The Monster

The Monster

A Poem by .quan.011.
"

This is my first and last peom probably

"

 

I feel like there's a monster inside of me trying to get out

It's tears, howls, and its rips at my soul

But I know if it does get out 

 it will destroy everything

Leaving only ashes as it laughs at my hopes and dreams

It’s the reason I am alone

And that’s just the way it likes it.

© 2010 .quan.011.


Author's Note

.quan.011.
Please ignore the grammar problems

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Reviews

The metaphor could be related to in several different ways, which is a good thing, since there are a variety of readers. It does have a good amount of emotion within it that impacts the reader. Great write crafted here, once again.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Great poem

Posted 13 Years Ago


nicely done with descriptions and words; it reminds me the book I'm reading with "the monster" of the book series "Crank". The poem was short and simple so even with the grammar problems which seems few; well done and keep up the excellent work as the poem relates to many people who stay alone to keep their inner monster alone.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I think that you could possibly reword "But I know if it does get out " to make it less repetitive, and make the end a bit stronger from the third line on, but otherwise, nice job. Great concept :)

-Coral-

Posted 14 Years Ago


It made me think you don't like how you are inside. And it takes work to stay in control. I liked it except one line "it's tears, howls, and its tears" I think it needs more explaing.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Good write. Good expression of being lost, not understanding yourself. this is a little rough for a short read.
"It's tears, howls, and its tears" Repetition and word use, what were you saying?
Final line makes sense, in conversation. You may want to rethink the wording a little just to liven the piece as a whole.

Posted 14 Years Ago


The monster inside that you have described is commonly called your shadow side. If you don't confront it and deal with it whilst incarnate - you will have to confront it after death as the Dweller on the Threshold. An excellent metaphysical description. Please write more.

Posted 14 Years Ago


This is a good poem. I feel like this too. I understand how you feel. Good poem. :)
Thanks for sharing. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


I love the first and last lines

Posted 14 Years Ago


Exactly! You made me believe this is how I should feel every day of my life. You made it so real. It talked to me.

Right on.


Posted 14 Years Ago



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398 Views
16 Reviews
Added on September 19, 2010
Last Updated on October 6, 2010
Tags: Evil

Author

.quan.011.
.quan.011.

Newark, DE



About
Hello my name is Quan and I'm new here. I write a complete of stories that I will update. I don't do any peoms, because I'm not good at them. Thanks for reading and review my work. My Novel .. more..

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