Helpless

Helpless

I found out part of her story

The lady with the scars on her neck

The one that I notice more than most

I watch her at visiting hours with her mom

She’s always so blank in her face

And her mother just sits and holds her hand

The reason why she is here

Is because she’s tried to kill herself multiple times

Today I find out that her and the mother

Have made a packed to kill one another

Why? I haven’t found out.

But we get told today that

The mother killed herself

While the daughter is in rehab..

She doesn’t know that she is dead

They don’t want her watching the News

Because the story might come up

I honestly think, they shouldn’t keep it from her

Its her mother, its her right to know

Yeah, its going to hurt her

But its going to make it worse if its said later

When I was being told all of this

A quiet tear formed in the back of my eye

I pictured her finding out and being uncontrollable

I really don’t know what happened to them

To want to plan a suicide between both

They must of not have lived a happy life

I kept them in the back of my mind for the rest of the night

Just thinking what’s going to happen when she gets released

I really don’t think she wants to live even more now

It might have been just her mother,

What if she’s all alone now?

I don’t know if a rehab can help her

Its just so sad to see all of this

And not being able to say or do anything at all..

Reviews

[Bud]

Kylie,

You work in one of the most difficult of places to work. Your eyes, your heart see and feel so much pain. Sometimes, it is not for us to know or understand. Somethings, only God will have the ability to deal with... You pen your thoughts, and your feelings well. Outstanding.

[Haifa]

Too deep, and its so sad. Well done

[Soul Magic✯]

"Its her mother, its her right to know

Yeah, its going to hurt her

But its going to make it worse if its said later"
so true... and this is a sad tragic story. very profound and touching. your ink is outstanding

[Frantzuu]

I like reading your poems, you put heart and soul into them, very deep, and profound. you did a great job on this one. :)

[R J Askew]

Cracking piece. Very, very good piece of observation, reportage acttually, with compassion. You tell us a very real human story. You are looking ourside yourself. Your compassion is to the fore but the piece is not about you, it is not self-obsessive at all. That is great. We are with you. We feel the same feelings that you do as you contemplate this terrible situation. And the story has several layers to it. We are shocked by the pact (note spelling). And we can see them sitting in silence. We wonder what led them to it. The matter of fact way in which the mother is just gone seems entirely likely. Yet the reaction of the staff really shocks us. It is as if they know what the next act will be and don't want to trigger it. They just don't know how to tell her. How sad. Your observation and compassion are what move the reader. Just a little insight into the soul of America, but it tells us a lot.

[Bette]

omg this is touching. i am not sure what to say to this is heartbreaking

[The Flawed]

Good job QP,
I see you are back writing in your old style again (not X rated LOL)
It’s a good piece and I like it but the line:
“A quiet tear formed in the back of my eye”
I would change to “A quiet tear formed in the corner of my eye”
But that’s just me, and hay, what do I know?
Well done.

[Jeff Miller]

AMAZING PIECE!!! It speaks for itself!

[HorrorMaster]

Amazing poem :) very realistic

[Kenny L. Mitchell]

Completely realistic and gully. I was completely engrossed in the gritty realism of the piece. You may want to check out the word packed (pact) and I do like that you are hitting some fundamental emotions that we all have to deal with. Very good work!

[Marquise]

She’s always so blank in her face

And her mother just sits and holds her hand


speechless... i held my breath while reading this, the position you are in as the observer, the position the mother and daughter were in.. why??
it makes you wonder if something happen to both of them at the same time and the impact was too much to recover mentally, or maybe they are just tired of the way the world i in general. is it something religious or spiritual.. maybe one wanted to die and the other wants to go with them.
so sad... when all you have in the world is one person to lean on, and they are gone, there's nothing there to catch you from falling now... so you just fall...
hmm, this piece of writing stands in a category of its own...