Far from King

Struggle of living through life, trying to move on and grow up but facing too many nearly impossible obstacles.

Battling thoughts with pencils. Telling stories of loss and victory. Underestimate the words on paper but believe the story told. The true prince who fought a real demon. Not a quest of love but the beginning of a personal hell. A struggle doesn't end by slaying one beast. It doesn't end with a beautiful princess in the end. Hell, sometimes it never ends. Each day presents a new evil, some left to fight another day from exceeding strength. I have many of those lingering. My sword was shattered long ago. My armor reforged over and over again. I have lost time and time again but victories I boast. I boast for victories are few. Trying to take king ship but I can't even take care of myself. Even I wouldn't bow to me. There is nothing to bow too. Love is what is imprinted on my shield. Yet love is scarce. So in the end I've had next to nothing protecting me besides a sword of fear. My fear died long ago. Now I wake to another beast added to the growing garden of demons. They bring everything back day and day for they know I no longer fear death, I fear suicide. They know that killing me is too easy, they know reliving day by day inside my head to only me is more painful then losing everything I love, they know that realizing the things I already lost and feeling what those things gave me kills me from wake to sleep...even then...Some drift to my escape and lock themselves in..