Opacus Sententia

Just an odd few lines I put together on a bus journey after seeing a crow. I entitled the poem as such because of the history attached to latin, and wanted to place it amongst a Roman prophecy.

The legend proclaimed a soaring darkness

Indigestible by mere mortal thought

Swifter than the velocity of an idea

We were harmless...

 

Author's Note

I believe this poem really is a matter of perception. I'm not sure whether its finished or not, i've had it lying around for a while unsure as to whether it is complete in its own right or not. Any feedback would be appreciated.

Reviews

[J Fra]

I think this is deep. I think you are talented for sure. I like it. I feel like i could spend hours rereading it, deriving new meanings from it each time.

I don't know much on poetry so that is basically all I can say :/ .

[Hellslastwarrior]

One of my favourite poems you have written, my favourite line was "We were harmless..." Adds such an inocence to it and in a way i can conjure a character in my own mind from that one line.
If you don't mind me asking what was it about the crow you saw on the bus that inspired this short piece of work?
Loved it keep it up mate!

[Lydia]

Even though this is short, it definitely stands on its own (not that adding to it would hurt a bit). I, like you, am always writing little blips down about random things I see or hear throughout the day, and even though not all of them turn into poems, it's really a relief to sort one's mind out in such a way. Anyway, this piece is really descriptive for being so short and for not really describing anything in particular, both of which are pretty hard to do, and really well done here. Great job, I'd like to read a v.2 if you ever extend this :)

[Leanne Conway]

I think more can be added to it. But anyway, It's nicely done.