N&M: Chapter Two

Here is Chapter Two First Sight

Chapter Two

The First Sight

 

            I walked through the hallway in a nice quick pace. I had at least five minutes before I was going to be late for my class. Although, most teachers would let you slide on the first week, but not this woman. Mrs. Weber wanted you in the class at eight no excuses. If you were late then you would get detention. You did not want detention with this woman. She could crush all of your hopes and dreams. I knew this more than most people. She was my second, fifth, and eighth grade teacher. I swear she had been following me although my academic career.

            One minute left, I stood before the classroom door knob. My hand shook as I reached for the door knob. It felt like I was about to open the door to Hell. I couldn’t be late so I opened the door. I was about to do a dive through the door. Instead I found a hand blocking my way. I looked up and found Mrs. Weber in front of me.  She was staring at her wristwatch. I knew exactly what she was doing. She did this crap to me in middle school.  She was stopping me from entering her room, making me late, and then giving me detention.

             I am smarter now and knew exactly what to do. I squeezed between her and doorway. She was as skinny as a stick so there was plenty of room for me to move. By the time, she knew what happened I was on the other side of the door.

            “You’re late?” she said almost proudly.

            I said “No, I’m not ma’am.” I tried my best not to gloat or at least make it sound like I wasn’t.

            She turned around to see that I was behind her. I could see the disappointment in her face. Yeah, take that you little witch I thought to myself. This wasn’t the end and I knew it. I just won a small battle in a year long war. I silently walked to an empty seat.  It wasn’t good to provoke the witch too much.

            That was exactly what she looked like the wicked witch from the Wizard of Oz. She had big crooked nose, small lips, and small beady black eyes. She also had black hair that was put into a big bun. It gave me shivers down my back every time I see her. She closed the door and moved to the front of the class like a snake.

            “Good morning class, my name is Mrs. Weber. That is what you will call me. Not Mrs. W or Mr. Webb. Anything other than Mrs. Weber will earn you a detention.”

            She really loved handing out detention. I watched as the class became deadly quiet. She had everyone’s attention and we knew she meant business. Then we heard a knock on the door and then it opened up. On the other side of the door, there was a beautiful girl. She was so beautiful that every male’s jaw practically dropped.  She was tall as a normal girl with model figure. She had long black curls above her perfect face.  She also had big brown eyes.

            “You are late.” Mrs. Weber said menacingly.

            The girl said “I wouldn’t be if someone….”

            “Enough!” She shouted so loudly that everyone jumped. Then she said calmly “You will report here after school for dentition.”

            The girl’s face fell as she began to walk toward an empty seat. Lucky for me, the only seat available was next to me. I tried not to look at her as everyone else was doing. There was even a couple of time that guys would try to flirt with her. Even as Mrs. Weber was starting her lesson. I could see that she found it disgusting. I tried to focus on Mrs. Weber, but I found it hard focus as the smell of strawberry filled the air. It was almost intoxicating. I couldn’t think or even focus on anything.

            My mind raced as I tried to focus on something else or anything else. What was this spell over me and maybe over every guy in the class, I asked myself. I looked at all guys still staring at her with their mouth opened. Mrs. Weber had to stop the class twice to tell some of boys to pay attention. I was thankful that I wasn’t one of them. As soon as the bell rang I practically ran out of my seat. Once outside the classroom, all I could think about was her.

            That was the only class I had with the girl. I was kind of happy about that. With my brain now cleared, my morning classes became a breeze. They were all practically the same, introduction, read syllabus, little lecture, and then leave for the next class. I wasn’t complaining I enjoyed the classes and not having homework. The teachers seemed nice and some of the classes weren’t full with jerks. I begun to think maybe this year wouldn’t be so bad.

            At lunch, I arrived at the cafeteria. It was huge place and of course its students could eat outside when the weather nice. This was one of those nice days. I got my lunch tray full of food, then heading out of the room, and walked outside into the glorious sunshine. I wasn’t the only one who decided to eat outside. Most of the staff and students were outside too. Most of the tables were already taken and full of people. There was only one table left with this seats.

            Only the boy from this morning was also sitting one of them. He was eating his lunch as the people around were looking and whispering about him. I thought about going back into the cafeteria. Something made me stop I guessed I just didn’t want eat alone. I walked over to the table as the boy was eating some fries.

            “Yo man, can I sit with you?” I asked him.

            He looked up at me. “Sit where you like, but watch out for flying food.”

            “What?”

            He said “I advise you to duck.” I quickly realized what he was talking about as a ball of macaroni flew past my head. It moved as fast as a pitcher’s fast ball. It crashed onto a tree’s trunk.

            “What the hell?” I said turning around. I noticed Dylan and his friends were sitting at the table right next to us. They were laughing as Anna got out of her seat and hit one of the boys. She didn’t looked to happy after all the ball nearly took my head off.

            The boy said “Nice reflexes.”

            “Thanks.” I took my seat in front of him.

            He said “Not a very good place to seat.” Even thought he was talking to me. I have poor social skill, but even I had better skills than him. Another ball of food came flying at us from the pitcher. We moved our head out of the way.  It crashed into the tree trunk. It was pretty annoying fast.

            “We don’t we moved to another table.” I asked as the chatter from the other table got louder.

            He said plainly “And what give them the satisfaction of me moving. Any way do you see any other table?” He had me there. Then we dodged another ball of food aimed our head.

            “Excuse me.” A sweet voice said behind me. I already knew who it was as the smell of fresh strawberries filled the air. I turned around to see the girl from class standing right behind me. “Do you mind with I sat with you guys?”

            I replied “Of course.”

            ‘Do what you want.” He said before eating his fries. Then he looked up and seemed to be looking past us. I guessed he was probably looking at Dylan’s group. As much as Dylan wasn’t afraid of hitting me, I didn’t think he would risk hitting a girl. Even he had some honor.

            “How were everyone’s morning classes?” she said trying the break ice, “By the way my name is Samantha Matthews, but you guys can call me Sam.”

            I said “Fine, I guess. My name is Alan.” There was a shock expression on her face. I wondered why, but before I could ask her.

            The boy spited out “This day suck! Oh my name is Darius.”

            Then he got up from his seat with his now emptied tray. As soon as he was away from table, a ball of mash potatoes flew toward him. It was about to hit in the back when he suddenly turn around. He caught it with his bare hand and he didn’t crush it.  Then he threw back at the boy hitting him right in the forehead. The boy hit the ground while everyone grasped. Then Darius continued on his way while everyone looked angrily at him.

            He was quickly becoming public enemy number one. I saw a tight grin from the corner of his mouth. He was actually enjoying himself.  Sam and I watched as he faded away in the distance.

            “What is his problem?” she asked me.

            I replied “I think he’s trying to be a bad a*s or just has some serious issues.” She simply nodded her head and turned back to me.

            “You seem to be feeling better.” She asked with a smile. I was feeling better, but soon light heading feeling was started coming back. It took me some time find the words I wanted to say.

            “What do you mean?”

            She said “Well after class you ran out of there faster than a jack rabbit. It was kind of weird.”

            “Sorry about that, I just wanted to get to my next class.” It was worst lie I have told. I have told my sister plenty of lies.

            She let it go. “Okay.” I practically crashed and burned on that one. I heard faint girly giggles coming from behind. I knew it must be Anna and friends watching us. I was so embarrassed that my face was probably turned red. She didn’t seem to mind as she ate her food silently. I did the same not wishing to mess with her anymore.

            When the bell finally rang ending the lunch period, I for one was thrilled. Keeping some distance between me and her was a good thing. It allowed me to think clearly and relax. I didn’t ran like I did before instead I politely said my good bye and then walked away. Then I walked back into the cafeteria. I found Darius sitting alone reading a book. I had a little free time before I need to head back to class. I walked over to him.

            He didn’t even look up “Did you at least get her phone number?”

            “No, I made a completely a*s of myself.” I replied letting out a hard sigh, “Is that why you left?”

            He answered “It seem like you want some alone time with the lady. Who am I to get involved?” He closed his book and stood up. “If I were you and like the girl, I would ask her out soon. I know a lot of guys who are dying to do the same.”

            Then he started walking toward the door. I called “Thanks for the advice. Here some in return, let Dylan have his fun? The more you fight, the harder he will be on you.”

            Darius smiled “This should fun because I never lose and I’m not going to start now. So tell your friend he should stop otherwise I will stop playing around.” Then he get up from his seat and left with everyone watching him.

            I felt like it was my duty to at least give Dylan his threat. Behind me the door opened up. Dylan, my sister, and their friends burst through all loud and annoying.          “Dylan, man I need to talk you for a minute.” I said to him who nodded his head. He released my sister and followed me out into the hallway. Once we were alone I told him everything Darius said. Dylan looked unafraid, and also had an amusing grin. He acted like this was one big joke. I knew Dylan will push Darius far enough he is incapable of anything.

            “Listen man; just go easy on him, he’s okay guy.”

            Dylan said “Who do you think you are to give me orders?” I could tell take his temper was heating up.

            “I’m giving some advice, but if you don’t want to take it. Fine, don’t be mad at me when you have black eye for picture day.” I said as I walked away then I stopped. “And we both know what happens when we are caught fighting.”

            We kicked off the basketball team. The rest of the day went by smoothly for me at least. My teachers all seem fine and didn’t have any classes with Darius or Dylan. I still couldn’t wait to get out of this place. Then I remembered what I had to do after school. Ugh, Grandpa’s birthday party I was not ready for that. 

Author's Note

Please don't ignore the grammar problems or anything else. I want to know what I need to fix.

Reviews

[Layla J Omorose]

Ok so on thing I would suggest is that when you have you characters thinking or have a thought come across it should be in italics so that it doesn't blend in the rest of the paragraph. But that is just a minor suggestion and something that i do in my own writings. Also your description of the girl is a little confusing. For instance you write " She was tall as a normal girl with model figure. She had long black curls above her perfect face. She also had big brown eyes." perhaps if you said something like "Though she was average in height she had a figure that any model would be jealous of. Her long black curls were pinned above her head and showed off her big brown eyes." I say this because by saying that her long curls are long but above her face the reader become a little confused (or at least I did). I didn't know if you were saying that she had long curls that were pinned up or that they were short. Also you do not describe her to the reader but y saying that she is beautiful. Besides her long curly hair, slim body, and brown eyes what makes her so beautiful. You should explain her beauty and give a description of her face. for instance does she have high cheek bones, full lips, a straight nose...etc.

There were also small grammatical errors that are easily fixed with another once over read. Also you shift between tense. I suggest that you focus on using with past tense or present tense to tell the story so that it doesn't become confusing to the reader and so that the sentences and paragraphs flow perfectly together. With a little rewording this would be a prefect piece....but even so I enjoyed it and look forward to you next entry.

[Shep]

Ok I will start with great story you gave me enough to want to turn the page.

But the sentence structure needs some serious help in spots. Like wrong word usage. . Words that have no meaning. It takes you away from the story. It would take me an hour to underline each and everyone for you, but I have been burned too many times. If you ask me personly. I'd wait to see first how well you review me. I am a serious reader and reviewer and I am willing too help. But my price is high. All I am asking in return is you read And review my entire series what's. Behind the looking glass. And I will go to bat for you. In fact I will read all your novels top to bottom and help you if you do the same for me. If you want proof that I mean what I say. Ask Sm Garcia and. TKberry and others.

[melissa]

Wow Dylan needs to grow up instead of acting like a kid but a great book I seem to can't stop reading it that is how good it is

[Francesca]

I love the humor in this chapter. I really like Alan's character and you've shown his personality pretty well. Same with Dylan. In the second paragraph, you repeat a lot of words (doorknob, door, etc), so you need different words for them. I really think you should review the grammar, because sometimes it's hard to understand the narration when the sentences are unclear. Also I think it could really benefit from some slower description...Meaning drawing things out and just plain taking your time. Anyway, just suggestions. Great chapter, and you have really good character development in it :)

[Renay]

The plot is interesting and with a bit of clean up for grammacital errors would be even better.

Now, like I said the plot is interesting but, to me it would be even better if you read back over it and changed your sentence flow some. Instead of the sentences being all the same length try changing to where some are short, some longer than others. For instance: Although most teachers would let you slide on the first week, Mrs. Weber wasn't one of them. She wanted you in class at eitght, no excuses. Being late means detention, which believe me you do not want her.

To me that sounds/flows better than the style used.

Hope that you keep posting though because your ideas are interesting.