New Friend



We we’re great.

I still remember the sensation on my lap,

                 my phone vivaciously vibrating from your texts.

The laughter traveled into the tips of my fingers, tapping away as I race to send my thought before yours.

It was always a race that I seemed to lose.

We could connect and understand each other, almost coinciding our minds.

There was a stream, a purity, flow.

Then it seemed that you got stuck between  a rock and a hard place.

I tried to mend you without changing you, to support you without breaking myself, to want you more than I wanted myself.

We we’re ok.

I saw that you were encapsulating your own poison and though you did not down it all at once

You drank doses.

Drips in your coffee, your water, your wine

your tears, off your tongue into

Our river.

Instead of moving the hard place you let it adapt and transposed the sadness into anger, anger into isolation.

Out of the two you chose to throw the rock into our river.

You threw in what supported you the most.

Disruption.

As I saw our river slowly revert itself into a stream and then into a leak I ventured off.

Seeking and finding a flow that was raging.

Time allotted and things grew, life bloomed, and even when rocks would fall into that river it flourished.

The water like a mother embraced each rock, coursed over and buffed the cracks into sheik smooth stones.

“A complex network or interconnected system”

We created an ecosystem.

Though I do miss the river I shared with you my old friend I do not want it.

Thank you for making me realize I deserve better.

Thank you for giving me your problems because now I know I can handle a hell of a lot more than I thought

Even without the support I wanted, but gave instead.

Thank you for using me so I now I know how it feels to be appreciated

Thank you for making me breathe in toxicities, so I know to be grateful for a breath of fresh air.

                 Without you disrupting our flow, I would’ve be poisoned by the snake I was too blind to know.