Wiping Away

I lay awake,

Begging myself to fall asleep,

But the sounds of tears dripping down my face to the pillow; becoming like a siren,

So loud,

The sounds of my tears,

In my mind I scream at myself,

Tears are weakness,

Why,

Why are all these memories flooding my mind,

Everyone of them misrible,

 

Doors slamming,

People screaming,

My own wimpers from the corner,

Father leaving me, my mother, and brother out of my aunt's demand,

Grandfather died of cancer,

My dreams that he visits with me then leaves me screaming and crying for him to come back,

Another Grandfather died of a unrelible hosiptal,

One dream of him that he lets go of my hand,

 

I try again to stop these reluctent tears that leave a river on my face,

But no stopping it,

No stifle of a wimper or sound is made from myself,

I have learned not to cry,

Tis because crying only shows weakness,

But it escapes me,

I don't care for a side of my family,

They have scarred me for life,

No one can replace the few years that I have lost,

 

Time is a privilage; not a right,

It control's life,

No has the strength of time,

Yet of course Time itself,

 

I wipe away the tears knowing they do nothing,

I paint my smile upon my face,

Try to live the way my grandfather's that have gone would wanted me too,

Happy,

Not wasted on worthless tears,

Smile,

They would say,

I do,

But it is not a genuine smile,

Not one that could make my face glow,

 

The tears stop,

But still the sirens are still playing,

Keeping me awake,

Keeping all my memories a-line,

 

Some would say if only; if only...

That is only : an if,

Some would have said "Oh only you could change..."

NO!

Do not change anything of your past,

It only will backstab you in the future,

 

I close my wet, empty eyes,

Sleep cover's over me,

Wiping away the memories,

Wiping away life as I know it,

For when I wake,

It will reappear to everything I wish to wipe away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Cheryl]

Aww I love it it's so sad!

[Ellusive Rose]

I luv-luv-luv it! You're so talented! This poem made me cry. Sniff..... I can understand where you're coming from. You made a lot of good points. Tears can show signs of weakness, but....they can also show strength as well...It shows that you have the ability to express yourself. Maybe not in front of others, but at least to yourself...

You are right. No one can control time. Time is what is given to us and yes it does control our lives sometimes....but it's what we make of time that controls our lives. If we want our memories to come in a make us miserable, that's our choice. If we want to overcome it and push it aside, that's our choice. I don't think that even if you don't want to cry because you don't want to be weak, the pain and tears will never leave you on the inside.....

Anyway, I'm rambling....Good job! Very, very good! Keep writing! I'm expecting great things from you in the future!