Wrinkled Flower

Destiny was chosen

Far so long ago

The rose can’t but bloom

 Inside alone the darkened room of elite moron

Sure she sing above her voice

Her tune can be nothing but our first choice

 Sigh " it never reach

 In dimensions

 Where human lives

So her tears owns many oceans

Her eyes wonder what is color

In her queen petals wrinkles are  very clear

She is  the only flower

Dreams "death "

with desire

 

 

Reviews

[Riss Ryker]

I get a sense of sadness laced in between the beautiful imagery. This is a beautiful, poignant piece, ReD and I was touched. Well done!

Couple of nits: Mooron is spelled 'moron'.
Too many 'n's in the word 'can't'...

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Thank you for the corrections and I'm glad you liked it :)

[Afraa]

Breathtaking and mesmerizing piece, ReD. You got me in awe at this; you have a way with words too! My absolute favorite line: "So her tears own many oceans." That was the ultimate line. I wrote a line similar to that one in my "In Time" poem, which you just now reviewed!

You also chose a lovely picture to depict the poem!

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Oh thank you so much . I was really kinda worried if that line really rhymes with the poem but it's meaningful and main ( hurt ) kind of feeling . I'm so happy that u appreciated . Girls are really avoided and locked at many phases of life though they are flower but ..Wrinkled like a tissue

[Afraa]

You're very welcome! Flowers are an excellent symbol for girls and women. Just to show our delicacy and such. I wrote a piece called "A Frozen Flower" that focuses on the same subject. And please don't feel obligated to read it. I am merely saying! Haha!

[Lenah Mehzabin]

ok I know haha ( I will read it but after some days then ) so that u don't feel i read it bcoz u said ;)
I'm curious though . hugs :*

[Afraa]

Haha! That was hilarious! *hugs back*

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing used of words and thoughts. You said so much in the short poetry
"She is the only flower
Dreams "death "
with desire "
Your gave the rose reason and purpose. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Thank you so much ! .. I'm really glad u liked it and enjoyed : )

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. I enjoy your poetry.

[The StoryTeller]

Ok, so ReD, tell me if I'm completely of course, but I feel that this poem is about destiny. she was chosen, and has had to remain in that job for eons... she is all alone, and no one can hear her, not even the humans whom's fates she creates. and she is completely devoid and gone, possibly after seeing so much of the pain in the world?

Despite however wrong I am on that, I like this poem. It has a true eloquence and flow to it. It definitely creates an image in my mind, and a stirring in my soul. I love how you compare her to flowers. Beautiful writing, from a beautiful soul.

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Yes u got it right .But she is not dead but will die soon . Living with the harshness of life .Thank you so much and I'm glad u liked it : )

[The StoryTeller]

Glad I got it right, and it truly is a beautiful poem.

[Writer_next_door]

Amazing poem. Absolutely loved it. Great job.

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Thank you so much ! : )

[Cool Girl]

Wow..... Wonderful job! :)

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Thank you so much :))

[Cool Girl]

Welcome! :)

[Saddam]

Sure she sing above her voice
Her tune can be nothing but our first choice
Sigh " it never reach

A desires,
Ah, poem. I really feel it and like it.

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Thank you so much! . I'm really glad u liked it :))

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethi..]

The title 'wrinkled flower' alone can be described as a song:) I wish I had chosen this title before you:P ha ha:) The song which has an eloquent flow to it with an ebbing feel to it is truly desirable:) My favorite line would be 'her tears owns many oceans' do stand out from the rest:)

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Haha thank u so much !. U r really funny . I'm glad you enjoyed it

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

YW:) entering more than 10 characters

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Lol haha always a pleasure ( entering more than 10 charecters ) ;)

[Moonie]

This poem reminded me of Sylvia Plath's Tulips. I really like the assonance you used. Well done! :) :)

[Lenah Mehzabin]

Oh Thank you so much ! I'm glad that u liked it :) I will read Tulips !