Brandon Unlimited Chapter 3:

Brandon's hero training begins today...unfortunately he is in the worst shape Alicia has ever seen. Is he really the son of Equality?

The next morning, Brandon wakes up and jumps out of bed with an unusual vigor and energy. He gets dressed and runs down the stairs, passing his mother with youthful exuberance. Once her runs past her, he spins her around and tips her, as if they were dancing.

Lucille: Well you didn't have sex, so thats good.

Brandon: I think...I start training today...?

Lucille: Oh yea, with that Alicia girl! Well just be safe. Don't worry about your powers kiddy. You'll be fine, ok? Just listen to the girl. She might seem weird, but she know what she doing.

Brandon: Hows dad?

Lucille: Ask him yourself...

Lucille points to their bedroom

Brandon: Hes good? Ok! Well tell him I asked.

Brandon grabs his bag and he runs out the door.

Mark: I really thought he would at least check on me...

Lucille: Give it time. One night ain't enough time...

Mark: Well atleast everything is going to plan...today, he should be learning the basics in the gym.

Lucille: But, why the gym?

Mark: Perfect place. There are more teenage super-heroes out there. Gym is the only class the ones with physical abilities can express themselves. Perfect place for a teenaged-hero in training can practice.

{---In gym class---}

Alicia: So yeah, thats why...

Brandon: Oh...ok...

Alicia: So...did you think of a name yet?

Brandon: Naw. I wanted to do that once I got my powers...

Alicia: Fair enough.

Brandon: so What are we gonna do?

Alicia: Oh...just a little circuit training. You know, just to see where your physical limitations are. A little diagnostic test!

Brandon: Sweet. Sweet. So what are we doing first?

Alicia: We're going to -

WELL WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?

Brandon: Damn it, I know that voice anywhere...

Alicia: Who is it?

Brandon: Mike Beast.

Mike: Thats right nutsack! It is I in the flesh. I thought I told you what would happen if you came back in MY GYM?

Brandon: I'm sorry...I...Come on Al, we should probably go...

Alicia: WHAT?! WHY? WHO IS HE?

Mike: ARE YOU SERIOUS? BRAN-DUM has a wittle girly friend! Isnt that cute!

Alicia: I don't know you very well...do you mind saying that to my face?

Mike: Oh, shes got SPUNK too?!

Mike leans in closer to Alicia

Why don't you take your skinny, little a*s, and your geeky ladyboyfriend and get OUT my GYM, OK?

He smiles in her face afterward and taps her on the cheek. The second after he moves his hand, she grabs it and flips him over. Caught off guard, he hops back up quickly.

Mike: What the HELL?!

Alicia: You want some more? HUH? I BET you think you're pretty tough, beating up on those weaker than yourself.

Mike: I don't Hit GIRLS!

Alicia: Of course you don't! BUT I DO!

Alicia moves so fast that Brandon can't even blink before she throws a punch. Mike cringes up before the fist stops short of making contact with his face.

Scared yet?

Mike growls at her

Alicia then flicks Mike in the forehead with her index finger.

From now on, if you want to use this gym, YOU ASK ME! Is that understood?

Mike just looks at her

Alicia: Oh, not a talker?

Alicia lifts Mike up by his leg with ease

I thought you were talking big-stuff before. Oh no...a skinny, little girl has you. What now? What do we do now?!

Brandon runs over to Alicia

Let him go Al. Hes done.

Alicia lets him go and he falls on his head

Next time. I won't be so nice.

She frowns at him

The rest of the kids in the gym point and start laughing at Mike, which makes him storm off in anger

Brandon: THAT WAS AWESOME!

Alicia: You shouldn't let jerks like him scare you! First rule of hero. Be unmovable. You shake, you die.

Brandon: Got it.

Alicia: Now, climb this rope. I won't time you this time, but know that it normally is timed.

Brandon: Alright!

Alicia: Ok, well whenever you're ready...

Brandon: Ok!

Brandon grabs the rope and begins to climb up

Alicia: Keep it up! That pace! Its good!

Brandon: This...is...actually...harder than it looks...!

Alicia: You got this! Just get to the top!

Brandon: I'm tired!

Alicia: DON'T GIVE UP!

Brandon: My arms...are killing me!

Alicia: Yeah! Thats what happens! But you gotta push THROUGH THE PAIN!

Brandon: I...CAAAAAAAAANNNNN'T!

Brandon lets go of the rope once he is at the top and plummets downwards

Alicia: What do I do? I can't catch him...not right now! Damn it...

Out from nowhere, a big burly woman runs out from behind Alicia with her arms out in front of her.

Alicia: Coach Little?!

Coach: How could you let your fellow class mate climb up that high? Does he look like a perfect physical specimen?

Alicia: I just-

Brandon: AaaAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Coach Little catches Brandon in her arms

Brandon: Ok, this is getting pretty gay...

Coach Little: I won't blame you, young untrained muscle. I will however blame the female.

Alicia: Me? What did I do?

Coach: You know you could've done that. However you pushed the young man too hard. Way beyond his puny, unmanly limits.

Brandon: Hey! I'm not-Can we-!

Alicia: I'm sorry coach! It won't happen again.

Coach: See that it doesn't.

Alicia: I will.

Brandon: I like how we reached a peaceful resolution...but CAN WE PLEASE LET ME OUT OF HER ARMS?!

Alicia: Sure.

Alicia swipes real quick and pulls Brandon out from the coach's arms and pulls him over to the tether-ball pole. All Coach Little can do is look on in shock, wondering how such a little girl was capable of pulling Brandon out of her arms.

Alicia: Ok... So the next training is-

Brandon: Question: Does this involve me falling from an impossible height?

Alicia: Of course not. Its just tether-ball!

Brandon: Ok.

Alicia: Alright! Tether-ball should be a measure of your agility and rhythmic ability. Anyone can do this!

Brandon: Sweet! I can do this! Lets go!

Alicia: Ok, but I should probably warn you, this is my favorite game...

Brandon: Yeah yeah.

Alicia: Alright, the object of this game is to get the ball to wrap around the pole.

Brandon: Easy! Alright...Bring it!

Alicia assumes a crouched ready stance with the ball in her hand

Fast or slow?

Brandon: Does it matter?

The ball flies past Brandon's head and wraps around the pole.

Alicia: Yes.

Brandon: What the hell?!

Alicia: That was slow. I would say that it matters.

Brandon: Ok, lets go again. This time, let me KNOW when you're gonna hit that!

Alicia: Ok! Ok! I'm .about. to. hit. the. Ball.

Brandon: ha. ha.

Alicia pounds the ball with serious force. Brandon sees the ball and tries to spike it back, but he misses. The ball comes back to Alicia and she smashes the ball. Once the ball gets back to Brandon, he finally sees the ball, but he still misses. Alicia pounds the ball three more times before it completely wraps around the pole.

Alicia: Well...I didn't expect you to be perfect at it on your first go anyways.

Brandon: So I guess that means, I have no rhythm then?

Alicia: Question: Do you play sports?

Brandon: I aske- what does me playing-

Alicia: Yea, I didn't think so either. I'm thinking that maybe a diagnostic test of this caliber isn't the best idea...

Brandon: No way! I can do ANYTHING you can do.

Alicia: Aww...

Alicia reaches and pinches Brandon's cheek

So cute!

Brandon pulls his face out from her fingers

Don't patronize me! Its bad enough YOU already have powers. You DON'T even need to train!

Alicia gets a shocked expression

EXCUSE ME?! DON'T NEED TO TRAIN?! I'll have you know that the superhero community is VERY shallow in its ways!

Brandon: SUPERHERO COMMUNITY?! YOU KEEP BRINGING THEM UP!

Alicia: Because you need to know this. The superhero community is very tightnit and shallow as well. They...”we” have strict guidelines on how your general appearance and upkeep are to be maintained.

Brandon: Really?

Alicia: Yes. Studies have shown that people prefer to be rescued by in shape, professional looking heroes. So, in short, a fat, young hero may always fail the mission. This is why the community started the “hero camp”.

Brandon: So...its like fat camp?

Alicia: In harsh terms yes, but its also for...uhh...umm...people like...uhh...you.

Brandon points at himself

Me?!

Alicia: No offense, but from these 2 exercises, I've accurately determined that you are quite out of shape.

Brandon: Well excuse me for not having super strength or perfect agility!

Alicia: Well, in your defense, you also don't know what powers, if any, that you posses...I wonder though...

Brandon: What?

Alicia: Yes...Yes...thats it

Alicia strokes her chin...

Maybe some “steroids”..

Brandon: Steroids!? Hell naw!

Alicia: Hold on! Hear me out. “Steroids” are...like...You know “Metal-Work”. He has no special abilities to speak of, but he made a suit that gives him...”considerable” talents. If you had one...it would only be until your natural abilities kicked in...

Brandon: Will...Will I be able to stretch?

Alicia looks confused

Why?

Brandon: This is gonna sound dumb...but...I wanna watch my own butt while I walk. I know, its weird.

Alicia: Actually, that's not a bad power....the reasoning however is more than a bit questionable however...

Brandon: Ok...lets say I did agree to your “steroid”, and lets say that I was interested in getting one.

Alicia: Hypothetically...

Brandon: Yeah, hypothetically...Where would I theoretically go about acquiring one?

Alicia: I'll just come by your house later on with a box. We have quite a few laying around at the “base”, so it'd be nothing to loan them out.

Brandon: Great! I mean...hypothetically, that would be good...Yeah...

Brandon nonchalantly tries to put his hands in his pockets, but realizes that the P.E. Shorts don't come with pockets too late. After his hands slip, he tries to play it off by scratching the back of his head.

Alicia: Yeah...just have your window open between the hours of 7:00pm and 9:00pm. I've got patrol duty tonight, so please excuse the broad time window.

Brandon: No worries...

Alicia: Well then, I will see you later.

She slaps him on the back and brings him down to the floor

I really can't wait for your powers to develop...

Later on in the day in Lunch

Shays and Brandon are standing at the end of a very long line for lunch. So much so that it snakes around the cafeteria like a domino set.

Shays: Yo Bran, today's not Thursday is it?

Brandon: Thurs-?...OH NO!

Shays: I knew the lines were uncharacteristically long today.

Brandon: Damn! Chicken Day. Well better prepare for not making it to class on time.

Shays: Yeah, I never do anyways. Aye, can I ask you something?

Brandon: What it is?

Shays: Whats up with you and that girl? You finally got a crush?

Brandon: Nah, shes like...my tutor. You know, peer counseling and stuff.

Shays: Ah, ok. I thought she was coming to break up the “Bro-Bi-Fecta” we got here.

Brandon: That sounds so gay man. I just thought I should be the first and LAST to tell you that.

Shays: I'm just sayin'...everytime a skirt comes around, the bros are least effective.

Brandon: If it makes you feel any better, I'd never let b***s come between us.

Shays: Yeah, Mans over Mamaries...

Brandon: You're on fire with pseudo-homosexual comments right now. You know that?

Shays: Do I sound paranoid? I mean, really? What are you doing tonight?

Brandon: Reconfiguring the creep-o-meter for the whole house...Wanna test if it works?

Shays: I'm serious man. I just got some sweet new issues of “Power Rankings”!

Brandon: Really?!

Shays: Yeah, I ordered em off Ebay straight from Japan! These aren't even 'sposed to be out yet!

Brandon: Damn!

Shays: Whats up?

Brandon: I got counseling tonight.

Shays: Can't ya...ya know, skip it?

The line moves forward and Brandon and Shays take a step

Brandon: Nah. Its important. Gotta pass Mr. Trigger's Algebra test next week.

Shays: That guys a d****e. And his head smells like cooter!

Brandon: Yeah, because you would know what the hell THAT smells like.

Shays: Hey I ALMOST made it to 1^st base.

Brandon: Oh, that's only 1 more than your hand allows you to do...

Shays: A hee hee, your mom.

Brandon and Shays both take one step forward as the line dwindles

So you gonna come over or what?

Brandon: Man, I can't- I really-

Alicia comes walking into the lunchroom, holding her books up on her chest and instantly targets Brandon and proceeds to walk over to him

Shays: Who invited her?

Brandon: Not I, said the boy.

Alicia: Hello, Brandon...”Friend”.

Shays: Friend? I'll have you know HE IS MY FRIEND!

Alicia: Oh, ok. I only called YOU friend, as a term of endearment. And also, because you are previously unknown to me.

Shays: Well my name is Shays.

Alicia: Well how are you Shays? My name is Alicia! I'm Brandon's peer mentor.

She puts her hand out for a handshake

Shays: I only shake hands with people I know.

Brandon: Ok Shays...you creepin' me out...

Shays: Listen man, you-

Alicia: I'm not trying to steal your friend from you. Relax Shays. I did however come to tell Brandon that one of my friends has been saving a spot in the line up near the front, and you two are welcome to come.

Shays: He declines.

Brandon: Hey speak for yourself brosef! Don't speak for me! I want food!

Alicia: So you are coming?

Brandon: Hells, yes!

Shays: Fine leave me. “Mans over Mamaries!”

Brandon: Calm down man. Chill. Either come with us and eat, or -

Shays: We have made our decision. We shall stay in the back and wait.

Brandon: Ok, well, you and your shadow have a great time. Because, Brans going to eat! LATERZ!

Alicia turns her back to Shays and walks off with Brandon to the front of the line

I really wanted him to come. Oh well. I really wanted to tell you that My patrol shift was canceled for reasons unknown to me. So I can be by your house around 6:00pm, is that ok with you?

Brandon: No problem to me. You should really run it by my mom though...

Alicia: Well she reads minds. She will know what you are going to do anyways...

Brandon: Yeah, you're right.

Almost everyone in the lunch room begin to stare at Brandon and Alicia walking together.

Randon Male: You See that? Otter's got a girl!

Random Girl: And they're cutting the line- TOGETHER!

Random Male 2: HEY! ONLY POPULAR kids can DO THAT!

Random Girl 2: Leave him alone. Let him have some food. Look how skinny he is!

Brandon: You know...people are talking about us...

Alicia: As long as they are attacking us, I am alright.

Alicia smiles to herself.

Brandon: You're weird. And that's coming from ME!

{---Afterschool---}

Brandon walks home on the familiar route by himself and gets to his house. He finally opens the door to his dad sitting on the couch.

Mark: Son...

Brandon: Don't you think this is overdoing it a bit?

Mark: huh?

Brandon: You're sitting down on the couch, not watching tv mind you, after having just received a major surgery...

Mark: Well, Its not like I just plopped down on the couch. I eased into it.

Brandon: Well...you should...uhh...be more careful...next time...

Mark: Son I-

Brandon: I've got some homework that needs to get done...

Mark: Oh yeah! Homework! Gotta keep your academics up...for college...heh heh...college...

Brandon: Yeah, well...I'm...gonna go on now...

Mark: A-Alright...

Brandon: Well, uhh...see ya at dinner...

Mark: Yeah...heh dinner.

Brandon runs up the stairs and slams the door to his room

What the hell am I doing?! I KNOW I should be asking for his help...but why can't I? He even tried to reach out to me down there! Damnit! Why can't I ask him?! Hes injured now, and I still CAN'T stand to be in the same room as HIM! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMMN IT!

Downstairs...

Mark: Maybe I should've turned the television on. That would've been more convincing...

Lucille: It wouldn't make a difference. Hes just not ready to open up to you...

Mark: What do you think I should do? Take him out to play catch? Does he even like sports?

Lucille: Baby, you sposed to be injured. How you gonna play catch after a major surgery?

Mark: I just don't know him dear. I wish I did, but I don't.

Lucille: Baby, you got me.

She points to her head

Mark: Thats kinda, cheating dear. I know normal parents wish for that type of power, but I don't think they really want to have that power...

Lucille: Fine, YOU can have him hate you.

Mark: No! OK! FINE! Scan his mind for obscure things. Small things that he wouldn't think that you scanned his mind for.

Lucille: Already done, baby.

Mark: So...?

Lucille: Give it two weeks. Take him fishing. Invite the girl.

Mark: He likes fishing?

Lucille: No, he just like being stranded out at sea. For some reason, he like to be out of touch and distance of help.

Mark: Is it too late for our son?

Lucille: Naw. We can fix this... The girl is coming by tonight. Shes gotta girl-crush on ya. She only gonna speak highly of you, so use that to your advantage, baby.

Mark: I'll do it.

Lucille: Also, if you gonna sneak out and fight crime baby, remember that you need your cane when you in the house...

Mark: Whoops...

Author's Note

Chapter 3 of the white hot, offbeat, teenaged superhero adventure store "Brandon Unlimited"