Cause and Effect

a Multilingual Poem about the barriers of languages and communication. A barrier I hope one day can be removed.

Silencio, por favor,

porque quiero more amor.

Mi alma quiere algo

como the works of Van Gogh.

No pienso está mal

si la gente se conocerían in the hall.

Cuando ustedes saben that this poem

es sobre the lands that we roam.

¿Por que la lenguas that we speak

divide nosotros week to week?

Si hablas a una persona en una lengua que entiende, las palabras irán a su cabeza. 

Interesting how it took a great man to make us this promesa. 

Si le hablas en su propia lengua, las palabras irán a su corazón.

These words are the wisest way to explore the unknown.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

Huy, amigo, un valiente intento a escribir en español. No sé tu nivel exacta en la lengua, pero tienes un par de errores en el español. ¿Te importa si te los ayudo corregirlos?

This is an intriguing piece overall and I absolutely enjoyed the message you're conveying through it. Language makes the world go round, and definitely touches the heart if it's a conversation in one's native tongue. Great concept and great effort (such a shame a lot of people are too monolingual to comprehend).

[QRamble]

thank you. yes, you can review; My Spanish is intermediate at best, so I would have assumed I made mistakes lol.

[emipoemi]

Listo pues:

"No pienso está mal" - this and the following are more advanced levels of Spanish as it involves the subjunctive (at least the following definitely does, and this one does if they connect). I at first thought you might be wanting to say "no pienso estar mal" but that's subjective and puts the "estar mal" on you but I think you're wanting to say "no pienso *que esté mal...." you need the "que" when you continue the phrase like that, as it's one way Spanish differs from English (not so willing to make "that" dispensable....subjective pronouns, sure, but not the conjunctival "that"). and the subjunctive is because "no pienso" is a negated Head Verb so it takes the subjunctive.

"si la gente se conocerían in the hall" - "conocerían is conditional and NEVER is used with a "si" clause, therefore: "si la gente se *conocieran in the hall: (in such a case you could also say "conocen"). However, conocer is to meet as in to get to know.....you want reunirse - "se reunieran" or respectively "se reunen")

"Por que la lenguas that we speak" - Por *qué (need the accent), *las lenguas (because it's plural - giving you the benefit of the doubt that it's a typo, but have to bring your attention to it anyway).

Allí va. Muy buen hecho de todos modos. Un valiente intento. Espero que te haya ayudado.