Chapter 1: Burning Tokyo

This chapter picks up from where the last book left all in Tokyo.

 

          Black smoke rose above the burning city of Tokyo as Amelia looked down from the top of the Tokyo tower. The wind blew her long silk like red hair as the smell of burning flesh entered his nose. She couldn’t believe the carnage her kind was doing. Her kind, the angels once guardian of humanity was now slaughtering them like lambs. She wanted nothing more than to go to down there and put a stop to it all with her fists. However she knew she couldn’t do that. She sadly had more important things to do. She had to find a holy artifact .An item in the wrong hands could destroy the universe. Finding it would be harder in all this madness.

          “Amelia, we think might have found the item.” She turned around to find both Matt Portman and Jessica Yikes sitting on the ground. They were in front of Jessica’s laptop typing away.

          Matt was veteran of the first human and angel war. His side lost and he was imprisoned in Limbo an angelical prison. He was the first person to escape and had joined Amelia’s group. He was a young rough looking man with short brown hair and brown eyes. Jessica was young petite woman who was also happened to a brilliant hacker. Jessica seemed to Amelia’s helpful sidekick always giving her some back up. Amelia walked toward them and looked that the hologram screen.

          “Okay, I looked up any sites on shrines or any other holy sites in databases and I found one particular Shinto shrines, Ise.”  Jessica said putting a picture on the screen with some information. 

          Ise Grand shrine was the oldest shrine in Japan and it looked absolutely beautiful worthy of any god or goddess. It was a huge wooden temple with holy paper wrapped around it surround by other small shrines. It was also located on island making it harder for tourists to gain access to. However with all the things happening, it should make it a lot easier for Amelia and her group to enter.

          “So I have two questions for you. One what is Shinto and tow how are we going to get to Ise Island?” Matt said looking at both Amelia and Jessica.

          Amelia took a couple of steps back and then spread her wings which was pearl white. “Shinto is Japanese deities that people worship and we are going to fly there.”

          “You know I hate flying.”

          Amelia said “And you know it’s the fastest way to travel. Jessica, get your things.”

          Jessica started picking up her laptop and putting into her bag while Matt looked at the city below. He couldn’t believe all this for a sacred item. Amelia and Jessica walked over and he took a deep sighed.

          “Let’s get this done and over with” He walked back to the others and Amelia grabbed his waist. “This is going to get real old really fast.”

          Amelia then took off into the air. They flew above the city watching the angels wearing old fashion armor fighting the Japanese army. One of the angels lifted up a Japanese tank and tossed into the building. Jessica tried her best not to look down, but she couldn’t help but look down. Amelia kept looking straight and focused on where she was going. They continued flew until they reached the sea. Below them, people were gathering any boats they could get their hands on. They were heading for Ise Island what better place to be then a holy shrine.

          Amelia and her gang arrived at the island it was already crowd with people. It looked like everyone in Japan was here. She landed at a isolated area not to cause panic.

          Jessica said “Did anyone see us?”

          “Nope, but it’s going to be hard blending in here with all these people.” Matt said looking at more boats was entering the harbor. “Let’s get this item and get the hell out of here before the angels get wind of this place.”

          They walked to one of the fence protecting the shrine. Amelia threw Matt and Jessica over before leaping over herself. The inner shrine was very deserted unlike the outer layer. They were walked into the shrine easy. Amelia tried to sense anything that gave off any sort of mystical energy, but sadly sensed nothing. Jessica looked at her waist computer and pulled out layout of the place.  

          “Okay there are two main shrines. I guess the item would be in one of them. I think we should split up. Matt, you will take one.  Amelia and I will take the other.” Jessica said proudly.

          “Hey, why do you get to stay with the robot?” Matt said.

          Amelia said “Awwww, you want me to hold your hand to make sure you get lost.”

          “You know what I can take care of myself.” Matt said the he marched away from the two women.

          Amelia and Jessica looked at each and then started walking the opposite direction heading to the large shrine. There was silence in the air as they walked closer into the shrine. Amelia didn’t know what to expect of the shrine. All she knew there could be traps and guardians to keep intruders away. The area was silent, but Amelia felt a little bit weird. They arrived at the temple wooden door, Jessica was about to open it when Amelia stopped her.

          “What? We are so close to finding this thing.”

          Amelia said “Let me go first we don’t know what is in there?”Then Amelia opened the door revealing a huge dark room. In the other side of the room, they found a shrine with wooden box in the center. Amelia walked over toward it when she suddenly started getting a weird. Suddenly she started sensing angels in the room. She wondered how could have gotten here so quickly. Then arrow sent straight for her head. She caught it just in time and signaled Jessica to stay where she was. Jessica stayed neared the door when it suddenly closed.

          “How cliché?” Jessica said.

          Amelia created a longsword and ignited the flames. She didn’t how many was out there, but she could hear their movement through the darkness. It sound like there was only one of them.

          “You are not allowed here.” The man said in Japanese.

           Amelia understood what the man was saying angels knew every language known to mankind. Jessica on the other hand didn’t understand a word, but decide while Amelia and Japanese guy were busy she would go for the item.

          Amelia said “Why am I not allow be here? Aren’t we all looking for spiritual guidance?’

          The man said “Expect you’re not looking for guidance. You’re here to take what is not your.” Another arrow was sent for Amelia who deflected it with her sword. “By oath I cannot allow you to take it.”

          Amelia said “Sorry, but I can’t allow it to stay here.” She deflected another arrow from the darkness. Then Japanese man jumped out of the darkness and face Amelia. The man was shorter she was, and was wearing Japanese armor using Japanese swords. He had two swords a long katana and short wakizashi hanging from his waist. His face was hidden behind a red mask. He was a full dressed samurai

          He pulled out his katana and ignited it. She guessed there was no longer going to be talking between them. She readied herself for combat. She attacked first bringing her sword toward his head in cross cut. He parried the attack and kicked her away. Then he began attacking her with furious cuts which kept Amelia on the defense. He was forcing her back bit by bit until she started dodging his cuts moving her head out of the way. Then she ducked underneath her blade as his sword tried to cut her head off. She spun around and tried cut him at his legs, but he jumped over her. He tried to slice off her head, but blocked the sword with one hand and punched in the chest with other. The samurai slide backward before charging toward her again. Amelia rolled out the way, before trying to cut him in the back. He put his sword behind him blocking Amelia’s.

          He then turned around and elbowed Amelia in the neck. In the corner of her eye she could see Jessica getting closer to the box. Amelia realized she had to keep the samurai’s attention completely on her. The samurai rushed toward her with his sword high above his head. He brought it down with a swift movement. Amelia blocked it and kicked him in the chest. She tried to cut him down with various cuts, but the samurai was too fast. He was able block all of her attacks. He counter with a powerful strike at knocked Amelia away.

          Jessica finally got to box hearing the struggle behind her. She picked up the box and begun getting away when the samurai noticed. “Stop child.”

          Jessica said “Sorry I don’t speak Japanese.” She started running toward the door.

          “Maybe you understand me now.” This time he was speaking English. Amelia was about to strike when the samurai kicked in the chest without even turning around.

          “Put the box back, child.”

          Jessica said “Um no.” Then she started running away. She ran through the long hallway. The samurai spread his big angelical wings and soared after her. Amelia ran after them at full speed.

          Amelia spread her own wings and took off into the air. Jessica was almost to the door with the samurai right behind them. Amelia came out of the darkness and tackled the samurai. They crashed into the wooden post and then into wooden wall.

          “Give me the box.”

          Amelia said “No way.” She was holding the samurai down. He was struggling but couldn’t break Amelia’s iron grip.

          “I will not lose my honor to a couple of girls.” He said breaking free of her grip. Amelia turned him around.

          Amelia said “Too late.” Then she punched him in the face. He rocketed away finally crashing into the shrine. “Oh sorry about that.” She flew up toward Jessica and picked her up. They flew through the wooden door and down the long stairway.

          Once they got to outside, Amelia landed on the ground. Amelia released Jessica who had the box in a death grip. “I wonder what it is. It felt so light.”

          Amelia didn’t understand and took the box from Jessica. She was right it was as light as feather or something. She opened the wooden box and revealed there was nothing in there. She showed Jessica who looked surprised. The samurai had tricked them. She thought that the samurai were probably laughing at them. if the item wasn’t in this shrine. Then it must be in the other shrine with Matt. She just hoped that Matt would have better luck finding it then she had

Author's Note

Please don't ignore grammar problems and tell me everything that is wrong

Reviews

[Shep]

Oh let's. See. I think I need a new word to discribe this chapter... nope can't. It justs reeks with awesome.

[melissa]

Awsome chapter I can't wait to read the rest

[Shadowofthemoon]

This was pretty cool, I did not understand some of it. Like here: Then Japanese man jumped out of the darkness and face Amelia. That sentence is all wrong, you could say. Then the Japanese man jumped out of the darkness to face Amelia. The other way just sounds weird. Also if they are angels, why are they against them and why do they not want the angels to get the artifact? That wasn't clearly explained, at least to my eyes. I also agree with Dog Meat Todd below me, what time period is this? I know it's fantasy but it still has to make sence some times xD

[Meat of Dog]

Ooh! This cool. I haven't read a story of this genre in a long time so I am enjoying it already. I liked this line a lot: “Let’s get this item and get the hell out of here before the angels get wind of this place.” Whether or not you did so intentionally, it was a great satire, or juxtaposition. I really also enjoy how you made the angels very powerful, but not godlike and invincible. Such as they know ever language and are super strong, but can still be fought by other angels, imprisoned, and what not.

What time frame is this based in? It's a little weird having samurai soldiers AND laptop computers. Do the angels have futuristic technology in old era Japan? There's a nice sense of importance attributed to Amelia, considering her powers over her companions as an angel, making her feel like a key to their successes. This had me identifying with her almost as looking over them and motherly, as oppose to just another member of the team.

There was a nice cliffhanger at the end of this chapter, which roped me in for the next. I will be interested to see what happens in the next shrine with Matt!

other suggestions:
-"couldn’t believe the carnage her kind was doing" this sentence read a little awkwardly. Carnage isn't really something you DO. Maybe change it to 'the carnage her kind was causing'.

-"and tow how are we going" remove tow?

-This is an opinion comment, but the very beginning of this chapter feels like a lot of exposition dropped in my lap in a very short time. Instead of giving complete descriptions of the characters and events right up front, perhaps be a little more reserved and reveal more information as the story unfolds.

-"already crowd with" crowded

-"suddenly started getting a weird. Suddenly" Weird feeling?

-“Give me the box.” Perhaps it would be good to shake up the punctuation a little in this story. Periods are great, but sometimes a little change would be nice. here, for instance, unless you intended the Japanese angel to be sort of emotionless and deadpan (aka Nicholas Cage style) then it would make sense, otherwise an exclamation mark would work better for emphasis.

[sinfulThoughts]

Very imaginative and powerful writing. So the story a favour and fine-tune the grammar a bit - the story deserves it!

[Liza]

Powerful; as if you are touched by an angel and their realm. I admire your imagination and discipline to work and build your story. It is inspiring.