Chapter 1

The cold hard snow burned through his skin as it made impact with his face. The portly young boy neared closer to Thomas.

He laughed. "Do you actually believe you have what it takes to become a Hunter," said the boy.

"I know I can become a Hunter. Mark my words Fido When I become a Hunter I will be the greatest of them all!" Thomas roared.

"Whatever, you're too poor to survive, you'll be dead in a week." Fido chuckled as he retreated down the alley.

Thomas stood alone. He couldn't help but believe that Fido might be right. He's gone days without a meal and the villagers don't want to help the boy especially not in the middle of winter when the prices of food is high.

Thomas shrugged off the thought. He's always been optimistic about things. Hell, almost everything. It's the only thing he can be. His parents died during a bandit raid when he was 3. Remembering very little about his parents, not knowing if he had a happy family or not. He doesn't even know his own name only clinging on the name Thomas to honor his recently deceased friend that the wealthy villagers killed when he was stealing food.

Thomas walked around the village. Passing the town square with the gigantic clock tower. Everywhere he looked he saw a villager accompanied by another. Smiling and laughing as they bought and browsed in the market. Except Thomas. Being alone and seeing their happiness saddened him. He ran. Holding his tears back as he distanced himself from the cheery villagers that depressed him. He envied them. Envied the way they can be so happy, even in difficult times. He knew it was because everyone of them had someone to share the burden with. Thomas no longer has anyone.

He looked back noticing that the time was approaching noon. He wiped away his tears walking towards a house that sat on the south west corner of the village. Thomas started to climb. Placing his feet and hands on the small openings in the walls, reaching the top. Thomas wiped the last of his tears and waited as the clock drew closer to noon.

It rang, and like a rehearsed scene the lovely gal from behind one of the canopied window got into position. Thomas giggled as he watched her undress. Thomas with all his free time during the summer found the perfect angle to see inside her room. She would always change around this time into one of her large beautiful dresses. His perverted nature was common among most young boys his age. However Thomas, whenever he was caught, would call it research.

Usually he would get away with the excuse, but only from the lazier group of guards. The serious guards like Captain Wood, if he was ever caught by him, would immediately chase him down.

Satisfying his perverted nature Thomas laid on the roof looking up to the clouded sky. He closed his eyes. Thinking of the great tales passed through the ages of heroic Hunters conquering evil foes.

The amount of strength their magic gives them to complete their bounty. Thomas thought of Aedre. A female Hunter who fought and killed the Great Elf king during the Human-Mystical beast war. The latter being the strongest elf mage in history. One by the name of Alexander defeated a vampire that's been killing villagers and travelers that visited the Dark Woods south of the village.

Thomas wants to be like them. He wanted the life and glory that it offered. But to be a Hunter one needs magic running through their blood, which Thomas does not have. Unlike the elves, vampires, and orcs who have an affinity for magic, humans with this affinity are limited to a few.

His stomach growled. Thomas could no longer handle his hunger. He had to steal. After Thomas died stealing from the rich, Thomas grew fearful of dying the same way. His friend was mauled by them. They had no sympathy for him. They just laughed and continued their torture. Finally when they stopped Thomas could no longer recognize him. Thomas no longer cared. If stealing from the rich is his only sin then he would do it.

Thomas made his way to the O'neils fruit stall. Usually Mr. O'neil would be half asleep, waiting for someone to buy his overpriced fruits. Thomas noticed a figure next to Mr. O'neil, it was his son, Fido!

Arrgh! How am I gonna do this? Thomas thought, scratching his head in annoyance from behind the house.

With little education he wasn't always able to make a well thought out plan, especially with his empty stomach. The girl Thomas was peeping on not too long ago approached the stall. Mr. O'neil kindly greeted her as she browsed through his stall.

Thomas noticed the type of dress she was wearing. It was a huge type of dress that the nobles would wear that stretches a good few inches outwards making it extremely hard to approach the wearer. Thomas jumped with joy as he thought of the perfect plan.

The hard part would be getting the O'neil's to look the other way. Thomas leaned over, shoving snow aside and grabbing whatever rocks he could find.

Thomas made his way closer, but not too close that they would notice him. Getting behind a crate a few meters away from range. Mr. O'neils voice finally became audible. Thomas couldn't bare him bragging about his son's accomplishments. Most weren't impressive to begin with. Regardless, he made his way towards closer, hiding behind a wagon. Thomas looked at Fido as he aimed to hit him with the first rock.

Thomas threw the rock missing Fido, a foot too high. Thomas took a deep breath. He threw his second rock, accidentally hitting the young lady in the back. Thomas face flustered in embarrassment. He never thought himself of an awful shot. The young lady decided to take her leave. Thomas had to react quick and get this shot right. If he didn't he would starve. He stepped out of cover and threw the rock as hard as he could towards Fido, hitting him in the forehead.

Fido roared in pain. The young lady stayed her place and Mr. O'neil attended his son. Thomas quickly ran behind the Young lady's skirt. Thomas noticed her skirt was transparent at this distance. Thomas shrugged it off as food was the most important. Fido could still be heard complaining about the pain on his forehead. Thomas stomach growled once more. He quickly move around her skirt and snatched a handful of fruits.

Fido pushed his father off him as he tried to touch his wound, noticing Thomas.

"Father look there", he yelled.

Me. O'neil turned seeing Thomas run off into the village streets.

"Come back here you thief"! Yelled Mr. O'neil asked he ran towards Thomas.

Sweat dripped from the forehead of young Thomas. Usually it would take a bit longer to start sweating from exhaustion, but his malnourished body was nearing its limits. His breathing becoming heavy, his legs starting to fail him.

"I'm almost there", he muttered.

The villagers around him doubled in number. The road, houses, stalls moving in and out of his path causing him to believe that they were in front of him. He collapsed. The fat stall owner finally catching up to him grabbed Thomas by the hair, dragging him to the nearest ally. There he started beating Thomas

"You bloody no good for nothing sob. How dare you steal from my stall. Why wont you just die already"?

He couldn't speak or move, not that he wanted to anyways. His vision wasn't any better, the left eye just recently losing its light. The other only just responsive to his mental commands. The bitter cold snow freezing his limbs, and sucking up his splattered blood. Usually the other stall owners that Thomas stole from would leave him be after giving him a good beating. but yet, this one was different. He seemed to have a personal hatred for Thomas. He stopped. Showing signs exhaustion. He left Thomas alone for a good half hour leaving him to freeze up in the snow. On his return he wasn't alone. With him was his son.

"There you go son teach this peasant what happens when he messes with the O'neils". He said spitting on Thomas's lifeless face.

The boy, like his father was relentless. Thomas coughed up blood he didn't know he had. The kicks, and punches breaking his ribs. His lungs giving out. Thomas could feel himself dying. He could feel his soul coming out of him, ready for the afterlife.

Then it stopped. Mr. O'neil, and his son screaming in frustration in response to two mysterious figures.

"What are you doing? Do you know who I am? I'll have your balls for this", Mr. O'neil barked.

"Aaa shut it will ya? Your not in any position to make threats so longs we got your son by the throat", said the mysterious man with the weird accent.

Another man holding a knife next to the son's throat. Both of their faces covered by a mask.

"Alright what do you want? I'll give you anything just let my son go".

The man barked at the O'neil. The conversation being inaudible for Thomas who is on the verge of death. Mr. O'neil left on his way to do whatever the mysterious man told him to do. After a couple minutes O'neil returned bringing with him food and a pink jug.

"Here's your fat son back. Remember if you tell any of the guards about this we're coming after you", said the man.

Mr. O'neil looked furious. A wealthy business owner humiliated by two mere men, but nonetheless he left with whatever pride he had left. Looking dissatisfied by not being able to beat Thomas any further.

"Ok let's heal the boy first". One of them said.

The one who held the knife grabbed the jug and spilled the fluid down Thomas's throats. Nothing happened. Thomas couldn't feel any different except for the feeling of time standing still. Then a surge of energy rushed through his body. Thomas never felt anything like it. The energy flowing through him felt like electricity. Soon his eye sight returned and even giving him more clarity than before. His broken ribs felt like it was glueing back together. In a matter of seconds the rest of his injuries healed. Thomas couldn't believe what just happened.

"Th... Th.. Thank you. Whoever you are". Thomas said, still shaken.

It was silent. The two strangers looked at each other for a moment. Even with their faces covered they understood each other's thoughts, and nodded. The one who threatened Mr. O'neil took his mask off revealing his oblong shaped face. His hair being a dirty blonde color.

"Your welcome. The names Blake and my stoic friend here is Aakil". He said.

Aakil was a giant. Dwarfing Thomas and Aakil.

"I hope you feel better kid". Said Blake.

"Yes I feel great. Better than I have in years. Eh.. The names Thomas. And if I may ask.. Why did you save me"?

"On our way to our employer we saw that sorry excused of a human being torturing you. We couldn't help ourselves", Blake said, handing Thomas some food.

Thomas didn't resist, he grabbed the apple that was handed to him, and took a bite.

"Blake we shouldn't be wasting anymore time here", Said Aakil. His voice being the deepest Thomas has ever heard.

"Alright. Hey, Thomas was it, do you have a place to stay"?

"Don't you worry about that. I'll let him stay at my place for a little while", said a third voice.

It was Captain Wood standing near the end of the alley. Wood being as tall as Aakil. They stood there silent. Thomas wondered what Aakil looked under that mask and hood.

"Don't worry I know him, he's the Captain of the guards". Said Thomas

"Great, then we'll leave him with you then". Said Blake.

"I'll make sure he's safe from here". Said Wood with a mischievous grin on his face.

Reviews

[6PENNY]

Paragraph 6, 4th sentence. Repeats the words "The only" Two times.
Paragraph 7. It would be best to extend the time he was depressed but then slowly have him calm down as soon as he saw the female figure.
Paragraph 10. Its snowing hard and its sunny.
Paragraph 13-16. Some words are mistaken here so I'd sugguesd to look at these at least once. If you wish for a more detailed example. Please do say so.
---------
You have a good start for your story. Though I'd have to say that it does not seem quite unique yet, including the protagonist. But it is good that your story is leaving me to think of what might happen next to 'Thomas'.

[Isaias Gonzalez]

HA! Thanks. I been re-editing this and forgot where I stopped on certain parts. Thank you for your review.

[Oiram Publishing]

In my opinion Thomas is used to many times, it takes the reader out of the "now", and that takes away the personal interaction with the reader. The flow of story is to abrupt, it needs to transition the events more subtly. The story holds my curiosity.