Fall Love

This is a poem from a previous account. It also was published by the American Library of Poetry this summer. (2017) So if you've seen it before thats probably where.

The leaves fall as the air is chill,
His eyes pierce my soul glistening at will.
As he holds me the world melts away,
I fall more in love with him every day.
His arms around me making me feel safe,
In the distance we could hear the enemy's strafe.
A country at war with us in the middle,
We go home and he cooks for me on the griddle.
As we eat i stare at the fire a blaze,
Like our love for which i praise.
He kisses me softly on the cheek,
outside the survival of humanity looks bleak.
Inside our love blossoms,
Ignoring all the worlds problems.
The sounds of war get closer scaring me,
I cuddle in his chest and he says, "It's ok love together are we."
His words are of a writer calming,
He holds me closer and i'm softly yawning.
This world makes me weak,
To me and him together we're safe and we let this fall love leak.

Reviews

[Zoe Richardson]

You have an interesting juxtaposition here. I don't hold to hard and fast rules for poetry, but a balanced rhyme scheme (same number of syllables) makes a seamless reading experience. The reader doesn't have to start and stop to adjust the rhythm in their head. It takes a little practice, so just keep writing. You'll get there!

[chimetime]

I love the feeling behind this. Love stands against conflict.

I can only suggest revision on two couplets.
"He kisses me softly on the cheek,
outside the survival of humanity looks bleak. "
8 syllables vs 13
The sounds of war get closer scaring me,
I cuddle in his chest and he says, "It's ok love together are we."
10 syllables vs 17

The last couplet is 5 to 16, but it works for some reason.

[WolfRReaper (Lilith/Alex)]

Thanks. :) To be honest though I've never truely tried to write poetry propely, so I wasn't taking into account the number syllables or anything like that. I'll definatly look into it though.