I Want It Back

You have taken a piece of my heart and I want it back.

My heart is not whole now because of you.

You have taken the key to my heart and I want it back.

No one can open my heart because of you.

All the love that I once gave you... I want it back.

I now have no more love to give because of you.

All the hugs and conversations we once had... I want it back.

I'm not capable of hugging or talking to anyone because of you.

I just want it all back.

 

Don't say you're sorry and that you never meant to hurt me.

Because all along I knew you were just using me.

I just didn't want to believe it.

Author's Note

I tried my luck at repeating. I think I kinda sucked. What are your opinions? I could use some help. And also... There was more to the poem but it just sounded funny so I took it out.

Reviews

[BenightedWhispers]

I like it a lot. The repitition was pretty good. It would be better if you put it into stanzas and added more flow. For example:

"You have taken
a piece of my heart
and I want it back..." Something like that.

I like it. It has strong emotion.

Pictures add emphisis to your writing. You should add a picture for the place where you click, and then maybe like a key or something (like a girl yelling sternly at a boy) at the end of the poem. A poem I wrote, "Tell Him Yourself", might show you what I mean.

[Colleen a Bean]

It doesn't suck it's pretty good I like it except for the fact that u were upset but u did great expressing yourself hun :)

[Stammers]

No, your repetition worked well, even more so when I re-read it. I like the idea of regret, valuing what you gave and wanting to give it to someone worthy, but unable to move on as you you've nothing left to do it with.

Nice, it has that feeling of a step in the right direction where your writing is concerned. Good write =]

[TamiViolet]

I felt it if that means anything. Wouldn't it be great if we could forget...?

This piece is great because most everyone can relate. Yeah. We believe that they will love us, but all along we know....

Swept up in denial....

Every once in awhile, I review a piece that stands out in some way...in this case, bringing me to tears.... but tears are synonomous with life....

I want it back........ Magnificent!!!