When I say�

 

When I say…

I may be strong on the outside

But I will break…

No one knows my weaknesses

Because I keep it inside..

But take one stab at my heart

And it will be torn apart

When I say I care, I care

When I say I’m here, I’m here

When I say I love, I love you

I wouldn’t lie and put such pain in you..

It hurts when I get doubted

When I would give the world to anyone, if I could

But all I have are words to show what love I have in me..

I have arms, lips and a body to show you that I care..

I wouldn’t hurt a fly..

When I say I care, I care

When I say I’m here, I’m here

When I say I love, I love you..

I may be strong on the outside

But I will break..

Into million pieces when my love gets shattered…

Reviews

[deeps]

This is a deep powerful write here.
I like this it is very well written

[HorrorMaster]

Wow very powerful. Such feeling coming out this. Another good poem.

[17thWhitePrince]

WoW !!!
So powerful indeed !!!
Such emotion and feeling that comes out !!!
WoW !!!

- one suggestion though -
"When I say I love, I love you" ... perhaps it should say ...
"When I say I love you, I love you" :) ... perhaps ... it's up to you

:)

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is indeed so sad, I saw that sense of dejection, sorrow and despair here, great work :)

[Arthur Crow]

Wow.. I'm so moved by this, your heart warming expression of sincere love is pure sunshine :)

[ape domenigoni]

Oh this is so beautiful....very clear on how you feel...fantastic job....keep it up

[Matthew V. H.]

I hope you never get hurt. You deserve to be happy.

This was a very powerful and very real poem. You put yourself out there like so many of us fail to do. You leave yourself vulnerable but honest. It is something that everyone should be able to do, but most can't.

good job,
cole-

[[untitled]]

I feel your sincerity throughout this entire poem. It hurts to be doubted, and as a person of their word, being doubted can hurt like a stab to the heart.

"I may be strong on the outside
But I will break..
Into million pieces when my love gets shattered�"

This poem is very well written. Brave. Truthful, and strong, with a strong indication of how fragile a
heart can be . . .

Fantastic write, as always, dear poetic friend!

[JRB]

When I say I care, I care

When I say I'm here, I'm here

When I say I love, I love you..

I may be strong on the outside

But I will break..

Into million pieces when my love gets shattered�

nice lines thank you for the read,
Jan/uisiom

[JadedSparrow]

oh my...There is a since of pleading that made my heart weep. The devotion to make another happy is beautiful, yet dangerous in the since that if and when that person can no longer be made happy, feelings of failure are your reward.

"When I say I care, I care
When I say I'm here, I'm here
When I say I love, I love you.."

The repetition of these lines was a nice touch. It makes the reader begin to understand the sincerity of your emotions. I enjoyed reading this more than I can explain. The only change I would suggest is this:

change:
But all I got is words to show what love I have in me..

To:
But all I have are words to show you what love I have in me...

Thank you for asking me to read this one QP.

JS