That Day

That Day

A Poem by QuietPoet

That Day

I was driving home on the freeway

And there’s this spot

Where it takes me back to

When I was a kid

I remember there was an accident

A bunch of cars were in front of us

We were trying to see what happened

But we were too far back

It was raining outside

We got closer to the crash

And I saw a lady crying

With blood on her hands

Her husband or brother

Was on the ground..

She was being uncontrollable

I imagined her screaming for help

I saw this when I was a little girl

And every time I drive by there

I remember that day like it was yesterday

I have no idea why either

Just the way the lady looked

I pictured myself as her

As if it were one of my own on the ground

Bleeding, crying and fighting

That day I hoped I never had to..

© 2010 QuietPoet


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Reviews

this is very raw but it has innocence in it. like a scared child.

Rhymes are very important to me. You either dont use rhymes much cus you are writing free style or you let this one be rather rhymeless on purpose.

A great poet and author I know once had told me, "you dont need to try for rhyming, just feel the emotion, let it fill you and write in its excellence... it will rhyme on its own..."

Thats what makes poems look natural. Flowing. Yours is more like a story with small sentences.

I hope this will help.

Posted 14 Years Ago


This is a rather interesting poem... Btw,

"And every time I drive buy there"

I believe you meant "by". :)

Posted 14 Years Ago



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107 Views
2 Reviews
Added on January 20, 2010
Last Updated on January 20, 2010

Author

QuietPoet
QuietPoet

Las Vegas, NV



About
Hello, my is kylie, I havent been on here for a long time, i haven't written in years so bare with me. Reading all my old stuff brings back a lot of memories. I have a husband and twin girls, i would.. more..

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