My First Time

It was not rape. It took me awhile to write about that night because I was hurt, I still am alittle, but it is easier now, now that he is out of my life. If you are under the age of 18 please beware.

 

 

 

My First Time

The room was pitch black

All I saw was him and me

He was all over me

Kissing my lips

Taking my shirt off

Then my bra, pants and underwear…

Moving his hands down below..

Grabs me and has me on top

Moves my hands lower and lower…..

He lays next to me

Whispering if I want it inside me..

I told him I did not know

Just kept kissing and rubbing me

I wanted it..

He climbed on top of me

Was inside of me now

Moving faster and faster..

I told him to go slow

It was like he wasn’t listening

It hurt so much..

He kept asking why I was fighting it

I told him to slow down

Still kept going…

I was freaking out.

He stopped.

Didn’t ask if I was ok.

Just left me lying there on his bed

Someone wiggled the door handle

I rushed to get dressed

We went outside to my car

Took a drive, he acted like we didn’t do a thing…

I told him I was shaky and freaking out

He asked if I was ok

I paused and lied “Yes”..

He rambled on about something else

He knew exactly what he did

I left that night crying for days…

Just didn’t think he would ever hurt me like that

But he did and it only got worse after that

When he left me to go back to his ex..

He tricked, lied, hit and ran..

This will always be in my heart forever

The day how my first time went..

Reviews

[Spoken]

it may not have been rape, but i'm sure it felt like it. terrible way to experience what is supposed to be a moment full of love. All i can say is.. what a b*****d! through very different events i know how this can leave a scar.. it's difficult and I feel sadness for you.. you are very brave to write of this pain and i applaud your courage..

[Emily Paige]

omg'sh i'm so sorry i dont mean anything creepy by this but you need a hug hun message me if you ever need to talk to anyone i understand how you feel.

[Haifa]

Oh so sorry.. Its a hard thing, at least you seems that you got over it already because writing about this, is something brave and strong from you. Its good that you let your feelings out and wrote them down about this thing. Well done, I hope you are feeling better now

[The Flawed]

So Sorry

[Hippy]

that doesnt sound to good its supposed to be magical in a since but he should of listened to you and he shouldnt of used you thats just so wrong

[R J Askew]

Ach, it's a sad, sad little read. Life! So many of us mess it up and that dude messed it up. He cld have left you with such different memories, but it was not to be. I hope the poem helped you unload some of the anguish you felt over it.

[ashley]

I am so sorry.

That should have never happened.

[HorrorMaster]

Yeah it seem like rape to me. I'm glad he out of your life. I love this poem by the way. *hugs you*

[*!!Cammie!!*]

They seem so harmless, like they'll see you as a goddess one day and love you. After they get their satisfaction, they always cut you loose. It's almost astonishing how much power they have over us, how even after they've treated us so poorly and are gone, we STILL continue to want them even more. I have to give you a pat on the back for sharing this, I can't imagine what you feel when you see him. I hope this wasn't recent, because if it was, I think I might cry. You are so innocent, my friend, and you don't deserve this at all. Your first time is the one you'll remember forever, and he ruined it so effortlessly. He stole your heart, then stole your trust and I'd most gladly come shoot him between the eyes, because he's continuing the chain that guys have created of disrespect. In some countries, it's actually a death sentence to do something like this. I'm sure a crowd would come with me...A crowd of fifty million women. You are not alone, remember that.

[Bud]

In reality this was a form of rape...a rape of trust. Unfortunately, this is a very common experience for many, many people. A brave and courageous write. Keep up the Excellent works of art!

[lindsay]

Eh I feel the pain myself as I read this. Not that I have been in the same predicament, but your emotions just off the page here and into my heart. I want to hurt with you and sympathize with you. I want to be there with you as you cry about this guy that hurt so much, when he cares so little. You are strong for writing about this, great job!