Beached

It lives in me

I never thought of sand as being food of sort.
When mixed with air and salt and moon,
in just the right amount,
could feed me like a flower feeds sunshine to a bee.

 

I step which is my drinking
with two tongues of bone and blood.
I swallow in my breathing, and taste it in my heart.
These stars are now within my mouth,
for this moment of forgetting.

Forgetting that I have forgot those things I told myself.
Without knowing, and no telling, I have become the beach.
I am the crashing wavesong, the piles of silty seaweed.
Truth is I never was another, I only was pretending.

And soon I must reshape myself
Back into the form of man.
Gild my teeth and seal this skin
And keep the fire burning.

 

Reviews

[Chantal-lise Mirman]

This poem has a wonderful flow, like the tides, and ranks high within the commune-with-Nature mode. Each stanza is a completely different stage of identifying with the sea, as you go from simile to metaphor. In the first stanza, you make a seemingly chance comparison; a discovery, like coming across the random seashell. Then in the second stanza, you embrace the image and become the beach. And finally, in the third stanza, you deny the first - as though you'd had amnesia and were embarassed about it! The title is what brings it all together. There IS a minor problem of a lack of subject for the second sentence of the first stanza, but I'm not sure how you might rectify it without disturbing the flow.I can imagine a whole series of these: Treed; Skyed; Wolfed...

[Pema Dorje]

... a sweet synaestasia flowed through your pen today and reminded me that we are always this if with our Hearts we see ... there is more to this universe then can be perceived by our sense organs; then there is the heart ~~

~ frequency
frequently loves to
take the Heart dancing.

this sweet dyslexia,
may be resolved,
or separated;
by sense.

[Emily B]

Wow! I found myself transported to salty, sea air. This made me stop and take notice. I was completely drawn in to your words.

[Narnie]

Why haven't I read this?? I was about to scream at you to get writing and then I saw that there was some I'd missed!! Oh - sorry... review, ok. I love it. A stream of unconciousness - one of those moments where your belly is full of picnic and you have your eyes closed to the sky, muttering idly to yourself or the one you love... beautiful flow, beautiful unique collection of wishes and thoughts... I love it.

[Michael X]

I never thought of sand as being food of sort.
When mixed with air and salt and moon,
in just the right amount,
could feed me like a flower feeds sunshine to a bee. "


andrew, this masterpiece blew me away, enlightening in the sense
that the concept opens ones mind to new ideas, describing
spiritual nurishment, with heavily impacting descriptiveness,
each stanza follows with the same amount of passionate effect, the
reader is taken to another place and time completely, metaphorical
concept reflecting one who is standing on the sea shore drinking the sun,
ending to a depth that stuns with subtle force, Excellence, mike

[David Lewis Paget]

Marvellous concept, a little of George Harrison's 'what we eat we are' carried to a new level. I had honestly never thought of ingesting aspects of the universe to be reflected in what we are - (just goes to show how slow and dense I really am where it come to conceptualisation). But you have opened a door for me here, and I shall spend some time now in reflection. Great stuff, Andrew. You should be a poet!

[Crimson Shadow]

These stars are now within my mouth,
for this moment of forgetting. ......mmm, love those lines.

There is an eloquence to this and softness on the tongue when read aloud - I found it to be very serene, even though there was a turbulent under-current running throughout. I appreciate that you held the reveal of that current until the final lines. This was a wonderful poem. I was very impressed and look forward to reading even more of your work.

[Drifter]

The seashore, where I stand gazing out across the distant horizon, is (at least in my opinion) one of the most beautiful places in the world. As I read this poem I was standing barefoot on the shore, lifting my arms in the wind and letting sunlight wash over me. I really enjoyed this poem.

Kudos,

Drifter

[Gandré]

I swallow, in my breathing,
and taste it in my heart. --------------------- this is wonderful !

These stars are now within my mouth,
for this moment of forgetting.
I am the crashing wavesong, the piles of silty seaweed.
Truth is I never was another, I only was pretending. ------------- fantastic poetry and truth. I was held in thrall. romantic and deliciously bitter-sweet. your talent is undeniable.

[Adam Greenfield]

Yeah, speechless. This is one I definitely will have to come back to ponder over. Hell, who knows? Maybe I'm thinking too much. I really like it, though. Nice piece.

[Shalini R]

this is beautiful
i have nothing to say
well done.