A Death As You Like It

This was for a writing class. The assignment was to write a short story that reflected the style of P.G. Wodehouse. Also, it had to contain a reference to a bible character and a butler. Enjoy!

A DEATH AS YOU LIKE IT

 

The whole mess started one particularly sluggish Sunday morning just before Sunday School, at about 8’o clock. Now you must understand that it was the time of day when groggy high schoolers, with espresso in hand stumble half-heartedly into a very blindingly colorful class room, attempting to secure a cushy couch seat. It is not the time or place to put forth devilishly hard academic questions or to ponder profound statements, nay not even to chat about the latest gossip; for at eight on Sunday the dense mind of a youngster is at its worst. However, dear Shorty Blinkings seemed in the dark as to his comrades state of mind and went along and dropped quite the bomb on us all.

“I say,” He said, leaning forward with unusually bright, black eyes. “Did you hear that Justin Beiber went and died?” He was of course referring to the Justin Beiber, a recent teen pop star who, with his dashing good looks had captured the hearts of millions of young girls. Well upon hearing this bit of unfounded news, Katie--a blond girl sitting next to Shorty-- let out a truly awful scream followed by “JUSTIN IS DEAD!” She then fainted amidst the squealing cries of several other girls who thought that Pavilion was dead, a red headed classmate who’s first name was coincidentally, Justin. So after running about in a tearful frenzy the mislead group of girls collapsed taking out several others who happened to be in the way. But their silly little heads hardly touched the ground before Justin Pavilion, like Lazarus raised from the dead, trudged into the class room.

“Oi, your not dead.” said an overly observant boy.

“No he‘s not dead!” Interjected the befuddled Shorty waving his arms wildly in the air. “I said Justin Beiber was--”

“Beeper is dead!?” Interrupted a rather loud and boisterous person named Tom.

“He’s in my class!”

“Mine too! I didn‘t know he died,” added another over excited teen, as he spilt his coffee all over the place.

“No, no you’ve got it all wrong!” I yelled trying to explain the conundrum, but it was no use. By that time the whole room was a commotion of red and pale faced people tripping over the fallen and arguing confusedly over who had actually died. Shorty in the mean time, melted into the couch in despair, no doubt wishing his butler, Leshing was present to clear up the whole mess. But as it was the matter never resolved and as Shakespeare so wonderfully says “It all turned out as you like it.”-- or something of that sort.

THE END!

Author's Note

This is just silly, but my teacher thought it was good enough to put on his webiste.
Whatever.... O.o

Reviews

[HighBrowCulture]

subconcious sadism. people treat ruin like conduit art.

[Alphachad]

Your teacher was right. It's absolutely hilarious. I'm giving u an A for making me laugh alone in my room :D

[Nadia Vincent]

A very comical story! I think it betrays dreams many of us have when it comes to annoying pop sensations, why won't they all just disappear?
Anywho, I think it might be better to have something else rather than "I" when it comes to the "I" after “No, no you’ve got it all wrong!” I yelled trying to explain the conundrum" it sorted of pops from no where and the story wasn't being told from first-person prospective.
Great job!

[Jeffrey Gershom]

I enjoyed this story too! You know the mindset of youth. Lol. It greatly reflects the fact that people hear what they want. And like Shakespeare, Kurt Vonnegut would say, "So it goes." Good job! :))

[Malcolm Orestream]

Good work, I really enjoy it. This one made my day.

I really like it! it's funny and it uses Justin Bieber. So people have their opinions on him :> Good read!

[Sam Cambell]

I love your story. It's really funny, but I have to say my favorite part was when it mentioned the death of Beiber. Ugh... Beiber... I wish someone really would shut the kid up for good. Haha. But good story, and good luck in my contest :D

[.]

"at eight on Sunday the dense mind of a youngster is at its worst."
...what a clever line Paris...this is such real feeling story:-)
excellent---I Love It!!!:-)

james:-)

[Amelia Harris]

I love this story! So hilarious. I should read some P.G. Wodehouse.

[John Stussy]

Quite a comical read, though I wish that Shorty Blinkings had been right. The kid is a nuisance and I'm annoyed with kid stars haha.