My First Time

It was not rape. It took me awhile to write about that night because I was hurt, I still am alittle, but it is easier now, now that he is out of my life. If you are under the age of 18 please beware.

 

 

 

My First Time

The room was pitch black

All I saw was him and me

He was all over me

Kissing my lips

Taking my shirt off

Then my bra, pants and underwear…

Moving his hands down below..

Grabs me and has me on top

Moves my hands lower and lower…..

He lays next to me

Whispering if I want it inside me..

I told him I did not know

Just kept kissing and rubbing me

I wanted it..

He climbed on top of me

Was inside of me now

Moving faster and faster..

I told him to go slow

It was like he wasn’t listening

It hurt so much..

He kept asking why I was fighting it

I told him to slow down

Still kept going…

I was freaking out.

He stopped.

Didn’t ask if I was ok.

Just left me lying there on his bed

Someone wiggled the door handle

I rushed to get dressed

We went outside to my car

Took a drive, he acted like we didn’t do a thing…

I told him I was shaky and freaking out

He asked if I was ok

I paused and lied “Yes”..

He rambled on about something else

He knew exactly what he did

I left that night crying for days…

Just didn’t think he would ever hurt me like that

But he did and it only got worse after that

When he left me to go back to his ex..

He tricked, lied, hit and ran..

This will always be in my heart forever

The day how my first time went..

Reviews

[Spoken]

it may not have been rape, but i'm sure it felt like it. terrible way to experience what is supposed to be a moment full of love. All i can say is.. what a b*****d! through very different events i know how this can leave a scar.. it's difficult and I feel sadness for you.. you are very brave to write of this pain and i applaud your courage..

[SelfHelp]

Oh wow. What sucks is that I know girls that that's happened to.

[THE LOST ROSE]

Thanks for sharing this piece with me. I feel for you to have to experience this but so many young ladies do. I hope this wonderful piece of work can reach the ones that share in the same experiences. Hopefully they will grab a pen and a pad and write their pain away as you have.

[Helena]

Thank you for writing and sharing this with us.
I hope that it helped with your healing dear.
So many women go through this unfortunately.
It does leave a scar, but don't let it ruin your
life, after all he didn't care then, and I bet he
doesn't care now. He has no room in your heart...
let him go.

Hugs
Helena

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Very well written poem. You deserve to be treated so much better. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Mysty Rayn]

This is so sad. I don't think anyone has a good first experience, but this is horrible. No one should be used and thrown away. May all your future experiences make up for this horrible one. Big Hugs!

[ape domenigoni]

this is so sad....very well written

[Lyrical Love]

I respect you for being so brutally honest with us about something so deeply personal.
However, our art (writings/poems) are healing in a way that only another artist would understand.
Seeing how painful this first experience was (and shouldn't have been), I hope that it has been
miraculously cathartic for you.
Something so wonderful as making love should never
be anything but that...
nevertheless, for some it is an entrance into a world of
confusion, and torment.
I wish you well.
This write is phenomenal because it will help someone
by letting them know that they are not alone.
I applaud you!

[Marvin Lewis Jr.]

When I first looked at the title I smiled because it brought back pleasant memories! lol
But as I read more the smile went away as each line told of such a sad event, I admire you for writing about something that hurt you so others can hopefully learn from it.

[darkgurl]

This is ever so sad and I don't really know what to say here, It must have been hard though. You wrote the feelings and emotions out so that must've helped some to let that go....Kim