-first mark and raced back to the previous corner, rounding it to view the wall and see if the fiftieth mark was still there. 

It was still there. I wasn't walking in circles. Somehow I was venturing further and further down this endless corrider of corners. I wasn't sure what was going on, so I continued. With each corner, I followed it with a mark. With each mark, I approached the next corner. 

After the eighty-sixth mark, I hurried back once more as if I just might catch someone cleaning a previous impression from the wall. I would find no one but the identification I had left earlier. I raced back to the eighty-fourth, eighty-third, eighty-second. They were all still there, completely undisturbed. 

I wanted to cry in frustration, then contemplated, once again, no man would behave in such a manner. I proceeded on with the lipstick marks. Same panel, Corner, panel, lipstick. Over and over. 

I was out of lipstick. I had twisted the tube until no more color would emerge and I was barely applying a shade on the tile. I leaned against the wall and opened my purse to drop the empty tube back within. As I glanced within my bag, I saw my eyeliner. I can use that now, I thought, then I stood and slumped. I looked up toward the paneled lights. Was I supposed to try to break through the ceiling? I had nothing to stand on and now my feet were hurting so badly. I exhaled, as I heard voices. 

I walked in the direction of the voices. Truth be told after this, I had no idea what to expect. They sounded like men. I drew closer. 

I stepped in view of the voices with their seeing me as soon as I saw them. They appeared to be women. 

"Well, it's about time," the rather flamboyant person stated in a rather loud manner. First thing I noticed was virtually nothing she was wearing matched. It was all an absolute eyesore. She continued on. 

"I don't know what kind of game you think you are playing here, Miss Thang, but I'm fed up with walking around in here." 

Then the second person spoke. 

"Rest assured, I will definitely be contacting my lawyer about this," the person said. "I do not appreciate having my valuable time wasted in this manner," with eyes glaring directly at me. 

"If I'm going to spend this much time in a restroom, it better be the men's room," the first figure said, giving way to a deep throaty laugh. 

"I want the name of your lawyer," the smaller one said, very sternly. "You will be getting sued and I will own you." 

I stared at both of them and could tell pronouns were crucial in their recognition and regardless of their appearances, masculinity had been a factor in their personal history, one way or the other. I finally managed to speak. 

"I can't find my way out of here, either," I said, unable to shake the feeling I was in a Broadway show. 

"Well, you better contact someone now and get me out of here," the little one said, approaching me. First thing I noted was the singular pronoun. There was no inclusion of the other character's fate.

"I don't know what's going on," I quickly stated as the diminutive one shoved his phone in my face to record me. I slapped his hand away, sending the phone across the floor. 

"Oh, no, she didn't," the other person said. 

The little one's face drew up and he came at me, half-declaring, "you, . . don't . . do . . that, . . " as if he was now entitled to strike me. His open palm barely struck my arm. I quickly sent the opposite hand back at him, striking him very hard upside his head. 

"Oh, no, girl," the other one started, "it's on now," and moved in. I gave a kick at the sequined form, then lashed out again at the small one to keep him in line. I was fairly certain in my mind I was using all the incorrect grammar toward this pair, but that wasn't priority in my life right now. 

The larger one came at me again, and I reached up to grab the platinum blue hair, which I now detected was a wig. I gave it a tug to direct the figure into the little one, sending them both to the floor. 

"Just you wait," one of them declared, and I didn't see where it mattered which one, "we're going to have you up on hate charges!" 

I fled from them, somehow instinctively knowing to yell back, "if you two aren't going to help me find a way out of here, who needs you?" 

It seemed to be the only way I could hopefully get across to them I wasn't responsible for this. I raced away from them as fast as I could, which just resulted in endless hallways and tiles, over and over, never even seeing the lipstick on the wall again. Why was this happening? 

Finally, I stopped. I was exhausted. The only two persons I had seen so far in here wanted to play victims in this uncertainty instead of looking for assistance. I retrieved the bottled water out of my purse and took another gulp. How long would I be in here. What must Ravenstock think? 

"Sorry I was late getting back. I couldn't find my way out of the ladies room!" 

Awful. 

Slowly I began walking again, now completely and totally fatigued. With no other option, I just walked, slowly, steadily. Round the corner. 

Again with the small stretch of hall. Nothing else to do, I proceeded onward, until I heard voices again. 

I listened speculatively, then realized it was those two people again. I stood still and in no time, they emerged in front of me. I stood ready to defend myself, if need be. 

The larger one put up her hands and stopped. 

"Wait," she said, "we need your help." 

The little one all but scowled, "we can help each other," obviously to imply I needed them if they needed me. 

"Hom, be quiet," the other figure said. 

"She cracked my phone," this person called Hom said, holding up the phone with the jagged line running across it, his eyes wide open as if that was all that mattered. 

"Hom! Put that away," the other one instructed. She then turned to me and with a very distinctive expression covered in makeup, pleaded with me. 

"Please, help us," she said. "Hom will behave themselves." 

Silence, then I replied, "allright."

I looked beyond the two of them, then back the way I came. 

"Well, I started, "if you two caught up with me after I ran from you coming this way, then somewhere everything did circle back around. Just have to figure out where." 

"They always think they are so profound when they say something," Hom mumbled. I didn't even get a chance to give "them" a disapproving look. 

"Hom, stop!" the other figure declared, then introduced herself, "I'm Nikki La Tesla," she said, reaching out to me. 

"Really?" I responded, shaking her hand in a greeting. Once again, Hom shot daggers toward me. 

"I'm  Amelia," I said, then continued, "so, um, Nikki, Hom. Can we find our way out of here now?" 

"Please," Nikki begged.  Hom said nothing. 

"Well, if we go back the way I came, unless we try a different direction, but now everything is reversed and I may not be able to recall when I turned left and when I turned right," I stated, then inquired, "do either of you have any idea what is going on?" 

"Not a clue," Nikki answered. We just began taking steps, slowly and almost nonchalantly. It just seemed different to have someone else to walk with, no matter who they were. 

"How long have you been in here?" I asked aloud. 

"A few minutes," Nikki answered. I wondered why whichever of us was in here first, she hadn't seen the other one right off. 

"What about you?" I asked of Hom, turning to face them. 

They weren't there. 

Nikki and I both looked down the plain hallway that was now empty. 

"Where would they have gone?" I asked Nikki. 

"I don't know," Nikki replied. "They were ticked off about you breaking their phone like that." 

I stood very still, then Niki looked back down the hallway and proceeded to go in the direction Hom must have taken. 

"Hom! Hom!" she cried out as she vanished around that ever-loving corner. 

"Nikki," I yelled. "Nikki, don't, . . . " but I only heard those hells slowly fading in the distance. 

I didn't dare move. After all this time, why was the thought just now crossing my mind. Why hadn't they thought of it?

Slowly I opened my purse and reached in to remove the phone. Whatever hesitation I had before was gone, obviously, after meeting those two characters. I had to get out of this maze. I turned the phone on and looked at the screen. Who would I call? Call Marty again, I thought. I entered the number. 

Marty was coming to get me. 

Marty thinks I'm a nut, I deduced. Well, I'm sure I sounded like a nut, unable to escape the ladies restroom when I'm wanting to be seen as an equal in a man's world. I dialed up management of the establishment and told them I couldn't escape from the ladies room. I was walking with great strides, pausing, casual, then moving again, as I spoke to them. Guess I should have done this sooner. Now it all just didn't seem to matter. Ravenstock didn't matter. None of this mattered. 

I quickly rounded the corner, expecting more blue tile, and came face-to-face with a staff member on the phone, holding the door open. Behind her stood Anna Ravenstock. 

"Amelia, honey," Anna began, "what happened, dear?" she asked, half feigning concern and all-obviously condescending. 

I looked at her and took a deep breath. I stepped out of the ladies room. The staff person let the door close behind me. 

"She's out," the employee said over the phone. "She appears to be okay." 

"Appears," I said to the worker, then continued, "I am okay, but I have just had a trying ordeal and I intend to go home." 

"Ma'm," the worker started, "management would like to know, . . . "

In interrupted her. 

"It can keep," I said curtly. 

I looked to Anna. 

"Mrs. Ravenstock," I stated, giving a pause, and simply said, "good day." 

"Amelia! Amelia!" Anna called, but I didn't stop. I was leaving. I had enough. 

"Well, I guess I will have to re-evaluate who I do business with. Conduct like this will most assuredly, . . . " she continued, speaking to who I didn't know and didn't care. I exited the building. 

I stood in the cool darkness and saw Marty's familiar car approach. The vehicle slowly paralleled with where I stood and I opened the passenger door and hurried in, closing the door behind me. 

"What happened, Amelia?" Marty asked. 

"Drive," I answered.

"Just drive."

We pulled away from the curb and the building. I stared into the blackness passing by, people standing on the sidewalk, going to the entrance or away from it. I hope they enjoyed their experience. 

How different they all looked, which made them all so similar. I saw a face lit up by a window light or something, the expression overly divulging from the makeup she sported, her dress sparkled with the sequins from illuminating reflections about her. 

"Nikki La Tesla," I said below my breath. Marty heard me. 

"What about him?"

Before I could answer, we had ventured a bit on, when I saw a small figure who also looked familiar, holding out one hand and pointing at the object in his palm with the other. Slowly we passed and I detected frustration and once again, cascading lights made the held object so visible, I could even detect the diagonal line going across the damaged screen. I looked at the person in question and in turn, Hom looked back at me, but as we moved away, I was unable to detect any recognition of me on their part. 

What had happened in that ladies room? I looked forward and once more, sought to retrieve that water bottle. As I pulled the bottle out, the container of medication likewise shook, making its own sound. 

Was that what did it? I didn't know. I thought they were just to help me calm down. Help me cope. 

Slowly we pulled out into the open road, making our way home in the brightly lit city beneath the dark sky overhead.