Sleeping Alone

 

The emptiness is suffocating,

And the loneliness frightens me.

You’re not here to fill the void

Or to scare my nightmares away.

 

You’ve become a memory

taking form in my mind

to taunt me in my solitude

as this ghost I can’t touch.

 

The ghost lying beside me,

only making me cold,

where you used to lie,

making sure I was warm.

 

My bed has become a prison

in which sleep is slow in coming

and the dreams that rise

do little to break the bars.

Reviews

[siri]

this is so familiar i have figured out how to erase the knowledge of thinking about this is reminiscing and powerful thanks for sharing!

[Kieran James McGovern]

This is neat--not only well-written but a thing you can really feel, the solemnity, loneliness, yearning, heartache and whatnot. You phrased it all in a very "poetic" way. I'm not much a poet, but I don't think it's necessary to be one in order to really appraise something. It can speak to anyone! Well done.

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

I love that little poem . Very sad way to express what your bleeding heart shut... you miss him near you, the nights became nightmares, alone /.... Yossi

[Greystone]

Wow, is there a deep message here! ._. With so few words, you can send my mind reeling. You're nothing short of amazing. However, if I could offer a little constructive criticsm: Rhythm needs a little work. Not all poems have to rhyme, I know, but the general flow--It seems a bit... I dunno...forced.

[shinybluestars03]

Well let me say that i enjoy this piece :D
especially:
"You've become a memory
taking form in my mind
to taunt me in my solitude
as this ghost I can't touch."
Thanks for sharing and
keep on writing.

Best wishes

[Az]

To call this unique would be a tragedy. It is different from other pieces only in the way that other people wrote theirs before you did.
I am not saying stop writing, all I am saying is that in order to actually be different from other people, you might have to look at something really hard until it looks like something else.