Singe

Does it help or hurt or make things worse

To know I'm hurting, too?

Does it tear you apart or lighten your heart

That I don't know what to do?

I tried and I cried and I looked to the sky

For a God that doesn’t exist.

What has happened to me? Once loving and sweet.

Now I’ve transformed into this.

A quick fix that’ll last a life time;

Help me resurrect the good

That’s hidden inside, under 12 tons of pride.

Wouldn’t save it if you could.

If I chugged some holy water,

Would it free me of my sins?

Or would it burn me from the inside,

Free the demons from within?

As those demons manifest themselves

Into memories and shapes

Of all the men who ever lived

Engraved inside my brain.

But there are three specifically

That I have truly wronged.

One is just a distant thought.

And two are holding strong.

I’m sorry for the mark that ended what I held so dear.

My apologies for keeping myself safe for 18 years.

I’m sorry that I broke your heart, denied your only wish.

I’ll just keep praying to a God I don’t believe exists.