The Contestant

Are we truly so different? Maybe that's what makes us so much alike.

                                                                         

"He's stylin'! He's smilin'! And you know he is profilin'! Everybody, put your hands up for your host on Hit It To Go, . . . . here's Zaquon Mederro!"

"You know I'm with it, if you going to git it! Don't make no mistake, you are indeed . . . !"

"AWAKE!" 

"Allright, audience! You are good! Welcome everybody to Hit It To Go, the game that moves, jives and improves lives! Ha-ha-ha! It's all about hitting it to go! Yea! I am your host, Zaquon Shredacious Mederro and Jontay, who are our celebrity panelists today?" 

"Zaquon, from the successful online postings of Jarshaun Beyond, we have the lovely and talented Andreva!" 

"Welcome, Andreva!"

"Thank you, Zaquon. I am happy to be here."

"And you know I am happy to have you here, honey. Ha-ha-ha-ha! So what can we expect in the future from Jarshaun Beyond? I'm sure it will be exciting."

"indeed it will be, Zaquon. It's gonna be spell-binding and blow-minding!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha! That's what I like to hear! Who else we got, Jontay?"

"Zaquon, he is the former referee for the Malibu Badgers who is now the international program excelsior, maker of sensational accessories preferred by the rich and royals, put your hands together because you know it's got to be Kelderickus Cosmovion!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha! The one and only, Kelderickus Cosmovion!"

"It's nice to be here, Zaquon. And yes, I have a whole new array scheduled to be available online in the upcoming weeks."

"I'm wearing one of your items right now, Kelderickus. See right here."

"Yea, that's from the fleet collection, Zaquon."

"Uh-huh. You got some on, too, Andreva?"

"I'm wearing, . . . what is this I'm wearing?"

"Ha=ha-ha-ha! Andreva don't know what she is wearing!"

"That looks like triple ecstacy voyage. I believe that's what that is."

"Uh-huh. There ya go." 

"It's nice. I love it. I love all your designs, Kelderickus." 

"Thank you, Andreva."

"So, Jontay. Who are our contestants playing today?"

"She is a field distributor of authentic communications and networking at a local industrial center in the downtown San Fernando area, please welcome, Shagrija Eshonroe!" 

"Welcome to our show, Shagrija."

"Thank you, Zaquon."

"I love your hair, baby, and look at those earrings."

"Oh, Andreva. What a compliment coming from you."

"I do. She is so exquisite in her attire. Look at this. Absolutely wonderful."

"So Shagrija, what exactly does a field distributor do?"

"Well, Zaquon, I'm in charge of departmental assistant managing designated locations and seeing to it everything is acquisitional in worldwide operating destinations."

"Okay, that sounds real good, Shagrija."

"Thank you, Zaquon."

"Now, Jontay, we have one more person up here. Who is our other contestant to team up with Kelderickus?" 

"Zaquon, he is a bank manager from Glendora, Mississippi. Give it up for Walt Jones."

"Walt, welcome to Hit It To Go." 

"Thank you, Zack, . . . Zack, . . Ron, . . . Zacron."

"Close enough. Ha-ha-ha! So what's it like in Glendora these days, Walt?" 

"Well, it's nice. I like it where I live. Close to work."

"That sounds good, so everybody ready to hit it to go!"

"Yea, baby!"

"You got it, Zaquon."

"Whooo!"

"Ha-ha-ha, easy there, Walt. So the way we play Hit It To Go is by asking a randomly drawn question from specially selected categories. First one to answer correctly gets a point, first one to get ten points moves on to the bonus round. Feel free to discuss it with your partner. And here we go. - First question: what was Dejretta's viral hit with Target B?"

"Do you know, man?"

"I have no idea what that is."

"I got the answer, Zaquon!"

"Shagrija!"

"Done Had, Zaquon! It was Done Had!"

 

"That's absolutely correrct, Shagrija. You get the points. Ha-ha-ha-ha! I don't imagine you hear a lot of Dejretta's compilations in that bank in Glendora, do ya, Walt?"

"No, I guess not."

"Okay, next question. What was the record-breaking final score between Veldarius Sensation and Over-Intoxicated 4 at the third quarter 2015 Recognition ceremony?"

"Oh, yea. I remember that."

"Celebrities, let the contestants answer, please."

"You remember that, Shagrija?"

"Girl, I have always checked out Over-Intoxicated 4."

"Walt, do you remember the 2015 Recognition ceremony?"

"I don't know what any of this is."

"Veldarius Sensation, one of the longest-running internet trends around, went up against Over-Intox 4."

"What are they? Who are you again?"

"Answers, please, contestants."

"Zaquon, that score was the closest to a tie any competition had ever been, with Over-intox 4 just two points ahead of Sensation." 

"That's correct, Shagrija. One more correct answer and you win the game."

"What on earth is a Recognition ceremony?"

"Zaquon, Walt doesn't know who I am."

"Walt, how far out is Glendora from the rest of the world? Ha-ha-ha-ha! Don't feel bad, Kelderickus. - On to our next question. Let's see if you can guess this one, Walt. You are allowed to discuss the answer with Kelderickus here. This is Kelderickus beside you. Ha-ha-ha."

"Hi, Walt." 

"Kel, . . . Kelder, . . . whatever."

"With this question, Shagrija, you'll win the game. If, ha-ha, if Walt gets it correct, then he's on the board. Ha-ha-ha. So, everbody, ready? Here's the question. Give me just one of the names of Fierce Fit." 

"That's enough! No! I've heard enough!" 

"What's wrong, Walt?"

"Asking me about all this Intoxicated 4 and now Fierce Fit and recording ceremony and Shagrija stuff." 

"I'm Shagrija."

"She's Shagrija."

"Well, I don't know who she is and I don't know who you are!" 

"We didn't know Shagrija until she showed up just before you."

"I don't care who knows her. I don't know any of you or what you are talking about."

"Walt, maybe you need to calm down."

"No, I don't need to calm down. I came on here with the intention of playing a game and all I have heard is nonsense."

"Walt, Over-Intoxicated 4 is hardly nonsense. They get more requests . . . . "

"I don't care what they get! I've never heard of them!"

"Not down there in Glendora, Mississippi, I'd imagine not."

"This is all foolishness! Ask something pertaining to the real world."

"Walt, Over-Intoxicated 4 . . . . "

"I don't want to hear about Over-Intoxicated 4 anymore! Nobody say anything about Over-Intoxicated 4 anymore!"

"Uh, Zaquon, be careful. He might have a gun. They do that where he's . . . "

"Is that what you think? I might have a gun?"

"Walt, what are you doing? Have you got a gun in your jacket? Oh my God."

"Don't any of you move now. Don't anybody move! I might have a gun, so don't any of you move."

"Oh, my God. Don't shoot us."

"Shut-up, Charva-marve, or whatever your name is. I want to hear some sensible questions, not all that Meedra-poo visuality stuff. Ask a normal question."

"I-I, . . . . I don't know what to ask."

"ASK!" 

"O-kay, Walt, o-kay. Uh, . . . who is the governor of Mississippi?"

"Is that supposed to be challenging for me?"

"I figured . . . "

"You! Who's the governor of Mississippi?"

"Oh, I don't know. Please, don't shoot me."

"What's your name again?"

"Shagrija."

"Why don't you know who the governor of Mississippi is, Shakrija?"

"I don't know. Please, please, don't shoot me." 

"How about you?"

"I-I don't know e-either."

"What's your name again?"

"Ah-Andreva."

"What kind of name is that? Why don't you know who the Mississippi governor is? Smoky here asked a question. Why don't you know the answer?"

"Walt."

"What?"

"Could you just put the gun down. You're scaring the women."

"Scaring them? Do they feel stupid yet?"

"Walt, please."

"Do you know who the Mississippi governor is? What's your name again?"

"Kelderickus."

"Ha-ha-ha. What kind of name is that?"

"Walt, . . . . "

"Come on, Keldurackus. Who's the Mississippi governor?"

"I don't know, Walt."

"He doesn't know either. So that leaves you. What's your name again?"

"Zaquon."

"Lord. Okay, Zack, who's the Mississippi governor?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know? What do you mean, you don't know? You asked the question!"

"I just asked something I was certain you would know and you would like to answer."

"So you were pandering to me?"

"Walt, if you have a gun, please, put it away."

"Do you have a gun?"

"Ask me about shaggy-poo and over-intoxicated and all that other nonsense, like it's something in the real world. It's nothing but tiny specks aligned on a monitor to make an image or picture."

"Walt, our products have been some of the biggest online money-makers . . . . "

"I said I don't want to hear . . . . HEY!"

"Get him, Kelderickus."

"Oh my God!"

"Grab his other hand, Zaquon!"

"Where's his gun? Get his gun!"

"He doesn't have one."

"What?"

"Security is here. He doesn't have a gun."

"Oh, my God. He scared me. What do you mean, he doesn't have a gun?"

"He was bluffing." 

"He was bluffing? You were bluffing?"

"Scared me to death!" 

"Ah, go shaggry something, or whatever it is you do."

"You are crazy, and you are racist and you are prejudiced!"

"Same thing, lady!"

"You are going to jail!"

"Be a lot better than being here! Game show. Ain't no game to this."

"Are you allright, Andreva?"

"Just a little shook up, that's all. Can't believe there are still people like that in the world."

"Easy, baby. Good going, Kelderickus."

"Yea, I started thinking he didn't seem like he had a gun."

"That was real brave, Mr. Cosmovion."

"Shagrija, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just scared."

"It's all over with now. Security has taken him away to jail."

"They need to take him back where he belongs in Mississippi."

"They sure do. Don't need that around here."

"Why do they act like that?"

"I don't know, Andreva, but it's over with."

"Is it? Will it ever be over with?"