HUMIDITY

How humid is it outside? Excruciatingly? How humid can it get? How humid can it be?

As a tune so harmonious was suddenly detected by the subconscious; then the unfamilar melody seemed to  give way to a heavier, deeper tone, a humming, pulsating sound of undetectable origin. The noise began to shake the walls, it was intense. As he awoke and still detected the sound, he was slowly becoming aware it was not the decibels that were vibrating the room, it was something outside. He looked to the window to see a dark form, preventing any possible morning light from getting within. He watched as the object moved across the window, glass breaking, then the wall would crack as well. All the while the moaning alarm sounded. 

"Ladron! Ladron!" the woman screamed as she suddenly stumbled into the doorway. Small children huddled behind her. 

"Daddy!" they cried. 

Ladron was out of the bed half-awake, struggling to make his way to the door. He grabbed the woman by the arm as the huddled the children to them, the eldest seeming a pre-teen, bringing up the reae. 

"What is it?" Ladron asked. "Do you know?" 

As the group made their way down the hallway looking about them as they ventured on, still the deep cry could be heard coming from outside. 

"Ladron,"the woman said to him, "it's outside. It's outside!" 

"Dad, they're all out there," the eldest said. 

Ladron cast his eyes about to various windows to see shadows slowly cascading across the blinds or curtains. He motioned for the family to sit on the couch. 

"Ladron, .."

"Shadrae, just sit there and wait until I see this for myself. Jorrick, stay with your mother and the kids."

As they obeyed and sat, Ladron slowly stepped to the front door. He placed his hand on it first and it felt astonishingly warm, as if it was ready to burst in flame. Cautiously he reached for the doorknob and turned it quickly, as the doorknob was also extremely hot. Light from outside gradually poured in from a heavily illuminated neighborhood. 

"Ladron, . . . " 

He motioned her quiet as he stepped to the door to see the outside. From within the house he looked up to see a very large tailfin disappearing across the roof of the house. Ever so carefully, he opened the door to view what it might have been. As he did so he leaned beyond the storm door, but quickly pulled back. He reached up to just touch his forehead that had ventured outside. Unknowingly, he held the door opened to a very slight gap. By now, Shadrae and the kids had moved over to stand behind him. 

"What is it, Ladron?" she asked. 

Ladron wiped his hand across his forehead and pulled it back to see his palm was now very wet and shiny. 

"It's moisture," he said. "I prespired just by sticking my head, barely my forehead, out the front door." 

Ladron pulled the door shut as he realized half his body that stood closest to the door now seemed to be saturaded. His pajama bottoms and arm that held the door were drenched in water. He looked back outside as now fish came into view, moving through the sky. Another species moved across in the opposite direction, also flying high in the air. 

"Ladron!" Shadrea screamed as they watched a couple of swordfish move by. Shadrae had seized the two small ones and moved them back away from the door, but Jorrick stood with his father. 

"It's not a shark, Shadrae." 

"Yea, mom. It's a swordfish." 

"but why is it flying in the air?" she cried back. "Why are they all flying in the air?" 

"I have no idea," Ladron whispered. 

"We were watching bass or trout or something all morning," Jorrick said, "then we watched one of those big killer whalesharks, whatever its called, come down toward the house and it started making those whales sounds." 

Several porpoise darted by. 

Ladron watched some more, then spoke aloud. 

"It's bright, but the sun isn't shining," he started. "Why aren't they drying out in the air?"

"Dad," Jorrick said, "why are they flying?" 

Ladron ran his hand across the wet side of his pajama bottoms. He continued to observe the ever-moving marine life. 

"They're . . . ," he began, "they're not flying." 

He opened the door once more and stuck his arm out. He moved it around a bit and detected the accumulation taking place. He was bringing it back in when he also spied the shadow developing across the ground and an unmistakable shark lunged for his arm. Shadrae and the small children screamed. Ladron slammed the storm door as hurriedly as possible and while the rattling aluminum door seemed to startle the shark away, he slammed the inner door as well. 

"What is it, dad?" 

"My arm," Ladron stated. "My arm, that I stuck outside, is now soaked as well." 

"What does it mean?" Jorrick asked. 

Ladron looked at his son, then Shadrae. 

"Ladron?" Shadrae asked nervously. 

"It's humidity," he replied."Very heavy humidity." 

"But if it's humidity, that means it's hot," Jorrick responded. "Why aren't they roasting in the sky?" 

"That's what I want to know," Ladron answered. He peered through the small window on the door to see no shark flying nearby, so slowly he opened the door once more. Jorrick stayed with his father, no matter how much Shadrae tried summoning him with her. Ladron didn't open the storm door, but continued to observe all sorts of marine life floating high in the atmosphere. 

Jorrick stood behind his father and looked up as well, then spoke, "if the fish are able to swim about, . . . " 

He let his thought stray off, while Ladron looked up and about. As tho he hadn't heard Jorrick, he pointed in the distance and said, "look." 

There was seemingly the anser to Jorrick's query; an assortment of people were doing all they could to swim through the humid air. The people were close enough Ladron and Jorrick could detect their loud dialogue and laughter, but they seemed to give no regard to the beasts from the ocean depths now in their midst. 

One fellow continued waving his arms and kicking his feet as it seemed to take him higher, then he paused and simply hovered a bit, seemingly to take in the scenery. Suddenly there were screams as two people floating heneath him immediately struggled to return to the ground, but with great difficulty. Behind the highest person, closing in the distance, was an unmistakable shark. He turned to see the animal approaching him, then just as vainfully as the other two acquaintances, he fought to return to the ground. 

"Dad." 

Ladron stepped away from the door, moving Jorrick back as well. 

"Does that answer what you were going to ask, Jorrick? Can you go swimming out there" 

"What are we going to do, Ladron?" 

Ladron pushed the door slowly to, as if feeling the need to keep it slightly open, then moved the entire door shut. He turned to look at his family. 

"What are any of us going to do? We're just going to have to remain calm and see what is said of any of this. Is the electricity working? The computer? The tv?"

Checking online and turning on the tv, Ladron was really surprised to see a signal of sorts, but he wasn't curious about that at the moment. He listened to the commentator declare the marine life seemed to be covering much of the surface of the country. They were still trying to contact other countries. As everyone was realizing, it seemed to be the most excessive humidity, with moisture in the air and water in the oceans seemingly merging together and balancing, but while daylight still seemed to be visible, there was no heat from the sun, which really seemed shrouded by the dissipating, yet enveloping clouds. All forms of water seemed to be in the same state. 

"Oh, Ladron," Shadrae fretted, "what about the family? Your father?" 

Ladron stood and slowly walked to the front window. "Everybody just try to stay to the center of the house," he said, not really knowing why. He gradually opened the curtains to see much of the same scene, this time attempts at driving by other neighbors also received similar results. He watched as one vehicle sought to speed away to where he could not imagine, only to have an enthused hammerhead pursue the car. Ladron watched as another creature likewise decsended toward the front of the automobile, only to have his slowly waning view blocked by an eel. The animal seemed to turn to look at him and Ladron quickly dropped the curtains to conceal any view, yet he could hear the beast striking at the transparent glass behind the curtain, and striking hard. Without turning away, Ladron slowly backed from the curtain, motioning Shadrae and the kids to do the same. The eel continued to strike at the window, for whatever reason, as tho it was fascinated. The family made their way to the kitchen just as they heard a loud crack. Obviously the glass finally broke. Ladron watched peering from behind the kitchen door as further sounds of breaking could be heard, with broken shards falling to the floor. He heard one or two more destructive noises, then saw the curtain move, indicating the eel trying to peer through the hole, jutting back when it struck the curtain. Ladron watched one or two more prods by the eel, heard a hiss, followed by a second hiss, then detected the silhouette of the animal moving across the curtain. 

"Ladron, . . . " Shadrae began. 

He shushed her, then whispered, "the eel probably stuck himself or cut himself on the broken glass, so he's swimming away," yet when Ladron looked back, slowly the eel peered around the curtain and gradually made it's way into the living room. He took on an expression of uncertainty as suddenly this finned snake was levitating in his home like some ridiculous hover craft. The eel opened its mouth as it slowly circled the room. This was when Ladron noticed the red lines on his side. He had cut himself on the glass, but still managed to enter the room. Obviously. 

Ladron motioned Shadrae and the kids away from the door, indicating they mustn't make a noise. Crossing the kitchen with them, he opened a drawer and took out a large knife. He then motioned for Shadrae to get in the utility closet with the kids. With that done, he meekly made his way back to the door to see where the eel might be now. Just as he peered out, to see the glaring eye looking back at him not two feet away, the entire window gave way from the shark smelling the eel's blood.

The eel turned as if seeing the shark, but then circled back, opening it's mouth, then closing it again. The shark swam upward, crashing into whatever it chose; light fixtures, pictures on the wall. Ladron stared at the animal as it crossed in front of the kitchen, seemingly to pursue the injured eel, but giving Ladron a look at the jagged teeth within its mouth. As the shark circled in the air, the tail fin slapped against the door, throwing Ladron to the floor, the knife skittering across the floor. 

Ladron didn't bother waiting to see if the noise got the fish's attention. He lunged for the knife again as quickly as he could. He heard Shadrae sobbing in the closet. Why did she have to behave in such a manner, he thought to himself. He was waiting to see if the shark pushed its way through the door, as he slid across the floor to brace it with his foot. 

"Ladron," Shadrae called from the closet. 

He shushed her again. 

She called again. 

"Ladron." 

As he made his way closer to hold the door and stood to his feet, he turned to look at her peeking out the door. He mouthed a very annoyed, "what?" 

"Where's Jorrick?"

Ladron gave a confused look, then his expression changed to one of concern. How could Jorrick not be with Shadrae? 

"Hey!" 

Ladron turned to the door at the sound of the voice. As he pushed the door open to see what was going on and why that recognizable voice was in the wrong location, he saw the shark now motioning away from the hallway and the kitchen and heading back to the broken window. 

And outside the window stood Jorrick. 

Ladron looked at his son with absolute fear and concern. The shark seemed to swaying from the window, then Ladron observed as Jorrick brought up the pistol and fired into the great fish. 

In the closet, Shadrae screamed. 

"Jorrick!" Ladron cried out as the shark pulled away from the shot, rattling the wall in the process and now turned toward its only avenue to flee; back out the window where Jorrick stood. 

Ladron heard another shot as the shark plunged through the window, thrusting its tail fin back and forth. He stepped from the kitchen, the knife still in his hand as the animal vanished outside with no sign of Jorrick appearing at the window. Ladron made his way toward the opening. 

"Jorrick!" he cried. He looked out at the shark slowly making its way upward, red lines appearing to indicate where bullet wounds must be. But where was Jorrick? Ladron suspected the shark may have gotten him. He watched as other sharks were drawn to the wounded culprit and began to attack. From up in the air, blood and intestines rained down into the road and an adjacent yard, with screams from other observers being heard from neighboring houses. 

"Ladron!" 

Ladron turned to see what the scream was about, and once he saw Shadrae standing in the kitchen doorway, he also saw the injured eel, floating in the unnatural humidity as if it too wanted to depart this madhouse. The stern mouth was again open and seemed to be getting ever closer to Ladron. Still holding the knife in his hand, but such a possession was escaping his thought as he watched this unprecedented sight before him. The eel came close, until the loud pop resulted in the animal jerking forward a bit too close to Ladron, then erupting into a bloody explosion and collapsing to the living room floor, all the while twitching sporadically. Ladron turned to see Jorrick standing outside, still holding the gun. He stepped over the broken window back into the house to stand with his father and observe the eel as it slowly ceased movement. 

"When did you get away from your mother?" 

"When she was so hysterical going into the closet, I got away and made my way out the back door and climbed through the window to get your gun. It wasn't hard." 

"I suppose not," Ladron said, looking at JOrrick. "That whale really smashed it up good, didn't he?"

Jorrick stepped toward the eel. 

"We better get him out before he attracts other predators." 

"Don't touch him, Jorrick," Ladron said. "If it's an electric eel, I don't know how long it's . . . wired. We'll tend to it later." 

Ladron looked back at the ruckus of the shark slowly giving way to being killed. 

"Why does the fish float," Jorrick began, "but the blood and intestines, they all fell?" 

Ladron watched the contented carnivores slowly move away, one or two of them even biting at one another in the process. 

"I don't know," Ladron answered. "Why is any of this happening?" 

"Is it global warming, dad?" 

"Well," Ladron began, "if it is, we really are in trouble." 

The father and son stood at the destroyed wall, gazing out among the movement above, while Shadrae still stood at the kitchen door, the two little ones still very quiet. 

As Ladron quietly studied the moving animals going to and fro, as if in an enormouse aquarium, he noticed they began to illuminate for some reason, then he comprehended why. The clouds behind them seemed to be densing up behind them, almost like dark smoke. Some of the animals flew within the darkening clouds. A silent flash of lightning sent another finned figure spiraling to the ground. A breeze took over the entire arena, and strangely seemed to blow the creatures away. The sky continued to darken, as the mainre life flew by as if being drawn to where they need be, but not before one last gargantuan crossed the sky. 

"Dad, .. . " 

As if from a supernatural novel of alien invaders, an enormous squid sailed across the sky, its tentacles seeming to want to ensnare whatever it could reach. There might have been more sea life cavorting about in the sky, but Ladron had the distinct impression, for no reason whatsoever, they may be encountering hindrances seeking to reach familiar territory. 

It was starting to rain.