Unaware

What am I suppose to do?....

 

 

 

Unaware
I go to start my car
And I look down
I see my hair ties
Laying on the car mats
I look at my cup holder
All my coins are gone..
Instantly I knew who taken it…
My brother…
You know, its just coins,
I would have let him have it
If he would have asked me..
Not going behind my back,
Taking my keys, getting inside my car
And take what was mine…
This is why I can’t trust him..
He stole from me.. (and its not the first time..)
When my dad got home I told him,
And he mentioned that
He has given him 40 dollars this past weekend…
Where does your money go?
What is it you blow it on?
Drugs? Girlfriend? Food? Alcohol?
Later tonight, I get out of the shower
And I see the tequila bottle and Pepsi
My brother comes from outside
To pour another shot…
Shot after shot..
My heart aches after each one..
He’s standing in the kitchen now…
Looking around, gloomy..
Pours another shot..
And I sit here,
While I watch him drink his sorrows away…
He comes back in and says;
“Hey, can I borrow a couple dollars
I can‘t go to dad for any more money”…
He said it with a slow, sad voice..
I didn’t even look at him,
I just went in my room
And gave him 3 dollars..
What was I suppose to do?..
Tears formed in my eyes
When I hear his car start..
And I just sit here
While he drives away under the influence..
 

Reviews

[Longing for Home]

People talk of tough love without much thought. It sounds so easy......I have a son who is mentally ill, and with that comes several addictions. What is tough is not loving too much. What is tough is not punishing yourself....you did a great job of painting word pictures of sadness, you're heart in your throat, swollen, breaking. Hang in there!!!! This too, shall pass.

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

Oh I am sorry lil, what a pinful situation .... he is in trouble , addicted , he kills himself but you are in the middle, you always been the good sister, helping but its timt to stop it... he needs help but you are not the adress, you have your own problems, Money you gave him just go to drugs and bad things, so just be strong, I know how its hard and stop it... say NO More ... He should get a job and be responsible for himself... he will keep steal from you so be careful .. and when you get the chance just move to another place . I know it might not helped but , its very serious situation , you can't just let it go , that is like a cancer, you need to kill it when its little, other you will pay much more ... Yossi

[Matthew V. H.]

it's a good poem. You tell a good story through this poem and it makes the heart break.

keep up the good work.

cole-

[Gravedigger]

I am so sorry. I wish your brother could see what he does to you when he does these things, and that he could see that what he does will not fix his problems. As for what can you do...there isnt much you can do, except be patient with him. Offer to talk to him..you never know what you might learn, and if he says nothing at least he will be comforted a little. Its very hard to control or predict what will happen around an addict..I know, my father was one. My heart is breaking with yours to read this..I will pray for him.

I hope he wakes up to reality soon..