Fine

Unconditional Love

Fine

By:
Richard D. McGehee

I was asked how I felt today buy some stranger on the street. Politely I answered; fine thanks.

Of course that was a lie. I'm far from fine, fine is for fools; my fine is way more than fine.

My soul, mind, and heart feel like they are under attack from an ally and many old enemies I thought long defeated.

I'm pent up inside with what isn't wanted but could be.

With the remembered touch and embrace of a gentle, patient, and kind hearted person...that one brings me comfort.

With what should have been but wasn't thrice. With the sorrow of causing my friend pain, anguish, and doubt...that one is the worst.

With the joy, trust, and love only a new and cherished friend can bring...for that one I'm most grateful.

With the torment of loving that friend more than I should and more than he wants.

With the fear and anxiety of losing my sweet friend from overstepping boundaries that are muddy in my mind...at best.

With the shear terror of what that premature lose would do to my mind, how quickly I would unravel.

With knowing the end will come soon enough and both welcoming it for the endless possibilities that it will bring us both and fearing it for the sadness I will feel from the lack of his presence.

With the guilt of jealousy and petty hatred of things I can't control...for this one I am most ashamed.

With the self hatred of always wanting things I can't have, and never learning from my choices.

With love, pure love for someone I've connected with on many levels.

With fear for his safety and longing for his freedom from his family's scorn and contempt...this one angers me the most.

With pure joy and Happyness for his bright future far away from here...a future he both deserves and needs.

I'm safe in my conviction that I will NEVER stand in his way no matter the state of my insides...that is NOT who I am.

I'm also filled with the courage he's given me to grow in love and life...for that I'm Truely indebted to him.

I'm also filled with the steadfast conviction of helping him grow and master his bright future.

I'm filled with pride and honor to help him chase away his demons and help him realize he is SOO worthy of all he dreams and more.

But most of all I'm filled with hope! The hope he knows how much he means to me, I will always support and care for him...free of judgement, contempt, and hatred...unconditional acceptance.

You see, what that stranger didn't know was that when I care for someone I do so all in, body mind and soul.

So stranger, just so ya know, my simple answer of fine means tones more than just "fine".

I love you my friend and I'm doing just fine.

Reviews

[David Jae]

I like what you've tried to do here, a sort of stream of consciousness style of narrative that is powerful.

It's just a shame that you didn't have more to say.
In my opinion, this would have been much stronger if you had written about something more concrete, like an actual decision to make or obstacle to overcome. As it is, this seems a little weak.

Also, it would have been nice to learn more about your character than we did, which would have also come through with a stronger plot emphasis.

What I liked about this, though, was your direct and simple use of language; there was no over-dramatism or needless exposition.

Ganbare