Diving Off A Cliff

Upon this cliff I'm gripped with fear;
Do I dive down or stand right here?
Will I begin to swim or drown?
Or do I remain here, head down?

Shining across is yellow sun;
I wonder if my life's begun.
Beaming on my face rays of hope
in face of this slippery slope.

I stand here risking all my heart
wondering should we grow apart.

The time has come to take the dive

and that's how I will come alive!

Reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

although i am wondering what will become of this fearful tale, there are many encouraging words to make one feel that somehow through all the pain and suffering, there is hope…..taking the dive into a new beginning into a life without fear and struggle….
warmly, B🌷

[Manel]

overcoming your fear is not easy you have an inner battel to fight yourself and not giving up to hesitation
Iam really glad to read your poem my fav line is " The time has come to take the dive
and that's how I will come alive"

[QRamble]

thanks for the feedback...been a while since I've been on; but been writing some in my journal, so who knows, maybe I will have more posts.

[Wild Rose]

First instinct is to look out to sea > no not fear I just love being on high mountain tops

Then NO don't dive I want to stay alive

You don't say why you want to jump of a cliff
Was is a lovers tiff ?
what ever lost love not - No never reason to end your life

[QRamble]

It's not really about suicide or even necessarily a romantic love, although it could encompass love. It's more about taking risks. To sum it up, if we don't take the risk, things will remain the same as they are. If we do take the risk, sometimes it will lead to great reward, other times it will lead to destruction, but either way, things will not remain the same,

[Wild Rose]

Understand > just the last verse made me think that way

[emipoemi]

The theme is great, the imagery is fantastic. Your musicality in a couple of places is wonky (most evidently in Stanza 2), and you have some words stressed on the wrong sylLAble. Also, Stanza 3 Line 2 is not asking a question, so the question mark is a little odd. However, on the whole, I enjoyed this poem. And the last couple of lines really tie everything up and end on a killer note. Well done!

[H L Rose]

This analogy is great.

You depict tension in the first paragraph very well. “Upon this cliff I’m gripped with fear” I really like how this first line flows.

In the second stanza you bring in some interesting imagery. “Beaming in my face rays of hope” leads the reader to question “hope for what?” And this leads into your analogy.

You’ve built up the scene really well and then in the last stanza you bring in the analogy so perfectly. The last line works so well.

I do have a question about the form. In my research, I found a Kyrielle to have a repeating line in each stanza, but I’m thinking perhaps I don’t understand the form correctly because I see that you have not included one. What have you found to be the rules of this form that I may have missed?

I really enjoyed reading this!

[QRamble]

wow you are totally right, I completely missed this when I was looking it up.

[H L Rose]

Haha! But it’s a fantastic poem reguardless