Suicide Rhyme

this is confusing and a little weird i guess :)

I've noticed that somethings not quite right.
I heard yesterday you had quite the fright.
I held your hand through most the night.
But you put up such a hard fight.
I couldn't hold on all that tight.
But I fought til day rose with the light.
Fought until you sighed with delight.
Contented with such an enormous height.
You put your foot forward and fell out of sight.

Reviews

[ketchup chips]

i really like this. :) goood work.

[Scytheriax]

I loved the rhyme scheme in this poem. I think a bit more description and imagery would make this poem a little more dimensional. The diction is simplistic but in this case it works.
I rather liked the ending, I have to say.

[paradise]

Wow this is really good

[Queen of Cards]

thnx :)

[Tree Bark]

aw it's good!