Fallen Way

What would you do if you only had twenty four hours left to live?

             

“Where…where am I?”

                When Ayuoh opened his eyes, he found himself in a bright white room. The brightness of the room hurt, so he closed his eyes again quickly. The next time he opened them, a small silver haired woman was standing over him. It took him a moment to recognize her as his wife.

                “Emma!” he gasped, “What’s going on?”

                The woman frowned at him. Her eyes were puffy and rimmed red around the edges. She wiped the back of her hand across them before sighing, “Oh, Ayuoh…”

                Ayuoh forced himself to sit up. He ached a bit, and was a little dizzy, but besides that he was feeling pretty good. He yawned and stretched. He was stiff, as if he had been sleeping for a while. He took in his surroundings carefully. He noticed from the equipment around the room that he was in a hospital. That was strange; he couldn’t remember doing something to put himself in here. Actually, he couldn’t remember anything from the last couple of days.

                “Huh? I’m in the hospital? What happened?” he asked with wide eyes as he looked at his wife. Emma just brought her hands up to her face to hide herself like she was crying again. He looked over toward the other people in the room. He saw his three children, his twin brother, and his parents. He was surprised that his brother’s children and their families weren’t here; if something bad enough to make Emma cry had happened, but he figured there was limited space so they weren’t allowed in.

                His mother stepped forward. Her glasses fell to the edge of her nose as she looked down at him through narrowed eyes. Her long, brown hair was pulled behind her shoulders, and it looked like she had been running her hands through it recently. That was a habit that ran in his family. He knew he did it too, and he had probably gotten it from his mother.

                “You idiot!” his mother, Megumi, hissed, “You fell into the river and hit your head! You’re lucky someone saw you and pulled you out before you drowned!”

                Ayuoh rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish grin on his face. Yes, he was known for doing stupid things like that. His mother was always frustrated with him.

                “Really? That’s weird. I feel fine now, except I’m a little dizzy.” Ayuoh replied.

                “It’s been three days, moron.” His twin brother, Kenta, shared.

                Ayuoh frowned at this news. Three days? Whoops. That was an accident. But he was fine now, right? But why was everyone still looking so sad?

                “You should have just drowned!” Megumi growled, and Ayuoh’s father, Irie, sighed and put a hand on her shoulder.

                “Don’t say that,” Irie said with a sigh.

                “Why not? He’s going to die anyway!” Megumi hissed back.

                This comment made Emma start sobbing. Ayuoh’s oldest son, Storm, walked up to his mother and gave her a hug.

                “Wait? What?” Ayuoh asked, looking around the room in a panic. It was finally his brother who spoke.

                “You have about a day to live, you moron,” Kenta said. Although the words were harsh, he said it in a voice filled with sadness and worry.

                “Why?” Ayuoh asked, his eyes widening in surprise and fear.

                “You hit your head pretty hard,” his father explained, “They said it would be surprising if you woke up at all.”

                “But I did! That’s got to mean something good, right?” Ayuoh exclaimed. But the rest of the room was silent. He sighed and placed his head in his hands, not sure how to take this news.

                He spent the rest of the night talking with his family. His mother had never liked him, and his father didn’t talk much. He was never close to his brother, even though they were identical twins. They fought over their parents’ attention too much as children. Ayuoh had actually had a reasonable conversation with all three of them, today, but he was happy once they left and he was left alone with his wife and kids.

                Ayuoh adored his family. He was rarely attracted to girls, but Emma was one of the few that he had completely fallen for. He was a bit of a klutz, and not too smart, so it was a surprising day when Emma decided she wanted to date Ayuoh Heights, of all people. It wasn’t long after that they got married and made three little Heights children. In hindsight, Ayuoh regretted not having even more children to love. But that was something he would have to get over now that he was going to die.

                By the time midnight came, his two youngest children were sleeping and the oldest looked like he was about to fall asleep too.  

                “I guess it’s time for bed,” Emma said. She picked up the little twins and placed them in a small bed that the hospital had for children of patients. Storm curled himself up in the chair, which left no room for Emma. Ayuoh moved over a little and patted the bed. With a smile, Emma crawled in next to him and kissed him on the cheek.

                “Heh, night Em,” Ayuoh laughed, giving her a kiss as well and wrapping his arms around her.

                “Goodnight Ayuoh,” She whispered in reply before closing her eyes and falling asleep in his arms.

                Ayuoh was the first one up the next morning. His children were planning on taking the day off of school today, and Emma was going to take the day off of work. It was six in the morning right now, and yet Ayuoh couldn’t find it in him to go back to sleep. After admiring Emma for a couple of minutes, he gave her a soft kiss and pulled his arms away from her. He got out of bed and stretched, holding his head when he started to get dizzy. After that initial dizziness, though, Ayuoh felt fine. It was hard to believe he was going to die today.

                He got dressed and showered as if it was a normal day. When he was finished, none of his family members were awake yet. Ayuoh walked over to the window and stared out into the hospital parking lot. Then it suddenly hit him. He didn’t want to die here. He had to get out. Emma would never let him, of course, so he didn’t have a choice but to sneak out while everyone was sleeping.

                He turned around and stared at his children. Storm, the oldest, was still curled up in his chair. He looked just like his father, brown hair and green eyes. Ayuoh was proud of him, even though all he did was sit around and play video games. He was a good kid.

                Then he looked over at the bed. There were his twin toddlers, Ayu and Ayuoh Junior. Emma had been so mad when she woke up after labor to find that Ayuoh had named the children after himself without her consent. She had eventually gotten over it, luckily. Ayu had brown hair like her father, and silver eyes like her mother. Junior was the exact opposite. He had silver hair like his mother and green eyes like his father. Both children were very into sports, especially soccer. Ayu would play anything Ayuoh threw at her, when Junior really only had liked soccer. He hoped one of the two would grow up to be a sports star. Too bad he would never get to see it.

                He looked at Emma one more time before shaking his head and walking out of the room. He snuck down the hallway and toward the exit, carefully hiding whenever a staff member approached. Within the next five minutes he was out the door and running for his freedom. The first place he wanted to go was back to his house. He wanted to do some exciting things today that he would never get to do otherwise, but unfortunately he had to make a will. He hadn’t even thought of that until right now. He had to make sure the clothing store he owned was transferred into Emma’s name as well.

                When he got home he found the front door locked. He slipped the key out of his pocket and opened the door. The house looked the same as always. Emma always kept it clean, but the kids enjoyed making a mess when she wasn’t looking. Right now there was a bundle of toys that hadn’t been cleaned up yet, but the rest of the house was spotless. Ayuoh went straight for his room and pulled out the ownership papers for his store. This is what he would get done first. He shoved the papers into his pocket and went to leave again when he saw a dog in their backyard. Oh, but this wasn’t just any dog. This was Ayuoh’s rival.

                The mutt outside was Emma’s brother’s dog. When he had moved into an apartment, he couldn’t take the dog with him. He dropped it off at his sister’s house, and here it had stayed for years. That dog was nothing but trouble though, just like its owner. As Ayuoh glared at the dog, he remembered that he had been chasing that dog for digging a hole in his backyard when he fell into the river. He was now going to die because of that dog.

                Ayuoh opened the sliding glass doors and jumped out into the backyard. He screamed, “DIE DOG!” and began to chase after it with his fist raised in the air. The dog paused in its sniffing to stare at the man before turning and fleeing. Ayuoh chased this dog for the next five blocks before he lost it.

                He leaned against a building and tried to catch his breath. Ayuoh was pretty mad the dog had escaped, but this chase reminded him that he had more important things to do. Now that he was in town, he had to go get the ownership of his shop transferred into his wife’s name. He spotted a law firm right across the street from where he had stopped. Feeling like it was his lucky day, until he remembered he was supposed to die today, he walked across the street and into the law firm. After waiting for a while, he got to talk to a lawyer. He handed the lawyer his papers, and after going through them and hearing his request the lawyer said, “Yes, Sir, we can do this here and now. It’s only a twenty five dollar fee.”

                Right, no problem. Ayuoh reached into his back pocket to find that his wallet had gone missing. It was probably back at the house, but he had no guarantees.

                “Hold on, just give me five minutes! I’ll run over to the bank just down the street and grab some money.” Ayuoh pleaded. When the lawyer gave him an O.K. Ayuoh left and walked down the street to the bank. By now he had forgotten all about the dog, and he was focused on getting money to transfer the ownership of his shop.

                Ayuoh walked into the bank to find a guy dressed in black and holding a gun standing at the counter. Everyone except the cashier was huddled on the ground in fear. The cashier was shoving money into a bag the gunman held. Watching this scene gave Ayuoh an idea. A very terrible idea.

                Ayuoh stepped up and grabbed the gunman’s head. Before he could react, Ayuoh shoved the man’s face against the counter harshly. The man was knocked out right away and fell over onto the floor. As the people around him cheered, Ayuoh reached down and picked up the bag and the gun. This gave Ayuoh another idea.

                Now, if you know Ayuoh Heights, you would know that he wasn’t the smartest guy around. He had no common sense and relied on what other people told him. Right now, the man was thinking, ‘Hey, I only have today to live! I’m going to see what it feels like to be running from the police!’

                Because no one was there to tell Ayuoh what a terrible idea that was, he decided to run with it.

                “Hey,” Ayuoh said, gesturing to the lady at the counter with his gun, “I’m just going to take this stuff with me now. Don’t want to hurt you or anything though. Have a nice day!”

                With that said, the people watched as Ayuoh walked out the door. He could hear the police sirens in the distance. Now Ayuoh had another idea. He always watched all of the police chases on T.V., and he had always wanted to be in one. Since today was his last day to live, he figured he might as well. He spotted a man that was just about to get into his car. He was unlocking it with his keys. After he unlocked it, Ayuoh took the keys from him. He dropped the gun on the ground, just not even caring about it, threw the money in the passenger seat, and started the car. The owner of the vehicle just stared at him.

                “For your troubles, thanks!” Ayuoh said to the man, handing him a wad of cash out of the bag before speeding off down the street. The money reminded him that there had been a reason he went to the bank in the first place, but he honestly couldn’t remember what it was anymore. He figured it wasn’t that important then.

                That was when Ayuoh saw the dog. That stupid dog of his brother-in-law’s that put him into this situation in the first place. Ayuoh floored the car, and it shot off in the direction of the dog. By this time, the police were already behind him, trying to catch him. Unfortunately, the dog dodged out of Ayuoh’s way and the car slammed into the wall of the nearest building. Ayuoh jumped out of the car, leaving the money behind, and ran down the street. He heard the police officers chasing after him.

                Ayuoh turned into the nearest public building, which happened to be an office building, and jumped into the elevator. He hit the button for the highest floor. Once he got out of the elevator, he saw a stair case and ran up it. He found himself emerging onto the roof. Ayuoh was trapped now.

                He went to run back down the stairs, but a horde of police officers had already followed him up there. He gave them a cheesy smile and a wave. One of the officers sighed and another came up and handcuffed Ayuoh’s wrists behind his back. They led him down the stairs and into the elevator once again. As he was pushed out the front door of the office building, Ayuoh explained, “You know, I’m going to die in a few hours, so there really isn’t anything you can do about this. Sorry to waste your time, but it was my dying wish to be in a police chase!”

                The officers just frowned at him, and he was pretty sure he heard one of them laugh. That was when Ayuoh noticed a familiar face standing next to the police car they were taking him toward.

                “Emma?” Ayuoh gasped.

                His wife was crying, but she looked pretty pissed off as well.

                “Hey,” Ayuoh said before she could say anything, “I’m sorry Emma. I just wanted to have fun on my last day alive.”

                Emma gave him a weak smile and asked, “So, did you have fun?”

                “Yes!” Ayuoh replied, “I had a lot of fun!”

                “Well that’s good, because you aren’t dying.”

                “What?”

                “They mixed your test results up with someone else’s. They said that once you woke up, you would be fine to go home. Unfortunately, you were nowhere to be found. Then I got a call that you had been spotted robbing a bank and was in a police chase. I didn’t know what to think, Ayuoh.”

                Ayuoh gaped at his wife. He had no idea what to think either. He had had a lot of fun when he thought he was going to die. Now that he knew he was going to live, though…

                Ayuoh said, “So, wait. This means that everything I did today is going to count against me because I’m really going to live?”

                “Yes, Ayuoh,” Emma replied.

                “So…I’m going to jail for robbing a bank, stealing a car, wrecking that car, and running from the police?”

                “Yup.”

                Ayuoh was speechless as he was pushed into the back seat of the police car and the door was slammed in his face. 

 First Place

Aug 16, 2011

• Defy Expectations (Short Story)
• Fallen Way

 2nd

Jul 27, 2011

• 12 Hours -- Anything Goes
• Fallen Way

 Third!

Jul 24, 2011

• Write Anything!
• Fallen Way

 5th

Jul 20, 2011

• a valentines day
• Fallen Way

 new pen genius

Jul 12, 2011

• Best New Talent
• Fallen Way

 My favorite

Jul 7, 2011

• Shorts
• Fallen Way

 I laughed my heart out!

Jul 3, 2011

• Write about this prompt
• Fallen Way

Author's Note

I actually wrote this for a contest one of my friends entered. I was like, HEY! THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FUN TOPIC! So I got this. Unfortunately, I got kind of bored and rushed for time at the end. Hope you enjoyed it anyway.

I changed the picture after deciding that I wasn't going to use this one for another story. It's Ayuoh and Kenta as children, made by my friend.

Reviews

[TheSweet]

This is quite an amusing story that did keep me reading. Though I can tell your enthusiasm slowly declined all the way through - and there are plenty of people who have said about the cliché ending of test results, so I wont repeat :P

I think given another edit or a revisit after a good while might do this story the world of good, maybe even if you leave it another year or two. The theme and the idea is thought provoking: 'What would I do?'. I just think that when you're time and writing style changes a little, this is one that would be fun and interesting to play with :)

I did like the characters, and the description at the start did show the slow reveal of a waking and perhaps concussed guy. The description does waver though, and it starts to feel a little superficial as you seemed to focus on the querky humour.

I will be honest and say I'm not entirely sure about your wirting style, but I definitely enjoyed the read as it is something a little different. Thanks for sharing :)

[Most Toasty Ghost]

it was good, but kind of hard for me to finish. just not an area i'm interested in i guess.

[Viki Rachel]

Ha-ha, that's good for a story you rushed. I thought it was weird in the beginning that hitting his head really hard would cause him to die, and that nobody was shocked. He didn't even act like he cared in the beginning. "I'm going to die? What? ...Oh, okay."
I feel kind of bad for him though, now. I wonder how long of a sentence he got? I smiled a little at the end, and it's not like you poured your heart and soul into it so I'm not amazed but it's not bad; it's honestly not bad at all.

[Trinity]

Great story, really great ;) Though the ending might have been a bit lame, the swapped results and stuff, it still was a lot of fun to read and I enjoyed it very much! :)

[S4MFrost]

It was a great ending, except for the reason he's still alive. "The tests results got swapped" is kind of lame. Other than that, it was really fun and well written.

[Tina Kline]

Great story! I love it. I think this would make a great movie. It has everything a movie would need and a great ending.

[Star Wolf]

This is one awesome story - I really enjoyed reading it. Nice twist at the ending, made the whole story perfect. You have great storytelling skills!

[Black Cat Fever]

A really fun story. Just proves that you can't always believe what the doctors tell you and probably a lot of other people too. Too bad for him he did.

[Scyrus123]

You have a high chance of winning the contest you just entered lol!

[MattHeston]

Quite good, dark at the begining, I enjoyed it. Good read and a nice write.