Weird Times in Oscar High Pilot Act 1

Act One

 

EXT. OLD RUN DOWN WAREHOUSE �" ABBYVILLE, KANSAS - NIGHT

 

A young couple entered the warehouse walking through a long hallway with purple lights on the floor leading to the club where there is a DJ playing hip hop tracks. People were dancing on the dance floor, having drinks at the bar, in another room was ring were SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD ABEL was fighting a guy for a crowd amusement. Abel was tall for his age and had black short hair. With one powerful punch, Abel knocked the guy onto the ground as the crowd went crazy. Some were cheering while others were booing. The announcer walked onto the ring.

 

The announcer:

Come on people. Are you going to let this teenage punk take all your hard earned cash?

 

The crowd:

NO!

 

A Guy (O.S):

I’ll take this kid on. I have no problem beating on a brat.

 

The guy walked out of the crowd as people patted him on the back and cheered even louder. The guy took off his shirt revealing his beer belly. Abel didn’t look at him as the guy got into his fighting stance.

The announcer:

Are you ready? (The guy smiled and nodded his head) Fight!

 

The guy bounced around, trying to scare him with fake punches, but Abel didn’t look afraid of him or didn’t blink. The guy looked a little angry. Then he threw his first real punch only to see Abel finally make a move. He dodged the attack, but didn’t throw a punch. The guy tried to hit him a couple of more times, but Abel ducked and dodged him. Again Abel didn’t attack him. Then after another punch, Abel final made his move. He caught one of the guy’s fists and when the guy tried to hit with the other hand he caught that one too. Next, he started squeezing until it started cracking. Abel then head butted him sending him crashing the ground.

 

The screen shows an x-ray of guy’s nose getting broken by Abel’s skull.

 

 The crowd went crazy as they went to collect the guy and pulled him off the guy. Abel walked to the corner of the ring and drank some water from a bottle.

 

 

The announcer:

The winner is Abel!

 

The scene changed to the club being empty expects for the announcer and the bartender sitting down at the bar counting the revenue for the night.

 

Abel walked out of his small room and walked to them. Abel looked a bit grim as he stood in front of them. Without even looking at him, the announcer gave him a small pile of cash. Abel counted the cash in seconds.

 

Abel:

You’re short six hundred dollars.

 

The announcer:

I thought that since I am keeping all these secrets from the government you wouldn’t mind sharing more of your share.

 

Abel:

So you are blackmailing again after what happened the other time.

 

The announcer:

 (Snapped his fingers)

Things have changed.

 

Three guys walked out of the shadow, all bigger than Abel, and looking very grimed as they circled him. Abel didn’t seem afraid or even worried as he watched the men pumped themselves up, flexing their muscles, before he could strike. He punch the first guy in the stomach making him throw up before kicking in the second in the head sending him crashing to the ground. The last guy looked down at his two partners and just ran away.

Abel turned to the announcer who looked pretty.

 

The announcer:

You want your money, fine.

 

He walked over to the pile of cash, counting it, and passed it to Abel. He takes it and counts it faster than the announcer. Once done, he turned around without saying a word he left the bar. The announcer kicked the floor and the bartender revealed to be wearing an earphone.

 

The bartender: (whispered)

Sir, the target is on the move. Yes, I’ll deal with the civilian.

 

He pulled out a pistol with a silence, aimed it at the announcer’s back, and pulled the trigger. BAM! BAM!

 

EXT. Street- Night

 

We see a bus stopped at the corner and Jessica Watson getting off it carrying a small travelling bag. She walks into a corner store. The place is completely empty expect for the cashier when Abel walked into the store. Jessica walked to the back to get some water while Abel walked to the snack aisle. He grabbed some chips when five men entered the store carrying rifles wearing black masks. One of them immediately started searching the aisle while the others stayed in the front.  

 

Cashier:

What the hell are…?

 

Agent #1 points his rifle at the cashier. Cashier puts his hands in the air.

Agent #1:

Shut up, b***h. Eagle, do you see the target?

 

Eagle: (O.S)

Sir, I see… (Hears a punching noise and the sound of someone hitting the ground)

 

Agent #1

Eagle! Eagle, response now! That’s an order.

 

Nothing but silent, Agent #1 signals his men to move up on each aisle as they begin their search. The camera changes to Jessica hiding in one of the aisle as a man walked closer towards her. She looks at him as he noticed her. The guy aims his rifle when he is attacked from behind by Abel. Abel puts the guy into a sleeper hold and in seconds the guy is knocked out. Abel continued onto the other aisle where he tackles the other agent. Jessica just watched unaware that someone was behind her.

 

Agent # 1:

You might as well come out Abel.

We know everything about you. All we want to do is talk to you.

 

Abel: (O.S)

Then talk.

 

Jessica is pushed in front of the Agent #1 by the other agent. Agent #1 grabs her by the neck as the other agent covers him. He pulls out of a pistol and puts into Jessica’s head. He c***s the gun making sure Abel can hear it.

 

Agent #1:

Come out, Able or your little girlfriend going have brand new hole.

 

Abel: (O.S):

Sorry, I don’t know her.

 

Agent #1:

Yeah, I doubt you will let her die as much of a bad a*s you might be your still somewhat human.

 

Abel: (O.S)

And you are completely human. What’s your excuse?

 

Suddenly the Agent #1’s finger started playing with trigger increasing Jessica’s fear until he suddenly didn’t move and Jessica immediately realizes what she had done as she slowly turns to look at him. Then she looks around to see that both cashier and the Agent #2 were also frozen. Then Abel walked out of the aisle holding two cans of soup in his hands. He drops the soup as he looks at Agent #2 and turns to Jessica.

 

Abel:

What the hell did you just do to them?

 

Jessica:

I don’t know.

 

Abel:

Come on let’s get you out of here.

 

He helps her get out of Agent #1’s arm. Then they get out of the store, and came back and grabbed some food. They left out the door again when everyone started moving again. Everyone looks confused as Agent #1 looked at his arms while Agent #2 stood looking around for the targets.

 

Agent #2:

Sir, what the hell just happened?

 

Agent #1 looked around for his target, but sees no one expect his already down men still lying on the floor.

 

Agent #1:

I don’t know, but I going to find out. I promise you that.

 Call the helicopter, tell them the target has escape and start searching for it. Oh, and soldier get rid of the witness.

 

Agent #2 nods his head as Agent #1 beings walking out the door as in the background muffled gunshots after the cashier begs for his life.

 

INT. ABEL’S TRUCK

 

Inside of the truck, Abel was driving through the deserted street while Jessica was looked behind to make sure they weren’t being followed. She could see nothing but darkness as Abel turned a corner.

 

Jessica:

I think we lost them. You should slow down now, or the police will start chasing after us.

 

Abel ignored her and hits the gas pedal even more making the truck go even fast

 

Jessica:

Or you can just ignore me and drive even faster.

 

There is an awkward silence.

 

Jessica:

So are you a mutant too?

My name is Jessica.

 

Abel:

Ok, fine I’ll bite. Yes, I am a mutant, my name is Abel, and no just because we both mutants does not mean we have some kind of special bond or connection. Once we are safe we will go our separate ways, Okay?

 

Jessica:

Fine, sure.

 

Abel turned another corner and got onto the highway when two black SUVs appeared right behind them. They started gaining on them. Jessica sees them and turns to Abel.

 

Jessica:

They found us!

 

Abel:

Yeah, they’re already calling in the helicopter. Damn it.

 

Then above them a light shine on them and begin following them as the helicopter got into position.

 

Abel:

Don’t you have some kind of power we can use?

 

Jessica:

Don’t you?!

 

Abel:

Reach in the back and hand me a metal black ball.

It should be behind my seat.

 

Jessica reached into the back and sees a ball. She used both hands to pick it up because it is heavy. She brings it up front. Abel grads it and lift it up with one hand.

 

 Abel:

Take the wheel!

 

Jessica grabs the wheel as Abel opened his door. He throws the ball like as if he was pitching a baseball. It crashed through the one of the SUVs windshield causing it to hit the other SUV. Abel returns to the car and takes the wheel.

 

Jessica:

Please tell me you have another one in the back.

 

Abel:

No that was the only one and

I was going to sell that.

 

They were heading for the bridge with the helicopter still right behind them.

Helicopter Pilot:

Do we have permission to fire on the target?

 

Agent #1 (in the radio)

Permission granted.

 

Helicopter fired two missiles that hit truck’s back turning it into the fireball and sent it crashing into the river. Helicopter hovered for a moment to make sure no one came back up. After a few moments,

Helicopter Pilot:

We have confirmed the kill. I repeat we have confirmed the kill.

No one could make it out of that alive.

 

Agent #1:

What a waste we could have done great things with a boy like that. Come home, boys.

 

Helicopter gains aptitude as it begins flying away unaware that near the shore. Abel walks out of the ocean carrying Jessica bridal style. His clothes were all burnt. Jessica was knocked out, but very much alive. He gets her to the beach before passing out himself. They were lying in the sand when shadowy figures appears and grabbs them both.

 

Screen FADE IN DARK

 

End of Act 1

Author's Note

Thanks for all the feedback and keep them coming becasue I want to make this good for my readers

Reviews

[melissa]

Awsome play love it

[Mary Evans]

Dear Quan,

I find your statement about me looking at this as a book and not a TV show script not entirely correct. I, in fact, happen to be a trained scriptwriter, so i have a pretty clear idea what a script should look like. And trust me, camera directions do not belong in there. It's the director's job to decide on them and as directors don't meddle in scripts, scripts should not meddle in camera direction. And the main reason is that other than driving any normal director, and actor for that matter, nuts, they cause confusion rather than help people imagine the story. (Imagine yourself as an actor having to go though needless notes of cameras when you have to act out a simple role or a director to whom it looks as if the scriptwriter thinks he's more capable in shooting than him.)
However, there is a way to put camera directions if its absolutely needed, and that's brackets or any other way that shows its clearly separated from the story line as a note.

Still i suggest you do not use camera directions if you don't have any knowledge of how cinematography works. Don't do the directors job, and if you want to be a director, as i said, put it as a clearly separated and unrelated note. Camera directions are technical details and script is an outline of a story, they should not be mixed together, it makes it overcomplicated to produce.

Best regards, T. Hawkins

[.quan.011.]

Dear. T.Hawkins (by the way love the name)
You know that I love your feedback and everything you put in an review. I think the reason you having so much problem with this ia that you're not looking at it as a tv show more like a book. When I write camea changes I really just writing down how I see the scene happening and I hope the reader sees it too. Think of it more as a director view. Okay? Oh yeah, you said that it reminds you of Xmen 1. I advise you to keep reading you find its very different.
Thanks Quan

[Mary Evans]

Here's my feedback:

1: Descriptions need to be in present. Already mentioned that last time.

2: "SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD ABEL" You caps only the name of the character when he/she first appears in the scene. And you never mention age that's for the character sketches it has no place in description, after all the actor cant play out "seventeen years old" unless its mention he has to behave as one and even then you need details. Anyways my point is - you don't put age in descriptions unless its said, written, pointed out, stuck on the characters forehead or something.

3: "The screen shows an x-ray of guy’s nose getting broken by Abel’s skull." I don't know what is that but i don't think it belongs in there. What screen? Elaborate or remove. If its attempt to show a technique or something like that in shooting or editing remove it. You are a scriptwriter not a director or video editor, you don't describe the technical stuff.

4: "The scene changed" No. If the scene changed its a new scene, write it as such.

5: "BAM! BAM!" if its a sound say so, don't leave it bare like that.

6: "The camera changes." No camera directions. You are the story, not the techniques used to shoot it. "Screen FADE IN DARK" No, again.

7: Mentioned something about capitalizing the names of the characters when they first appear in the scenes above, take a note of that.

8: Horrifying grammar.

9: Still reminds me hell of a lot of the X-men movies, not good.

Apart from all that its a nice story but it need some touches here and there, stylistically and grammatically i mean.

And try to evade making the plot line so similar to X-men 1. Girl makes boyfriend become sick on touch, girl runs away, girl meats guy who fights for money, guy acts tough says she shouldn't consider them bonded guy saves her after an accident. He's all tattered and burned but unhurt. Gee, where does that come from?

[Cherry Blossom]

WoW this is so cool I can see this play on tv its kind of like rockey and die hard at the same time keep going with it I think you got somthing here Yes I love action movies!